Zombie Nightmare

Ever get together with your pals and watch horrible movies while you suck down donuts and cheap beer? Well then this one is for you! Actually this movie really sucks. However there are some inspired moments of suckiness. Such as when the heavy metal oaf with the heart of gold is about to get struck by a car of "mall punks." He stands in the road looking at them and yelling in slow motion until they mow him down! Pretty amusing. The leader of the mall punks is the best part though. Definitely one of the best cheesiest cool badass leaders ever put in a crappy film. There is one hilarious scene in particular where he is arguing with his Mom. So what does this badass gang leader do? He throws a strainer full of wet noodles at his Mom! Watch and laugh. Make sure to get plenty of beer and donuts for this one!

Never before have so few words so fittingly summed up a film as the VideoHound Movie Guide's entry on ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE. "Cheap and stupid" were the key words in its evaluation of this (extremely) low-budget, Canadian-made horror flick. But what our friends at VideoHound forgot to mention is that ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE is also occasionally (and unintentionally) hilarious in the tradition of awful movies from yesteryear.

Jon Mikl Thor plays a muscle-bound lunkhead who heads to the corner store for Momma one fateful night. After heroically fending off two would-be robbers, our good ol' boy is fatally struck by a car full of bad ass punks who speed away from the scene. Rather than call an ambulance, the store owner does what any of us would, loading the corpse into a car and dropping it off to Lunkhead's fretful mom. Having already lost her husband to punkery, Momma calls in the friendly neighborhood voodoo practitioner to turn her son into a modern day Lazarus. Soon the goon is up and around once more, only he's not nearly as friendly as he now screams a lot and clobbers the hit-and-runners with a baseball bat.

ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE is like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE in that everyone will have their own favorite example of its ineptitude. For this reviewer, the hands down winner is Shawn Levy, who is inadvertently uproarious as Jim the head punk. It's positively priceless to see Jim, he of blow-dried '80s hair and preppy clothes, recant how he actually enjoyed striking Lunkhead. "Christ," he says in what was intended as a creepily dramatic moment, "it was so easy." And who could forget the moment when Jim, in a fit of uncontrollable rage, hurls a handful of cold spaghetti at his nagging mom? You just know this dude and his cohorts would last about 10 minutes in a real high school.

Of course there are other highlights (lowlights?). There's never been a less frightening zombie than Thor. I'm sorry, but big muscles, long hair and short sweat pants exude stupidity, not fury. The zombie's appearance becomes increasingly ridiculous as the film progresses, going from Lunkhead to some Munster-looking dude with short black hair. ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE also attempts some humor, most notably with Jim's frequent non-success with the ladies. But it's all so lame you end up laughing AT the movie, not WITH it. Then there's the Adam West factor. You just know that any film that has to misleadingly give top billing to the former BATMAN star is doomed. That said, there is a certain perverse pleasure in seeing a man we all know and love from childhood being dragged into the cruel depths of hell by a born-again corpse.

It's quite stunning that that something like ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE was able to clear all the hurdles involved in seeing a a film come to fruition. It's amazing someone thought of it. It's more amazing that someone had enough faith in those involved to fund it. Our amazement continues to escalate when we think that real people -- presumably those interested in careers in the motion picture industry -- would allow their names to be attached to it and that a company, no matter how desperate, would release it on video. No wonder they say truth is stranger than fiction.

After witnessing the murder of his father, young Tony Washington grows up into the hulking, musclebound version of himself (Jon Mikl Thor). Meanwhile, a gang of brainless punks are causing trouble. Tony, busily ridding the streets of crime, encounters said ne'er do wells, resulting in his untimely demise.

Thankfully, Tony's mum knows the local voodoo priestess, who dresses up like an eeevil clown and whips up some mumbo jumbo tout de suite! Let the ungodly ineptitude that is ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE begin! Rising from his grave with hard-boiled eggs for eyes, Tony sets out for ultimate vengeance.

A masterwork of hyper-schlock cinema, this movie excels in every category! There are non-actors, acting as though they've just been handed their scripts for the first time. This gives the dialogue that fresh, robotic sound. Lines are delivered in a quasi-human fashion, making us believe that animated mannequins have somehow learned to speak.

The plot proves that scripts can be written "on the fly", during filming, without editing! This forces the various characters to wander about, oblivious to whatever is taking place. The crooks, the cops, the squawking medical examiner, the whole cast!

However, no one outshines Thor as the Frankenstein-in-sweat-clothes hero, who's hair length changes in every scene! A true stroke of genius!

EXTRA POINTS FOR: Adam West as Capt. Tom Churchman. He's rough! He smokes cigars! He's Batman with a mustache!

EXTRA-EXTRA POINTS FOR: The music! Any movie that opens with Ace Of Spades by Motorhead... um, at least has that going for it!...

In the grand tradition of other resurrected corpse stink-fests from the mid 1980's, such as "THE VIDEO DEAD", "FOREVER EVIL", "I WAS A TEENAGE ZOMBIE", "RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD" and "HARD ROCK ZOMBIES", Gold Gems Ltd. kindly presents "ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE" (a.k.a. "THE LAST VIDEO ON THE SHELF").

After a promising opening credit sequence, featuring the strains of Motorhead's "Ace Of Spades", it seems the film can do no wrong. The overall result is a film that's never as good as it wants to be and ends up falling extremely short of it's early promise. To put it mildly, this ain't exactly "THE LION OF WINTER", but it'll do.

Everyone's favorite steel-bending rock god thespian, Jon Mikl Thor of the aptly-named metal band THOR, plays a dork in a hooded sweatshirt who becomes victim to a hit-and-run by Tia Carrere and Co. His mother calls upon the neighborhood voodoo priestess, played by Manuska Rigaud (think Karen Black and Tina Turner's lovechild on PCP), to resurrect her dead son, so he can wreak revenge on the tire-squealing curlies. One by one, the no-good teenagers meet their end by the hands of the zombified dork in the hooded sweatshirt.

Halfway into the film, Adam West makes a welcome appearance, playing the local police chief who may have something to do with the intricate proceedings. Well, I won't give anything away here! Let's just say, if your name is Ronnie Milsap, you'll never see it coming! Think "THE USUAL SUSPECTS" with Manuska Rigaud. Get the picture?

For those who may ponder Adam West's involvement in such a film, allow me to put it into perspective, how many actors can say they've worked with The Three Stooges AND Jon Mikl Thor? I rest my case.

Thor went on to star in a whole 'nother nightmare, "ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE" (a.k.a. "THE EDGE OF HELL" or "Hey, I rented ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE, and when I got home to play it, this tape was inside"). If "ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE" is good, then "ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE" is DAMN good... or, maybe not.

I recommend watching both films back to back and then running around naked in a chicken coop, with petroleum jelly on your feet, for three hours. Compare the experiences and get back to me ASAP. Thanks.

When the film begins, a father is stabbed to death trying to save a young lady from being raped. Years later, the man's son is hit by a bunch of jerks in a Mercedes and his angry mother gets the local voodoo priestess to resurrect her son in order to exact revenge on his killers.

"Zombie Nightmare" is a very bad movie. However, it's not nearly bad enough to be the third lowest rated film on all of IMDb. Like so many films on IMDb's Bottom 100 list, it was spoofed on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and because of this it's rated so low. I assume most of the folks who scored this one a 1 never saw the actual film--just the MST3000 version. Other films unfairly on the list are such bad but not that bad movies like "The Girl With Gold Boots" and "Mitchell". So don't believe the hype--it's just not 100% horrible--just 98.7% bad!

I was excited to see that this film stars Adam West and Jon Mikl Thor. Thor is also the guy who played the lead in the terrible "Rock 'n Roll Nightmare"--and like in that film, he and his bad provide some of the music for this movie. And, speaking of music, that's the ONLY good thing about the film--the hard rock tunes are pretty decent. However, the bad very, very easily outweighs the good. The acting (especially by Molly Mekembe and Jim) is just pathetic--and who, exactly, was the coroner trying to imitate?! The zombie is hilarious, as it's supposed to be Tony (Jon Mikl Thor) but has completely different color and length hair! I suppose that in this bizarre town, zombies go to the hair salon before going on their rampage! The directing and editing are also terrible--such as when you see the dead guy in the pool moving his arms back and forth. Hey, hello...he's DEAD so why is he still moving?! Overall, this is a terrible film--don't misunderstand me about this. But there are hundreds of movies that are worse--much worse. The music alone is reason to give the film a 2 instead of a 1. Still, this one is bad enough that it does make for fun viewing by bad movie junkies as its full of unintended laughs.