Teatro de Sangue

Mary Woronov and the chick that plays Selina (the bitch of the group) were the saving graces of this movie. There is barely any blood, the acting is bad, the killings are off screen, but on the other hand it has a couple of funny moments, topless nudity, it has a high body count and a lot of good one-liners. See it, you'll laugh a lot.

Movie House Massacre (1984)

* (out of 4)

Three college students are asked to clean up an old movie theatre so that it can open back up. It doesn't take long for the three to regret taking the job.

This forgotten film is out there under a couple different titles including the catchy MOVIE HOUSE MASSACRE as well as the better known BLOOD THEATRE. No matter what you call it, it's doubtful that you're going to be overly entertained by this thing, which tries to put the slasher genre inside an old theatre. Obviously one will think of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA but sadly there's just not too much going on here.

The biggest problem is that there are some really bad performances, not enough violence and what violence there is all happens off screen. For a horror movie, even by 1984 standards, this here is rather lame as it just doesn't feature enough to keep the viewer entertained. There are a couple quick shots of nudity but that's about it. The story has a few interesting ideas and a better screenplay would have helped but sadly there's just not enough going on here to make it worth watching.

My review was written in January 1986 after watching the movie on Active video cassette.

"Movie House Massacre", made in 1984, is an unimpressive spoof of horror films which went directly to the home video market, bypassing theatrical release. Despite the presence of accomplished actress Mary Woronov, it plays like amateur night at the bijou.

Gimmick is a presumably haunted movie theater (originally a legit theater house), where many years ago the manager went nuts, started a fire (creating a panic) and stabbed the ticket booth girl to death. Now the owner of the 11-screen Spotlite Theaters chain attempts to reopen the accursed place, sending three hapless employees to clean up the site for the big opening night. Supposedly he will get a $25,000 reward from parties unknown for daring to reopen the joint.

Hokey subplot has one of the employees being a school cheerleader, so her fellow cheerleaders can visit her at the theater and become standard victims of the ghostly killer. Body count mounts until a botched nonending.

Filmmaker Alice Raley demonstrates an ignorance of rudimentary technique, with poorly matched shots, minimal sound mix and incompetent editing. Woronov keeps busy with irrelevant bits of business as tghe theater owner's assistant, but the rest of the cast is blah. Location filming at the Beverly Theater in Beverly Hills and Fairfax Theater in Los Angeles delivers some atmosphere.

If "Massacre" had been released theatrically, exhibitors would not have been pleased by its silly in-jokes, emphasizing a corrupt theater owner who is more interested in videotaping bootleg versions of films off his screen than in satisfying his (less lucrative) filmgoing clientele.

To truly appreciate this film you had to be there (acting?) or have been a crew member.

Yes, I am "Selena", and at the ripe old age of 42, have serious doubts about what we were doing/did.

It all started out to be like a "John Waters" type thing, friends acting badly in bad films. Somewhere along the line,the fun discontinued, people who were supposed to be friends didn't speak anymore, and BAD became worse.

I regret the bad image I might have projected.(Try to fit in size one gold spandex pants,)

Other than that, the film SUCKS so badly, I would not even make my mama watch it.

To my director, cast and crew I say,

"Why can't we just all get along??

It's been OVER TWENTY YEARS, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie was so dumb and slow was it ever slow. The only good part of the film was the girl in the tight shinny gold pants. There was no gore whatsover and what is a 80's horror movie without a little gore. Plus the killer wasn't at all scary nor were the murders. But if you like to watch the world's worst horror movie then this is for you. Don't waste your time like I did watching this.