Low Blow

Even for a cheap action film this was bad. Bad acting, bad writing, unrealistic action scenes. There was no plot, no story, and ridiculous dialogue. The action scenes looked laughably bad. This is a film to avoid.

I wouldn't be surprised if this movie was made on a $500 budget with its bad acting an ultra poor sound quality. I bought the DVD for $3.00, and after watching it I felt like I had payed $2.95 too much.

The DVD cover displays a steroid freak (main character), a huge truck and a group of 80's punk rockers with M16 machine guns. Well, in the actual movie, there was no truck, no 80's punks and the main character was far from a steroid freak.

The most enjoyable thing about this movie was the main character's bomb car and his mad parking techniques, but other than that it's a complete waste of time. Although this movie is a great cure for insomnia, my advice would be to avoid it.

This movie reeks of 1980s, straight-to-video action: zero budget special effects, "filler" action sequences and some utterly loony acting. It may sound bizarre, but those are also the very reasons why I enjoy this film so much.

In comparison the action movies of today, Low Blow seems positively wholesome. There is not much blood, no sex and the emphasis is more on fist fighting than high-tech weaponry. However, the film is never boring. The action is fairly constant and there are occasional touches of humour along the way.

Leo Fong plays private detective, Joe Wong. Joe is hired to find a missing rich girl, Karen. Karen not only has a very unattractive hairstyle but is also completely moronic, as evidenced by her falling in with one of the most ridiculous cults ever depicted on film - complete with a black sheet wearing blind guru and a crazy woman played by real life Ghanian princess Akosua Busia. Leo Fong's dead-pan delivery and no frills martial arts style suit his character perfectly. A special mention must be given to Akosua who turns in the most ludicrous performance of her career.

After having his butt kicked trying to infiltrate the compound, Joe realises that he needs assistance taking out the wackos and naturally enough, decides to hold a tough man contest to find some extra muscle. The scenes of the contest are some of my favourite in the movie. The fights are brief but varied and amusing. I particularly liked the wrestlers and the bizarre iron lady with the blond mullet. The film then comes to its rather predictable climax with some fun action and a good dose of humour.

Cameron Mitchell's career is varied to say the least. One minute he's Minessota Clay, next he's a crazed gangster in Medusa, or a cop in The Nightmare Never Ends. If it was possible to speak to him today, I'd set myself down next to him at a bar, slide him a beer and say "Hey Cam, what was the easiest gig you ever did?" Unfortunately he can't answer, but I'm sure he would have said: "Probably that martial arts film where I didn't even need to get out of a seat, wore sunglasses, mumbled a lot, and groped a young actress." That film would be Low Blow, an action film starring Mitchell (who was an ex-special forces bar man in Codename Vengeance), Leo Fong, with an appearance by Stack Pierce (of Pyshic Killer 'fame'). Fong is an ex-cop turned PI, who seems to spend his time dealing with endemic street crime in San Francisco. While he's out kicking the heads in of two bag snatchers, he's spotted and hired by businessman John Templeton, in order to rescue his daughter from a cheesy new age cult (led by Mitchell (who played a crap cop in The Demon), but run with an iron fist by his daughter/wife!). Mitchell (who was a slick businessman in Memorial Valley Massacre), who wears sunglasses, a hooded robe, and a star on his cheek, seems oblivious to all the armed guards and beating and rambles on about the meek and says 'Blessed' a lot.

Fong pays a visit to the cult's plantation and immediately gets into bother with hired goons hanging around the place. He ends up rescuing a dude but reckons he's gonna need back up to get the businessman's daughter back, and you know what that means, right? Correct: A fairly pointless fighting competition, complete with Stack Pierce, ninjas, and a strong woman. Gang assembled, they all head off for a final showdown at the plantation (which involves needlessly killing hired goons whom, up until that point, had hardly hurt anyone.

You won't get much in the way of gore in this film (except for the bit where Fong stamps his foot right through a guy's face!) as Low Blow is played more for laughs than anything. This is just as well, as some of the acting is dodgy to say the least (especially Fong's secretary). Mitchell as usual just falls into the roll smoothly (he always seems to be enjoying himself, which is why I enjoy most films he's in), put I wouldn't put this high up on your list of films to see. It's good enough, but no classic, that Low Brow film.

The bootless trio from the annoyingly haired 'Killpoint' is back : director Frank Harris, and 'stars' Leo Fong and Cameron Mitchell. A triumvirate of terrible. Harris in particular, should be ashamed of himself.

'Low Blow' isn't as sick, racist or downright nasty as 'Killpoint' - and that's it. It's just as amateur, vacant, irritating and soul-destroying in every other regard. Fong, despite slightly improved hair, drudges through this all-out dog's breakfast like a stop-motion clog.

A ridiculous, dozy cult led by Mitchell in a hood and sunglasses; and - the film's only plus-point - dishy but demented disciple, Akosua Busia, have kidnapped some girl and are brainwashing her on a farm. It's up to somnambulant Fong and a few bumpy grunts to rescue her.

All Fong films' selling point is chiefly the fact he knew Bruce Lee, but so did a lot of other people. I met Sir Michael Hordern once, but I don't go around doing Lear at the Old Vic.

You may ask - justifiably - why even watch this turnip ?

Good question.