Robôs Assassinos

Had all the boxes checked: cheesy dialogue, campy feel, bad acting, silly villain(s), gratuitous boob shot. It was just an entertaining 80 minutes. Please don't expect more out of that and I don't think you will.

In this insignificant but nevertheless fun 80's low-budgeter, the sex-hungry teenagers for once aren't chased around by a killer wearing a ridiculous mask but by a troop of malfunctioning and heavily armed security robots! Four couples that work in various stores at the Park Plaza shopping mall secretly throw an after hours party during the same night when a lightening storm completely disorientates the 3 brand new "Protector" robots and get killed off one by one. "Chopping Mall" (how can you not love that title?) is a lot of fun to watch and it's easily Jim Wynorski's best effort out of more than 60 directed films. Despite the fact that "Chopping Mall" doesn't take itself too seriously and mainly focuses on satire, there really are some tense moments and properly mounted suspense sequences. The laser head-explosion sequence is famous and there are multiple other cheese-highlights. But what is perhaps the most surprising, are the engaging acting performances and the welcome amount of tasteful nudity. The most familiar cute face in the cast is Barbara Crampton who stars as a screaming beauty in between her two greatest films "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond". Truly ingenious are the endless references towards Roger Corman's repertoire, especially illustrated through cameos of Paul Bartel, Dick Miller and Mary Woronov. Unquestionably, "Chopping Mall" is a righteous guilty pleasure of many, many horror fans.

I have watched the 1986 movie "Chopping Mall" once before, but must admit that I only vaguely remember it. And thus, as I had the opportunity to sit down and watch it again here in 2024, of course I did so, with no persuasion needed.

The storyline in "Chopping Mall" is unique, to say the least. Writers Jim Wynorski and Steve Mitchell, with the former writer also directing the movie, put together a rather distinctive and unique script, which included elements of many different types of movies, such as teen romance, teen comedy, sci-fi and horror. The end result is a little bit over the place, but that is sort of the charm of the movie that is "Chopping Mall".

There are some familiar faces on the cast list, with the likes of Barbara Crampton, Mary Woronov, Dick Miller, Angus Scrimm, Rodney Eastman and Gerrit Graham. It should be noted that the acting performances in "Chopping Mall" are good, especially if you enjoy the cheese of the 1980s.

The music in the movie is wonderful, especially if you enjoy the unique 1980s sound of synthesizers.

"Chopping Mall" actually has pretty good effects. The robotics were, and are still, actually not too shabby, whereas the laser effects are a bit dubious. But it all worked well in favor of the movie, adding a good layer of 1980s cheese to the entire package.

Keep in mind that before Robocop and ED-209 there were the Park Plaza Protectors 1, 2 and 3 in "Chopping Mall".

It is a campy movie, no doubt about it. And yeah, there is some guilty pleasure in viewing it, given the level of cheese the movie has to it.

My rating of director Jim Wynorski's 1986 movie "Chopping Mall" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Well, there is a whole lot of cheese in Chopping Mall. Remembering this movie from my childhood, I was compelled to rent it last night. Well, I am glad I did! Yeah, there isn't anything spectacular about the movie...There is a lot of Cheese (Automatic Rifles in a Mall?), but it still stands out as one of the better B-movies of the 80's.

The Robots are pretty decent looking. The acting is typical for the genre and timeframe. The head explosion scene is just classic.

I now feel compelled to track this down on Ebay, since I don't see an American DVD release anytime soon...

Rent it and just enjoy the actual quality to this b-movie. I don't mean the acting, but the scenery and the robots. The CGI is laughable...but, that is another topic...

7 out of 10

I caught this one really late at night back in 1995, and I must say, I enjoyed it. It went under it's other name, Killbots, during that showing, and with a name like that, you know it's going to be cheesy and stupid. Cheesy it is, stupid it ain't.

Forget the misleading title or cover art on the box, this movie is very entertaining if you like b-movies. I don't know why, but for once in a long while, especially in an 80's horror flick I was actually feeling for the characters. I can't explain why, but the acting and direction were both well done, and though it's more of a horror spoof than anything, it is quite a frightening concept. Though some of the deaths are stupid and the action scenes unrealistic, I couldn't help but see the similarities between this and Dawn of the Dead. I mean, these kids, once they figure out what's going on (and witness the famous head exloding scene) they wage war with the robots...I mean they break out a freaking arsenal and lay waste to these things (yeah, like Dawn of the Dead, what kind of mall would have firearms in it? I mean, one guy has an M-16 assault rifle!), though I can't remember them ever reloading once...it's all in good b-movie fun. The major complaints I have with this one is that, like I said before, some of the deaths are 'throw away', obvious and without style (most of the movie, they are running from cheesy 80's laser effects shooting all around them, but never hitting them...of course, when they do finally make contact, you never expect it), but it is still a good movie to watch on a boring friday night with friends and a couple cases of beer. I love the quote that the robots say every time that they dispatch one of the teens. It is simply priceless. Also, watch for Barabara Crampton of Re-Animator fame as one of the horny teenagers.

Overall not bad, and when I think of the title and what this movie is, I'm surprising myself in giving it a 8/10.