Transilvânia - Hotel do Outro Lado do Mundo

Two reporters (Ed Begley and Jeff Goldblum) travel to a strange castle in Transylvania to investigate the apparent reappearance of Frankenstein's monster...

One would think that with this cast (besides Begley and Goldblum, you have Jeffrey Jones, Geena Davis, Carol Kane and Michael Richards) it would be a non-stop fun romp through Transylvania. But, it really is not all that. While there are some decent jokes, most of them just fall flat or are never really properly explored.

Seeing a pre-Seinfeld Richards is a treat, with his antics being more along the lines of his role in "UHF" (the doofus with the childlike behavior). But although he may be the highlight of the film, he is not enough to carry the entire picture.

I feel like there was a lot of potential here and it was an idea that just never got fully cooked. But, you know, that happens.

Horror spoof that is probably best remembered as the film where Jeff Goldblum met his future ex-wife Geena Davis and vice versa.

Jeff plays a skeptical tabloid reporter who feels that he is not making any great contributions to the world of journalism who is forced to go on a wild goose chase for in Transylvania with hapless believer Ed Begley Jr. (also the son of their boss). Along the way, they encounter a number of oddballs who are not actual monsters but are really just downtrodden, misunderstood misfits. Among them is Geena Davis as a sex starved vampire wannabe. Geena fell for Ed, but Jeff walked away with her off camera.

Film takes a while to get going but briefly comes alive here and there when a pre-Seinfeld Michael Richards is on screen as a goofy hotel worker. The film also gets a good shot in the arm from Joseph Bologna as the mad scientist whose entire personality changes depending on whether or not he's in his lab. Geena does what she can and Jeff & Ed have their moments as the reporters.

"Good. Everything hurts." - Joe the mad scientist.

"If I didn't keep you chained up, no man in town would be safe!" - another good line from Joe the mad scientist.

This comedy has some tolerably funny stuff in it, surrounded by a lot of unfunny stuff. Just about every scene involving the servants of the castle and their silly antics is a waste of time. And the plotting is so sloppy that it makes you wonder if they actually had a script ready before they started filming this, or they were simply making it all up as they went along. (*1/2)

Transylvania 6-5000 is the movie that my siblings and I make inside jokes about and no one ever gets them. This movie is funny. The person that wrote the highly retentive review above is lacking a significant character trait necessary to positively judge such films: persistent immaturity. OK, his mother may be really proud of him. However, the ability to appreciate the validity of Transylvania 6-5000 is unique, and I am quite happy to admit that I am a fan. And believe it or not, I am not a weirdo movie buff who goes out of her way to "appreciate" stupid ass movies. Rather, I look to flicks such as the one in question to remind me so fondly of my 80s childhood. Stupid humor is remarkably cathartic, especially when nostalgia pervades, and that is why I love Transylvania 6-5000. Watch it and love it.

One liners make my life worth living.

Two tabloid reporters head to modern Transylvania - now a charming eastern European tourist trap - in pursuit of a story about monsters, and find the place over-run with vampires, mummies, werewolves etc. Ed Begley Jr. and Jeff Goldblum have good on-screen chemistry together as the luckless writers, but the script does them few favors. The tone of the movie is all over the place, aiming for wacky and scary by turns, but that sort of approach (familiar to Abbott and Costello fans) takes finesse that is not on display here. The production designers worked hard to create an attractive and convincing modern monster movie setting and mostly succeeded, but the script has a too-many-rewrites-by- committee feel and the material is very weak for the most part. Geena Davis has a very appealing bit as a beautiful vampire wannabe, but most of the supporting performances are not well fleshed out and are occasionally just absurd. Joseph Bologna, as always, chews the scenery outrageously as a mad scientist, plus Michael Richards is just annoying and unfunny as a clumsy bellhop. There are a few genuine laughs here and Davis' first appearance in vampire gear is worth a rewind, but most of the movie is just exasperatingly unfunny and tiresome. Avoid.