A Ultima Fortaleza

I endured this on a chartered bus trip from Bangkok to Surat Thani, in south Thailand. Southeast Asian tour buses catering to the backpacker crowd always play bad videos at deafening volume, and it seems some Thai tour operator thought this was what we would like--or maybe someone was trying to be funny. On this particular bus the air conditioner had broken down, so we also were hot, and cramped. So maybe it was just the circumstances that ruined the film for me, but I recall only bad acting and an incoherent plot, which had something to do with an American being held captive, and then somebody blew something up, and then a lot of things got blown up. I was stuck in my uncomfortable seat long enough that I began to identify with the captive, however, and in my misery I examined one actor very closely until it dawned on me--that's Steve Kanaly! Steve Kanaly is best known as Ray Ewing on Dallas, and he also bears an uncanny resemblance to my dad. Unfortunately this would have been lost on most of the others, as few of them were American and fewer still knew my dad. So I kept my thoughts to myself. Then we stopped at a little roadside restaurant and had beer and green curry, and I tried to forget.

I've never seen such a realistic movie about Vietnam! I've been in Vietnam for 6 months (1971) and I have to admit that, when I saw this film, I found myself back in Nam! I've seen many films and TV series about Vietnam but this is the absolutely BEST one! It shows you how the soldiers their realy felt and acted! I am proud to be a Charlie Ranger! God bless America, the US Army and my Stoner!

Yes, there is an "Eye Of The Eagle" THREE! Why?! Why?! Whyyyyy?! In the first "Eagle", the only thing that happened was when a random soldier said "You killed my brother!" and then started shooting his AK-47 for 90 minutes. Obviously this warranted TWO sequels. People were clamoring for more! In this installment of the "Eagle" trilogy, two divisions of gung-ho soldiers in 'Nam who look like David Arquette, Rob Schneider, Dick Butkus (Of "Hamburger: The Motion Picture fame), and Val Kilmer, plus token black guy Carl Franklin (who also co-wrote the movie) are shooting their sawed-off shotguns and digging latrine holes. When the Butkus lookalike gets thrown into a military prison, he is instantly replaced by a cocky and young hotshot who closely resembles Owen C. Wilson. Both "Cold Steel" and "Red Thor" divisions miss their mustachioed leader, because the new guy is an attention-seeking and vain meanie who also is a a bit crazy.

To take out their frustrations, they mindlessly shoot Vietcong who look like they are on Safari. The shootings and "blow-ups" take up most of the running time. There is little to no character development or plot, but somehow they managed to sneak in a subplot about their jailed commander where he tries to escape by talking to the guard named Kowalski (Frederick Bailey, who really stands out in this muck.) To continue the lookalike phenomenon of this movie, he closely resembles "Weird" Al.

As per usual in "Nam flicks, there is a scene where a buddy dies, and his comrade yells "NOOOOOOO!!!!" for a good 20 seconds. Not to be confused with the scene where the soldier sees a vision of himself dressed as a blue-skinned Indian and says in a very flat tone of voice "oh-no." The leader of the Vietcong has a British accent in the second half of the movie and always plays chess. He eventually knocks over the board in disgust and has slicked back hair in the jungle.

Skip the other two "Eagles" and go straight to "Eye of The Eagle 3". It may be boring and dumb at times, but it has silly moments that you can laugh at.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett For more insanity, check out: comeuppancereviews.com