- Ox: Knock, knock!
- Sergeant Moses Hightower: Who's there?
- Ox: Buu!
- Sergeant Moses Hightower: Buu, who?
- Ox: Quit crying! This will be over in a moment!
- [Hightower lets go of Ox]
- Sergeant Moses Hightower: Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line!
- [Hightower hits Ox and knocks him out]
- Sergeant Moses Hightower: [rapping] We believe you guys, so we wont dispute you. But if you're lying to us, we'll come back and shoot you. Word!
- Captain Harris: Proctor! You have been singing Christmas songs for the entire five hours of this stakeout. And Christmas is a good four months away. If you sing so much as one more note... I will shoot you.
- [Harris has just been hurt in a multi-car pile-up]
- Lt. Proctor: Sir...
- Captain Harris: Don't say it, Proctor!
- Lt. Proctor: But sir...
- Captain Harris: Don't say it!
- [Harris walks away]
- Lt. Proctor: Told him so.
- Captain Harris: [From a distance away] I heard that!
- Mayor: Hello, guys and gals! Oh, boy. I wish I had a picture of your stupid faces!
- Captain Harris: Mr. Mayor!
- Mayor: Hello, Harris, you stupid twit!