A Volta de Flesh Gordon

Alright, I'll be the first to admit that I didn't know what to expect from a title such as "Flesh Gordon".I knew there would be some pretty raunchy stuff in it, perhaps some slightly tasteful soft-core, but I wasn't expecting *this*.

FGMtC is one of those movies that you can tell immediately came from the '80s. Flesh himself sports a wicked mullet, and the outfits seem to be cast offs from the NY night clubs.

Why a rating of 8? Simple. This is one of those movies that is soooo bad, it has to be seen to be believed. The acting is atrocious, the settings are laughably 3rd rate, the dialog is hackneyed and spends most of the movie in the poor taste pile, and the special effects are bottom of the barrel. And those are the good points! I honestly almost wet myself laughing while watching this. If you dig movies like Plan 9 From Outer Space, but with tons of T 'n A, you'll get a kick out it.

If you've got any taste whatsoever, approach with caution.

The original Flesh Gordon was a silly, campy take off on Flash Gordon and his serial compatriots. Flesh 1 was sophomoric to be sure, but the humour did work and the film is very entertaining. Not so the long delayed sequel that I recently purchased on DVD. As soon as I find a store that buys used DVDs, I will unload this piece of garbage. The director claimed that "political correctness" is what held the film's release up. After veiwing it I feel that it was shelved for so long due to the fact that it stinks, big time! The comedy in Flesh 2 is in such bad taste that it is not funny at all, it's just gross and offensive. It's all down hill after a promising "film within a film" opening, which itself is ruined by the antics of "King Dong" (bet the screen writers spent hours coming upon with that one). Speaking of bad comedy, I have to mention the Turd people, yes, Turd people. I feel really sorry for the folks playing these characters. I doubt that they put this film on their resumes. Mr. Hanky it's not. And couldn't they have cast better looking women in the parts of the Cosmic Cheerleaders? The ladies on view in these roles are dogs! And one is supposed to be an ex Playmate. I guess Heffner is going blind in his old age. At least the girl playing Dale is attractive as are the ladies in the opening sequence. The new guy playing Flesh was obviously chosen for his body rather than acting skills, which are nill. Another major problem is that the film has no sense of pace whatsoever. Even thought it's fairly short at 100 minutes or so, the film really drags and after awhile you wonder if it will ever end. This is what they made fast forward for.

The only nice touch is the return of the guy who played Wang the Perverted in the first film. And that's it. Please do not waste your time or money on this peice of dreck. It simply is one of the worst.

Because I liked the special effects and stop-motion animation from the first film, I decided to check out the sequel. It contains stop-motion animation and special effects too but they pale beside the work done in the original. Several of the people who worked on the original were later Academy Award winners (such as Rick Baker and Dennis Muren) but the effects in this one are not as good and are few and far between. As far as porno films go, this one has less nudity in it than the original had. It's mostly crude toilet humor and bad acting. Dialogue scenes go one forever and the sound mix is so bad you can't understand what anyone is saying most of the time but since nothing said pertains to the plot (if there is one) then it doesn't matter. It starts out trying to create a 1930s atmosphere which is good but after that, it's a bunch of half naked people standing around talking. The first film is faster paced and better made and looks like STAR WARS compared to this.

Possessing a sense of humor that can be generously described as "infantile", performances so frantic they may give you a headache, and special effects that are mostly obvious miniatures, this abomination plumbs the depths of tastelessness and stupidity like few films you'll ever see. So it has a certain curiosity value. But neither that, nor the large amount of T&A, are justifiable excuses for any rating higher than....0.5 out of 4 stars.

This is so audacious it deserves some attention. Sure it is juvenile and cheesy. The problem of course is it somehow conflates excrement and sex, both in the story and the manner of telling the story. That ruins it: it is no "Barbarella."

But it has a framing worthy of "Orgazmo." It starts by being a cheap movie that the characters step out of. And then seamlessly they step back into it. What starts out as an aversion to boogers turns into a society of turds, a field of farts, an attack dick, a collection of pseudoscience revolving around erectile dysfunction (though the term didn't exist then) and submission rays. No mention of gleet.

That movie within a movie thing is pretty cool, especially when what you see is stupid. It gives an excuse, after all, you are not seeing the real movie, but the cheesy movie within. Worked great for an even cheesier production: "Robot Monster."

Ted's Evaluation -- 2 of 3: Has some interesting elements.