Viúva Drácula

When a film is titled "Dracula's Widow", and we see the title character seducing and killing a guy within the first 5 minutes, what's the point of having nearly half the running time taken up by a police investigation that can only eventually lead to what we already know from the start?

Also, I thought that getting bitten by a vampire wasn't enough to make you a vampire, you also had to drink blood from the vampire that bit you. Ah, never mind, it seems that every movie in this genre is making up its own rules.

Sylvia Kristel is pretty bland in a role that a better actress could have done MUCH more with, wears an awful wig, and doesn't provide any nudity either. The special effects are mostly terrible - when Kristel is in full-beast mode, she looks more like a werewolf than a vampire! The lovely Rachel Jones, as the hero's girlfriend, is one of the film's few bright spots. (*1/2)

Okay, since I retired I have a LOT of those idle hours, and I'm happy to find amusing moving-picture shows like this one to fill them.

That being said, what is with the incessant synthsizer/organ/whiney thingy playing EVERY SECOND of the movie?

Some scenes call for music, others don't. The music guy for this video never blinks his ping-pong eyes. His philosophy is "Hey, don't forget this is scary -- Hey, don't forget this is supposed to be scary -- Hey, Hey. Hey! HEY!"

My first six wives didn't make this much noise. Even during the disembowelments.

My advice: Turn the sound off, and turn on the captions.

Soft-core sex star Silvia Kristel plays Vanessa, Dracula's widow, who bites Hollywood wax museum owner Raymond (Lenny von Dohlen), making him her unwilling slave. Josef Sommer plays Lieutenant Hap Lannon, whose investigation into a series of brutal murders leads him to believe that a vampire is on the loose in tinseltown.

Call me crazy, but I actually prefer Christopher Coppola's Dracula's Widow over his uncle Francis Ford Coppola's 1992 version of Dracula: it might not be as technically polished or as star-studded as Francis's film, but it's more fun - a schlocky vampire yarn with wooden performances, hokey special effects, a smattering of nudity (although Kristel keep her clothes on for a change), some surprisingly graphic gore and an over-use of strong coloured lighting. It's trash, but it's entertaining trash.

6/10.

N. B. The greatest Coppola family vampire film is Vampire's Kiss (1988), starring Christopher's brother, Nicolas Cage - that one is wild. Cage also appeared in the 2023 vampire film Renfield, which isn't as great, but still worth a look.

I didn't expect a masterpiece in "Dracula's Widow" of 1989, but I was still somehow disappointed. Directed by Nicholas Cage's brother Christopher Coppola and starring 70s sex icon "Emanuelle" Sylvia Kristel, "Dracula's Widow" may not look like a promising Horror film as such, but at least I expected an entertaining sleaze and gorefest. My humble expectations were not reached, however, since the film features hardly any sleaze and the gore is existent, but not to an extent that would make the movie worthwhile. The performances are amateurish, of course, but that was to be expected, so I don't regard the lack of acting talent as a flaw. Nothing in the movie really makes any sense, and it is only the joy of seeing Sylvia Kristel as a lady vampire, as well as some pretty funny parts that make the 86 minutes endurable. My favorite character is an old antique dealer who happens to be Dr. Van Helsing's grandson. In the funniest part of the movie, the old fellow, who looks like a friendly grandpa, takes out a hammer in a morgue, driving a stake through a corpse's heart with the words "In the name of my grandfather, I destroy you". Moments like this (and Sylvia) make the movie bearable, but it is definitely quite tiresome, even though it's not even 90 minutes long. This was the first "Dracula" attempt by a Coppola family member, Christopher's famous (and usually brilliant) uncle Francis came along with a kitschy and over-hyped mainstream Dracula film in 1992. As far as I am concerned, the Coppolas would be well advised to keep their hands off the Prince Of Darkness in the future. "Dracula's Widow" is only recommended if you really have nothing better to do.

The young owner (Lenny Von Dohlen) of a waxworks in Hollywood receives six instead of five ordered chests with Romanian antiques. He does not know that Vanessa (Sylvia Kristel), widow of Count Dracula, sleeps in the sixth chest.

Why does this have such a terrible rank on IMDb? I have given it double, simply to spite those people who voted it so poorly. Seriously, people, this 1980s horror-comedy is worlds better than 99% of the films that come out today, and you still rank today's movies above a 5. Geez!

Sadly, Sylvia Kristel (who you may know from multiple Emmanuelle films) passed away recently (October 2012). She really tears it up in the titular role. But Lenny Von Dohlen is no slouch, either, adding the necessary comedy bits. (You hopefully know him from "Twin Peaks" -- and if not, you should.)