La dolce casa degli orrori

I had the misfortune of watching this movie with an English dub which is awful. If you can, watch it in Italian. But the dub itself couldn't completely ruin a good movie, except "La dolce casa degli orrori" or The Sweet House of Horrors" isn't a good movie. This is a weird mix of the usual horror offering from Fulci and a slightly comedic family movie. Except from some passable music, a few (un)intentionally funny moments and a nice idea, there isn't anything all that good about this movie. It's watchable, I can say that, but it's a far cry from an entertaining movie or a hidden gem and if you're not a most hardcore Lucio Fulci fan, there is no reason to watch it. 4/10!

A couple, Charles and Marcia, adopt two tragically orphaned children. The new family moves into the dead parents' beautiful old home and is haunted by strange sounds. Soon, the couple is forced to sell the place and take the kids away, but the house is dead against letting them leave. Learn the blood-curdling truth about the parents' deaths and the shocking secret behind the possessed "Sweet House of Horrors".

Direct by horror maestro Lucio Fulci, this one is really not good one, but you can check it out if you are a true Fulci's fun. About a two children which after they're parents are brutally murder have to go to fosters parents. Story is really not bad but somehow it doesn't work this time for Mr. Fulci.

Normally, I wouldn't expect anything from a made for TV Italian horror flick; but this one was directed by the great Lucio Fulci, and his first entry in the House tetralogy (a collaboration with Umberto Lenzi), House of Clocks, was a nice little film and so my expectations went up for this one. However, it has to be said that The Sweet House of Horrors is one of Fulci's very worst efforts, as the only really striking thing about it is a pair of irritating kids who, combined, rival the awful Giovanni Frezza in Fulci's House by the Cemetery for sheer irritation. The plot focuses on a house where a couple were murdered. However, it's not the end of the line for them as the dead people return to get revenge for their murder, protect their kids who are still living in the house, and to prevent the house from being sold. The way that the film plods out is almost completely devoid of interesting scenes, and strangely Fulci puts the focus on the kids and it makes the film seems almost childlike. The gore that Fulci is famous for only really appears in one sequence, and it's not even that good as it just feels out of place in the context of the film. Fulci made some brilliant horror films over his vast career; but this isn't one of them. Not recommended.

A couple is killed in an extremely sadistic way, but their souls return to their two orphaned children to caress them, to take revenge on the killer and to mock the relatives who want to sell the house and the one who wants to buy it respectively. Sounds odd for a Fulci movie, doesn't it?

And it really is kind of odd. It starts like a typical Fulci-gorefest with the murder scene which has to be seen to be believed, especially when one considers this one was made for TV. But after this unbelievably violent prologue, the whole thing turns into a fairy tale. There are even scenes that could come right out of a typical Italian slapstick comedy! So, "La Dolce Casa degli Orrori" is an extremely strange mix of genres, and most of the special effects are very cheesy, although the murder scene is outrageously disgusting.

It's not bad, but by far inferior to Fulci's other film in the four part TV-series Houses of Doom, "La Casa nel Tempo", which is terrific (the other two are by Umberto Lenzi and called "La Casa delle Anime Erranti" and "La Casa dei Sortilegi").

If you thought that Bob from The House By The Cemetery was the most annoying kid in Italian horror, wait until you see Mark (Giuliano Gensini) and Sarah (Ilary Blasi), the sickening siblings in The Sweet House of Horrors, a more irritating pair of brats it is hard to imagine. These kids attend the funeral of their murdered parents, but spend the whole time blowing bubbles with gum and giggling together. Their general lack of respect for adults continues throughout the film, the little darlings mocking an estate agent after he breaks his leg (chanting "Sausage is dying"), laughing hysterically when the same man scalds his hand, and generally being rude to their Aunt Marcia (Cinzia Monreale) and Uncle Carlo (Jean-Christophe Brétignière).

And it all starts off so well: in typical gory Fulci style, the kids' parents are bludgeoned to death after they disturb a burglar in their villa. The father has his head caved in against a marble pillar, his brains oozing from his skull, and the mother is hit over the head with a blunt object, causing her eyes to pop out of their sockets. Sadly, those who love Fulci's blood and guts approach to horror will be sorely disappointed by most of the rest of the film. Like many an Italian horror of the era, the plot for this supernatural made-for-TV movie makes very little sense, and the focus is on kiddie friendly scares rather than out and out splatter.

Unwilling to see their home sold, the spirits of the deceased parents appear to their children as floating flames. After the kids perform the traditional holiday ritual of the spirits (no, me neither) whilst wearing papier-mâché masks and candles on their fingers, they are finally reunited with mum and dad, who use their uncanny powers to ensure that the villa remains off the market. In the film's bonkers finalé, the ghosts stop the family home from being demolished by a mechanical digger (not a bulldozer, as one character calls it), Mark and Sarah find a pair of glowing rocks that they tuck into their pockets, and a medium screams in agony when he takes one of the stones and the flesh melts off his hand (causing the delightful kids to burst out laughing).

2.5/10, generously rounded up to 3 for the opening double murder, and the scene where a dog pushes the killer under the wheels of a lorry causing much damage to his torso. The worst horror film by Fulci, in my opinion, even more intolerable than Il fantasma di Sodoma.