Robowar - A Caminho do Inferno

Pretty terrible Italian mash-up of "Robocop" and "Predator." Reb Brown, best known for "Uncommon Valor," Conan knock-off "Yor: Hunter from the Future" and the hilariously awful 1970s made-for-TV Captain America movies plays Maj. Murphy Black, the Arnold "Predator" analogue, leading a commando group on a jungle mission, only to find themselves being hunted by a deadly cyborg. Checking the film's credits, "Robowar" was directed by Bruno Mattei, who specialized in cheapie Italian exploitation flicks, ranging from women in prison to nunsploitation to zombie to mondo documentary to cannibal to Nazisploitation films. However, Mattei has made a few enjoyable films, but the biggest tipoff this film is going to be a terrible movie is that the writers are the same folks who wrote and directed "Troll 2," which if you're not familiar is widely considered the worst film of all time (yes, even worse than "Plan 9 From Outer Space"). Unfortunately for "Robowar" it's not really a so-bad-it's-good kind of film as is "Troll 2" so you can't even be ironically entertained by it. You're best off skipping this one, though if you really need an Italian cyborg movie, watch Sergio Martino's "Hands of Steel" instead.

Ah, leave it to the directorial talent (or lack thereof) of Bruno Mattei to make me yearn for the Citizen Kane Reb Brown classics such as Space Mutiny or Yor the Hunter from the Future.

Think of this outing as a prolonged hike in the nature preserve. Reb is Murphy Black; the leader of commando group on a mission of...actually what WAS their mission(?) as it's evident that Reb himself wasn't even sure of. Heck, I don't even know if I'd let Reb lead me in a game of horseshoes let alone on a reconnaissance endeavor. No tears are shed on this journey as people are killed and you have no iota clue (or concern) about who they are or what purpose they serve except as bullet fodder. Thrill at the menacing Omega 1 (that reminds me to get multivitamins at GNC this week) as his state of the art pixelated kill-o-vision makes him...well, pretty lame. His 8 bit speech makes him sound like he contracted a form of Robot Tourettes. I can't be too angry with him as he helps to thin the herd thus providing a semblance of entertainment. Herr Mattei also had access to bio lab skeletons and you're bloody sure that he was going to use them!

All levity aside, many thanks to Smoke Manmuscle, I mean Reb for making this trial somewhat amusing. Whether it's his high shrilled helium-ated octaves of unforgettable lines such as 'Incoming, get out of here!' and 'Move out!' or his constant bickering with Mascher (less than Carl Weathers and more like Andy Richter's shady uncle), Murphy Black weathers the storm to the beat of a Casio laced soundtrack. Beware the true horror of Robowar: the cutoff shirt prone to exposing Rebbish midriff.

The horror...the horror....

Viewing this film on Japanese video, I can see why this film never made it to America. (I hear bootleg copies are now on sale, so be warned). There is some scenes that rip-off PREDATOR as Reb Brown and Catherine Hickland battle a mumbling robot that doesn't stop. Romano Puppo (aka Gus Stone) being in this film was a tip-off that this was another italian film. This is one of the last few films made before the italian action craze ended in the late 80's. It's a shame for Italy had lot to offer, but United States video companies stop picking them up.

From Italian trash director Bruno Mattei (Hell of the Living Dead) and writer Claudio Fragasso (who gave us the legendary Troll 2), Robowar is a blatant cash-in on the success of Predator, with a touch of Robocop for good measure. Reb Brown stars as Major Murphy Black, leader of a group of mercenaries with very silly (nick)names (Diddy Bop, Killzone, Blood, Papa Doc, Quang) who are sent on a mission about which they have very few details, but which sees them coming face-to-visor with a high-tech renegade humanoid killer robot called Omega One.

As the soldiers explore the jungle, encountering the charred corpses of victims of the malfunctioning machine, as well as groups of hostile guerrilla fighters, Mattei and Fragasso miss no opportunity to blatantly ape the aforementioned Schwarzenegger classic, with entire scenes and chunks of dialogue mimicked throughout (silliest moments: Brown throws his knife at an enemy and quips 'Don't move!', inadequately aping Arnie's 'Stick around' gag; Quang's utterly pointless sacrifice).

As with many a Mattei film, there are plenty of unintentional laughs to be had at the sheer goofiness on display: Reb Brown, in his blue, sleeveless, cropped T-shirt, who looks ready for a pride parade; the supposedly cutting-edge Omega One, equipped with low resolution pixelated visual sensors and a garbled Speak and Spell voice-box that Stephen Hawking would laugh at; the group of marines wasting countless rounds of ammo shooting at the jungle while screaming; and Quang referring to himself in third person.

Great film-making it most definitely isn't, but one can't help but be entertained just a little.

Robowar (1988)

* (out of 4)

Maj. Murphy Black (Reb Brown) leads a group of men into the jungles where they can't possibly imagine what is about to attack them. Inside the jungle is an alien creature who will slowly stalk and kill them.

Plagorism is one of the most serious crimes that a writer can commit and often times it will end their career or at least put a black cloud over it. For some reason filmmaker Bruno Mattei ripped off countless movies in his career. Often times he would not only rip-off plots but also entire sequences, lines of dialogue and much more. With that said, for some reason Mattei is still a "legend" in his own way as bad movie lovers flock to his films.

ROBOWAR is a rip-off of PREDATOR but it also rips on ROBOCOP. The alien here stalks the people in the jungle just like PREDATOR but his outfit is pure metal like ROBOCOP. I can understand how some people would watch movies like this and have a good time with their badness but sadly this film isn't in that "so bad it's good" range. Instead, ROBOWAR is just a really low-budget movie and a really bad one at that.

The performances, direction, editing, story and pretty much everything else are downright awful but that's to be expected. What's so bad about this movie is that it really doesn't reach a sleazy level as the violence is rather tame and there's not much blood or gore. In fact, just take a look at a sequence where a group of men are shot up with some large guns. The men are hit with countless bullets but not a drop of blood spills.

The action scenes are all rather stupid but the ending is nice in terms of explosions. As far as the alien goes, it looks incredibly silly and it almost looks like a futuristic version of the killer seen in THE NAILGUN MASSACRE. I'm sure some might find a few laughs in how bad the movie it but sadly it's too boring to be enjoyed.