Death by Dialogue

A friend of mine told me about Death by Dialogue about a year ago. I would have sworn he was trying to screw with me given his description of the film, however a few days later, he and I went to our local video store and there, resting proudly on the shelf, was Death by Dialogue. If I were to get technical, this is an awful movie, easily one of the worst ever made, however, I won't get technical. Despite it's movie-making flaws [which are blatently obvious to even the untrained eye] this is a film full of some of the cheesiest humour and corniest dialogue of all time. If you like bad horror movies, then Death by Dialogue is a must see.

Death By Dialogue. What a title. What an amazingly rubbish title. I am stunned that there are no alternative names that this film went out under. But, then again, this film is something else.

Synopsis: This film is about an evil film script. Its horrific contents come to life and terrorise a group of teenagers.

I have seen some rubbish in my time but this movie possesses moments of such stunningly memorable idiocy that I was somewhat taken aback. The very idea of a film script that is possessed by an evil spirit is hilariously silly. The script was for a film called 'Victims' and it was clearly written by a thirteen year old boy. The horrors that are unleashed by the script include a killer poodle-permed rock band, a seven-foot tall sword-wielding madman and two motor-cycle morons. I don't know about 'Victims', I would have thought that a better name would've been 'Eighties Cheese'.

This is one of those bad movies that contains moments of laugh-out-loud hilarity but also is hindered by atrocious pacing. Some scenes just go on and on and we do have to wait for the funny bits. But when those funny bits appear they are pretty much top-drawer, i.e. I challenge anyone not to laugh when the hair metal band pitches up in the woods. Too funny. At another time the protagonists decide that the best way to defeat the evil in the script would be to simply re-write it with happy stuff. Seems reasonable? Incredibly they mess up this very straightforward task by rewriting the script with one of the daftest non-escape plans ever conceived. In yet another random event – this film is a series of random events – we have a dream sequence involving a woman in a gown kneeling by a pool who meets an idiot in a racing car by a tree. Go figure.

It's all senseless and very haphazardly put together. But it's worth one viewing, if only to be stunned by it's monumental daftness. It does have moments of anti-genius. It's like a cross between The Evil Dead, The Edge of Hell and an episode of Scooby Doo. Although, much worse than all of those. Venture at your peril.

What a waste of time and celluloid. Production values were simply substandard even for a type movie. 1/3 in and I can barely stay focused, sub standard and sub par in every aspect.

A group of teens go to some house on the country, inhabited by a professor of sorts and his female companion, located next to an abandoned movie set. They find an ancient screenplay that seems to re-write itself, pretty much dictating how the teens will meet their demise. Now, the concept of a screenplay or book re-writing itself to cause supernatural deaths to occur, would probably make up for a highly imaginative & compelling story in the hands of someone like, let's say, Clive Barker. But in the hands of two-time writer/director Thomas Dewier & one-time writer Susan Trabue this movie ended up being the cinematic equivalent of a giant elephant turd with big chunks of indefinable substances in it, the likes of which even a specialized forensics expert would have a hard time determining what on earth this elephant might have eaten the previous night.

The good thing is that "Death By Dialogue" would be a perfect match in an '80s feature double bill with "Nightmare Weekend" for a mind-boggling viewing experience. Both films are ridiculously inept, wildly bonkers, amusingly imaginative and completely devoid of any sense & logic. Further more, they use every excuse possible to present us a wide variety of stupidly insane & gory killings and a fair amount of female nudity. Oh, the glorious lost cinematic wonders from the '80s. While "Nightmare Weekend" might eat the cake for being the superior total-loss inane horror smörgåsbord it is, "Death By Dialogue" tries incredibly hard to be the second runner-up. When we're strictly talking kills here, we have: Burned to a total crisp. Blown straight into the air while having sex. An inexplicable head explosion. Being sucked into the ground and pop up again all melted. In addition, we also have a bad hard rock band suddenly appearing in the woods out of nowhere and a barbaric demon villain with a giant sword and two henchmen on motorcycles. I did say this movie doesn't make the least bit of sense, did I? It also stars Ken Sagoes as "The Kid Who Survived Nightmare On Elm Street 3". Yes, producers saw this as the sole selling point to promote this horrifying piece of drivel.

"Death By Dialogue" is by no means a good slasher, in fact, it came out when the genre was going downhill.. Watch it just to have something to laugh about. I don't think someone can take this film seriously.

I won't even talk about the storyline as it's very BORING -not to say stupid-. The producers tried to make a bizarre sci-fi horror film but the result is a pooor slasher attempt. The highlight of the film is Ken Sagoes' major role in the film. I wonder why he didn't last long in the genre. The box features a demonic character surrounded by the 6 peak star... Definately a terrible film that didn't add something to the genre.

1/10