Mordida Mortal

UK title - The Bite. A young couple driving across the American Southwest are warned by a gasoline attendant not to take a short cut through a former military testing ground. Naturally they ignore hit advice and the guy ends up getting bitten by a snake. Over the course of the movie he slowly mutates into a gross half man half snake creature. The acting is pretty good and there are some interesting characters but at the end of the day The Bite is all about special effects. Screaming Mad George provided them here, and does a great job. However, most of these come near the end of the film, it is a bit of a slow burn until then. I watched this on VHS, it is a classic example of great sleeve artwork, which entices the viewing to watch the movie, but ultimately the end result is not quite so great. Does have a sufficient amount of Bite though to make it worthwhile.

The Curse part two?? The only thing this modest 80's horror production is cursed with is the burden of getting linked to another and entirely unrelated B-movie that just happens to be produced by the same greedy Italian (Ovidio G. Assonitis). "The Curse", a.k.a. "The Farm", is a poorly made and incredibly cheesy movie about a meteorite crash-landing on a farmland and subsequently mutating the crops and the inhabitants. It's a personal guilty pleasure of mine, but the majority of horror fans – clearly with a better taste in movies than me – dislike it and therefore are likely to avoid "The Bite" based of their prejudices. Not that this movie is an absolute must-see or anything, but it's simply unfair to promote something as a sequel when it tried to be original. No meteorites or infected crops in sight here, as "The Bite" revolves on genetically altered snakes and the disastrous effects their bite cause. Trying to reach Albuquerque via a short cut, hunky Clark and his cute girlfriend Lisa pass through an abandoned military zone in the middle of the desert. Not entirely abandoned, however, since the place is full of virulent and – more importantly – genetically altered snakes. One of the little buggers slithers into the jeep and sees its opportunity to bite Clark in the arm. From that moment on, "The Bite" becomes an absurd and laughable 80's cheesefest. Clark's arm gradually mutates into a ravenous snake-monster and the rest of his mind and body goes through some vast transformations as well. The film is somewhat oddly structured and contains a couple of twists with an extremely high "WTF"-level. For example, the script puts a lot of effort into a sub plot about an amateur medic (with a gigantic nose) chasing the young couple because he gave Clark a wrong antidote and fears a lawsuit. The guy even leads a communication network with deranged truckers! Then there's also a really peculiar twist involving a family of exaggeratedly religious freaks near the end. Weird… and quite boring often, too! Oh well, don't worry too much about the oddness, because the obvious elements to enjoy here are "Screaming" Mad George's engrossing special effects and the enchanting appearance of 80's beauty Jill Schoelen. Screaming Georgie's snakes are awesome and, even though the monstrous effects are not always convincing, this certainly isn't a film I would recommend to people with a phobia for slithering animals! Loads of icky stuff crawling out of people's mouths' and all, you know! The climax is completely unhinged. It looks and feels as if the producers had some extra money left and offered Screaming Mad George the opportunity to experiment and go really berserk with his special type of repulsive art.

Okay, I'm glad the only thing that this and the first film have in common is they both have scenes with REALLY REALLY REALLY religious people. While this one is a little better than the CURSE it is not a great film, it should have been titled something else, maybe then I could enjoy it more. Maybe just The Bite, or do that Hollywood thing and put THE BYTE! But then people may think it's about a computer!

On a scale of ONE to TEN the CURSE II:THE BITE gets a 5! Because it's the sequel of the movie with the guy from Stand By Me in it!

This movie gave me a nightmare that was plugged into my subconscious by the film's show-stopper climactic scene where the young "hero" at the center of the movie starts spewing live snakes out of his gullet while trying to crawl out of a drain pipe. In my nightmare I was working as some sort of a janitor in a food service establishment (scary already) and had to clean up a bathroom where a bunch of people had vomited after eating plates of teeming little snakes. It was more of a gross-out nightmare than one that was frightening so waking up and putting it behind me was easy, though it did take me a while to figure out where the idea of people vomiting snakes had come from. Then I remembered CURSE II: THE BITE, which is kind of an OK idea I guess, executed in a way that was sort of imaginative at times. It was nice seeing Jamie Farr wearing pants on my TV set for a change, lead actress Jill Schoelen was enjoyable and looked good in her underpants, Bo Svenson seemed to enjoy playing a beer swilling Southwestern sheriff walking a fine line between arrogant corruption and duty, there are some effective shock sequences (my favorite was the one where a woman doctor looses her lower jaw: OUCH THAT'S GOTTA HURT) and the film had a good sense of it's location in the Southwestern US and it's world of interstate highways, overpasses, cowboy bars and dusty back lots. It is a serviceable time-killer with some amusing special effects as the schnook in the lead transmogrifies into a gigantic fake looking snake, and may have been a dream come true for it's special effects technicians who looked like they got some milage out of material that otherwise would have been pretty routine. With plenty of Miller Lite, Meister Brau and 7-Up for all.

So the snake puking stuff is effective & evocative enough to trigger a nightmare, but the film did have one sequence that stopped the fun cold. I've been studying Snake Horror as a horror movie idiom for a while and one of the aspects about it is the very nature of exploitation at the heart & soul of the movies in question. Snakes do not attack, hunt or otherwise interact with people unless humans disturb them. Snakes also have an inescapable social function as sexual metaphors. There is of course the Adam & Eve connotations with the serpent as an embodiment of temptation or sin, tempting humans to revel in their natural tendency to have sex. Snakes are also the ultimate phallic symbol, being legless animals who's heads have a somewhat suggestive shape. It is difficult to use a snake in a movie -- especially a horror movie, since horror movies are sex movies in disguise -- and not deal with the sexual subtexts. This one does in a subtle but somewhat nauseating manner by suggesting that one of them crawled through Ms. Schoelen's unmentionables and deposited a glop of viscous green goop. Like, eww. She is also fresh out of the shower, still wet and wrapped in nary but a towel when the scene unfolds, reinforcing the perverse subtext of the scene with the snake a representation of the dark side of deviant human sexuality.

All well and fine, but the images that stopped the fun cold happen before that. First, during a road trip break scene the two leads pull over, the young lady retires behind a bush for a pit stop, and the schnook she is with has to use a rifle to blow away some kind of a snake that creeps up behind her. Telling the young lass to simply get up and walk away wouldn't make for a very effective horror scene and sadly it appears that the producers opted to have a technician either shoot or otherwise blow away an actual live specimen, an unfortunate but all-too common occurrence in the history of horror films. Nobody thought twice about killing a snake since they are legless squirmy inhuman creatures: Humans like things that have 2 or 4 legs and walk about while standing up. But the real problem comes in the following scene -- inexplicably described as "hilarious" by a reviewer somewhere else -- when the two leads run over what appeared to be hundreds of actual living snakes strewn about on a stretch of road.

I watched the scene in shock: Is this for real? If so it is one of the most barbaric sequences of animal cruelty yet unleashed, and following the links for producer/director Frederico Prosperi will lead one to a film called SAVAGE BEASTS, a 1978 "Nature Strikes Back" movie about zoo animals freaking out after PCP contaminates their drinking water, which used staged actual on-camera animal killings. Such behavior is beyond stupid, it is thoughtless, and a quality that many Italian made or produced films from the period have in common. Everyone knows about CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST and how inhuman it's animal killings are, how come nobody has protested CURSE II yet? I am more offended by how utterly stupid one would have to be to think it acceptable film-making, and the idea that people would not only be entertained by such but find it "hilarious". I have friends that keep snakes as pets & love them like they were kittens, I would not want any of them to see this movie because of that one sequence and am re-thinking my fascination with the idiom as a result of having seen it. If you have ever wondered why the movie is unavailable I would point to that as the prime reason why.

4/10: Stick to the dark sexuality next time, at least the snake might get something out of it also.

In CURSE II: THE BITE, Lisa and Clark (Jill Schoelen and J. Eddie Peck) just happen to be tooling along through a government testing site in the desert. Shockingly, there are rattlesnakes about. Even more shockingly, said serpents are radioactive! Of course, Clark is quickly bitten by one, which causes his hand to mutate.

As is the common result of radiated snakebites, Clark's arm turns into a murderous snake monster. The rest of Clark joins in on the ensuing mayhem.

This movie is a gore-drenched, semi-classic of utter absurdity. It exists in a universe where Jamie "Klinger" Farr is a gun-toting hero. Bo Svenson co-stars as the angry sheriff. Fans of Ms. Schoelen will enjoy her here, since her cuteness knows no bounds. Fans of Director Frederico Prosperi (aka: Fred Goodwin) need look no further, since this is his first and last directorial effort...