Prova de Fogo

A huge army of foreign terrorists from the far east have invaded

Mexico, with the help of a nuclear-powered tank nicknamed

"Thunderblast." Just who do we depend on to stop these communist

killers from goose-stepping into our country? Gary Busey, of

course!! The star of "The Buddy Holly Story" and "Silver Bullet"

plays Frank McBain, a magnum-toting cop who was once an employee

of the CIA who is recruited by his former superiors to stop the

terrorists before they manage to use their tank against our

defenses!

This movie is a real hoot, because for one thing, it has no need

for logic in the first place! This movie is probably supposed to

be a spoof of the "Rambo" films or something, and it does a damn

good job of it! Busey is cool in a maniacally goofy sort of way,

taunting the bad guys with the odd name of "butt-horn." Exactly,

what is a butt

I had such high hopes for this movie when I discovered it. Not only does it star my favorite actor of all time (Henry Silva), but it serves as the vehicle for Gary Busey's ill-fated and misguided debut as an action star! Unfortunately, I was pretty let down by the time the end credits rolled. The only redeeming aspect of this dated movie is the first half-hour, which is a pathetic attempt to mimic Lethal Weapon-styled buddy cop movies. Like many other action flicks starring big ego second-tier stars (Steven Seagal being our number one offender here), they really try to build up the main character as a devil-may-care indestructible ex-CIA supercop who all the bad guys know about. Notice during the ice cream truck chase when the villains have this exchange after they pound Busey's car with bullets:

Villain 1: I think we blew him off! Villain 2: You don't blow up a dude like McBain!

The story is pretty lame once it gets going. McBain is hired by the army to retrieve a tank named "Thunderblast" (!) that seems to be some armored afterbirth of the Reagan-era military buildup. Henry Silva's role is pretty wasted as a Libyan colonel who is working alongside the Commies. Aside from the hilariously bad first half hour and the introduction of the word "butthorn" into popular lexicon, Bulletproof is pretty much a waste of time.

Lame brain story and messily energetic plotting, but "Bulletproof" is so much fun… absurdly so. Forget the nonsensical narrative; watch it for the mayhem, explosions, gunfire and Gary Busey going about his business while calling his enemies a "butt-horn". Yes that's right, "Bird season's over butt-horn"! Dynamic and noisy from the get-go and what a way to introduce Busey's unstoppably grizzled character Frank "Bulleproof" McBain. Watch him remove bullets from his wounds and then add them to a jar. Hey its no action masterpiece and it predictably recycles itself, but this crackling rough b-action joint delivers the over-the-top goods and director Steve Carver (who directed two great Chuck Norris' ventures; "Eye for An Eye" & "Lone Wolf McQuade") just knows how to capably package it all up. Tough exchanges, sharp, if pulpy dialogues, grungy setting with cheap looking props (the rolling wheel scene involving great dummy work was side-splitting, so was Silva's reaction to it) and a frenetic pace that never lets up. Even there's time out for some heartfelt flashbacks; Busy and a saxophone. Simply smooth in presenting a broken man.

While the names and faces of familiarity do show up. How can you go wrong when you have Henry Silva, Juan Fernandez, William Smith and Rene Enriquez adding spice and maliciousness to their villainous roles. You got Cuban, Libyan and Russian terrorists all rolled into one. Talk about an aimless bunch though… I lost count how many times they had a chance to take out their man even with an onslaught of ammunition. Who to save the day; "Bulletproof" McBain with Busey's charisma on overload. His mission; make his way to an Mexican village near the Texan border to retrieve a stolen American top secret attack vehicle code named Thunderblast (truly a space-age looking piece of machinery), which is just as bulletproof as McBain. Silva cheerily hams it up, but it's Smith that packs the venom despite the short time he spends on screen. Typical textbook bad guys, doing the bad guy shtick. Also popping up is the beautifully impulsive Darlanne Fluegel whose character shares a past with "Bulletproof" McBain. L.Q Jones, R.G Armstrong, Luke Askew, Lincoln Kilpatrick and Mills Watson make up solid cast. In very small parts are genre favourites Danny Trejo and Cary -Hiroyuki Tagawa. Another interesting name to find itself attached to the credits; low-budget film-maker Fred Olen Ray put pen to paper to co-write the story.

"You might be bulletproof, but I'm just human".

Oh Lord, did I enjoy myself watching this film! Gary Busey plays a guy who apparently cannot be harmed by bullets, or by much of anything, although he's just some guy with no immortal powers. He falls off haylofts, gets chained to giant wheels and rolls down hills, runs a very comfy looking army tank, and plays the tenor saxophone. Too much goes on to list, but the world's greatest and most enigmatic insult, "butt-horn", is coined, making this easily the most important film of the century. I insist that you purchase it.

There's a fair amount of silly, ridiculous stuff in this movie, but unfortunately it's a lot slower than I remember. Gary Busey is basically the only thing noteworthy outside of a cameo by a very early Danny Trejo.

Highlights include Busey's character, McBain, fantasizing about a lost love and serenading her with diegetic porn sax on the beach, the repeated use of "butt horn" as an insult, and a particularly dumb escape sequence involving Busey tied to a wheel.

But there are long stretches of nothing between those moments. Every now and then you get a little something, like the guerilla commando with a scoped uzi (why???), but this is the sort of movie anyone could have made in their sleep for how much it's just extremely standard action stereotypes.

I have a feeling they ran out of money, too. A shootout signalling the start of the final act has decent pyrotechnics, but everything after that is so neutered you'd swear they cut down the violence for a PG rating. Except the version I saw also had a fair bit of nudity in the opening, and the movie still landed as an R. So I guess they just ran out of budget for squibs and explosives. Makes a lot of the last few encounters feel weirdly toothless when they cut away from what other movies would revel in.

But hey, it's not all bad. Though I hadn't seen it in a while, this is my third time watching it, and it's because it does have memorably stupid shenanigans in it. I just wish it had more.