O Garoto do Futuro 2

I saw the first "Teen Wolf" movie when it first came out on video. The fact that it's taken me more than twenty years to see the sequel should tell you what I thought of the first movie, even though I was in the target audience (teenagers) at the time. Well, guess what - this sequel manages to be even worse! It's a lazy sequel, for one thing following the basic plot of the first movie (Teen is a loser, teen finds out he can change into a werewolf, teen gets drunk with power, teen becomes a real jerk, teen realizes he's been a jerk, teen plays in sports tournament at climax intentionally not using his werewolf powers.) To make matters worse, this time around this plot moves at a snail's pace, with only sporadic attempts at humor (all of which crash to the ground.) Jason Bateman here is a bland presence, alternately being whiny or befuddled. The only good thing I can say about this movie is that unlike many other '80s comedies, this one isn't very dated in its fashions and other cultural touches.

And to think that people complained that Return of the Jedi was too much like Star Wars...

They obviously hadn't seen this movie, which is basically the exact plot of the original with different actors. Not even a token piece of originality.

This is cash-in sequeling at it's worst, equalled only by the likes of Grease 2. Avoid it, or you'll think you're watching the original with new voices dubbed over the top.

I am going to start out by admitting that even though I think the original Teen Wolf is a pretty stupid movie, I actually like it quite a bit. I don't know what it is about it that I like, but for the last couple of months I've found myself watching my copy of Teen Wolf about once a week.

I decided to purchase (you gotta OWN these titles, that's the fun of it.) a copy of Teen Wolf Too on eBay for $4. The only other time I had seen this movie was when I was in 4th grade, which was over a decade ago. I didn't remember much about it, save a couple of moments involving Chubby.

I just finished watching the movie for the first time in 11 years, and I can say with complete certainty that this is one of the worst movies I've seen in a LONG time. In many ways, this is the *perfect* bad sequel... The first film wasn't especially good or commercially successful, so it seems pointless to have even considered making another chapter in the Teen Wolf saga. They also weren't able to get the big star of the first movie (Michael J. Fox) to come back, so they instead focused on his cousin, whose personality is almost exactly the same. Even further, they decided to bring back a few of the characters from the first movie, only two of which are played by the same actors. Stiles, who was corny but funny in Teen Wolf, has been replaced by an actor who isn't nearly as convincing or amusing. Coach Finstock, who was the only genuinely funny character in the first film, is now played by a man whose line delivery made me laugh exactly zero times throughout the course of the film.

These discrepancies aside, the plot of this film is crap. It's basically exactly the same as the original, only even more sketchy. Anyone who hasn't seen Teen Wolf will probably not be able to make sense of the plot, not that any of them would actually watch this ridiculous film in its entirety.

I could probably write a fairly long essay on the problems with this movie, but I'm limited to 1000 words here. I would comment more on the many specific elements that make this movie stupid, but I don't want to waste more of anyone's time. And since I'm trying to keep you from wasting your time, then I will recommend that you do not watch this movie. Ever. Anyone who says that this movie is not that bad is wrong.

After a lifetime of watching movies and searching for the greatest moment in cinematic history, I've finally found it. Is it Orson Welles' breathless death-rattle of `. . . rosebud.' In Citizen Kane? No. How about Al Pacino giving Fredo the kiss of death in Godfather II? Try again. What about Peter Finch screaming into the Network camera `I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it ANYMORE!' . . . not even close.

Are you ready? Here it is: the greatest moment in contemporary motion picture history is . . . in Teen Wolf Too when Jason Bateman (as the Wolf) runs across the park, leaps through the air in slow motion, and comes down with a Frisbee in his mouth-all without losing that stupid hat he had on!

Oh, but this film is peppered with other fantastic gems. Like the part where the Wolf and Chubby where cruising around in the University Corvette (what, your school didn't have one?) and they almost ran that guy on the bike over and the Wolf just kept laughing and laughing--good times; or what about when Chubby was in the ring and he bounced the smaller guy into the ropes, put his hand on his hip, twirled his fist and knocked the kid out; ew! ew! ew! I know! What about when the Wolf was singing `Do You Love Me!' Remember? When he had that little suit on and he was strutting his choreographed stuff with the team of wannabe Solid Gold Dancers? Box office dynamite!

I don't remember a huge portion of this film, because the part of my brain that controls my higher cognitive functions shut down somewhere between the part where Chubby farts and Stiles sits in the smell and the part where the science teacher walks away from Gomez Addams with a tail wagging from under her skirt. Just thinking about it makes my lobes tingle and go numb.

If there was one thing worse than the moron who played Stiles in Teen Wolf, it has got to be the guy that played Stiles in Teen Wolf Too. Oh my God that guy was horrible. The only highlight of this movie was when Stiles gets punched-out in between rounds of the big climactic fight scene-I like it because I've convinced myself that it was an outtake and he REALLY got hit. Take THAT Stuart Fratkin! What was he thinking? `Yeah, I landed a SWEET gig on Teen Wolf Too-I'm STILES! Just the springboard my career needs!' Yeah, look out DeNiro, here comes Stuart Fratkin.

My buddy Marc brought this movie over to my house and I'm not sure what to think. This is the same friend that exposed me to Pumpkinhead 2. The only thing I can figure is that he is one of many alien infiltrators sent to Earth to use bad movies to brainwash people into a zombie-like trance, making way for an alien take over. To those in a similar circumstance, I say RESIST! You're not taking my soul with Teen Wolf Too, Marc! I'm on to you fella!

Although he is Scott's cousin, Todd Howard has managed to dodge the "family problem" and is a perfectly normal young man starting a promising college career. Despite being very weedy and interested in becoming a vet, Todd has managed to get a sports scholarship without being sure why. Turns out that the Dean has assumed that Todd can do for the college boxing team what Scott did for his high school basketball team what with him being a werewolf and everything. Todd discovers this quickly and is keen to disappoint but his genes betray him as the "family problem" manifests itself suddenly. Overnight Todd is a star in the ring and on the campus – but can he manage this sudden change?

When I read overly negative reviews of the first Teen Wolf film I can only silently shake my head and wonder what the same viewer makes of the sequel. I say this because, as basic as the original film is, Teen Wolf Too/Two/2/whatever is like the makers condensed the original film to the basics and then just put that out on as little money, time and effort as possible. It shows in all areas of the film but I have to start somewhere so I will do so with the actual story. The flow of it is this (a) studious kid doesn't really fit into school/college, (b) kid becomes werewolf, (c) kid becomes popular but also a major a**hole, (d) kid learns life lesson. OK, so you can see it is essentially the same film as the first time, with the sport and setting different. In terms of the telling of the story though, we literally jump between these parts without any gradual development between them. I'm not saying it needed a lot of complexity but maybe just one or two scenes bridging the gap between the elements – instead it will literally have 1 scene of him becoming a werewolf for the first time, then the next scene is him popular and doing a 50's twist (for some reason) at a party – not even a bridge which shows him winning over an initially hesitant campus. This is the same across the whole film and it makes it weaker as a film – a problem considering it would still have not been great with these scenes.

This slapdash approach is reflected in the whole film and it is no surprise that the script is poor. The dialogue matches the "good enough" approach to the narrative – ie lines are clunky, obvious and lacking anything that would make you care enough to listen. However, producing even this level of trash was clearly too much for the writers because they appear to have been too busy to get laughs, fun or energy into the script. Visually it looks cheap. The sets are faded and unconvincing while the aim appears to have been to try and pull off "crowd" scenes with as few extras as possible. The wolf makeup is also really bad – never great of course but in Too it looks like a mask purchased at a corner store.

With all this it is no surprise that the cast can do nothing with it. I feel sorry for Bateman but he is poor here and cannot do anything with the material handed to him. He has almost zero chemistry with Chandler as well – again neither of them helped by the material having no bridge between "oh hi" and "you are the love of my life". Astin must have hoped for more but, even though he has a glint in his eyes that suggests a fun role in the film, he does nothing and has nothing to do. Fratkin and Holton are both annoying and deliver nothing in the way of laughs that the writers clearly just assumed they would do on their own (wackiy guy and fat guy – practically writes itself.....errr, no, no it doesn't).

The end product is not so much a terrible film in that everything was misjudged but rather a terrible film because nobody seems to have given a single, flying f**k about it from conception to final delivery. The plot is the same as the first film but yet so much worse and basic, with similar dialogue. The "feel" of the film is likewise cheap and "make-do" and it is no surprise that nobody in the cast can do much of anything with the whole affair. The only value the sequel has is making the first Teen Wolf film seem more fresh and filled with fun that it was.