Adão e Eva: A Primeira História de Amor

Yes, as the old song goes..."the stuff that your libel to read in the bible, it ain't necessarily so.." And at the start of the movie we find Adam, kind of a dufus actually, just wandering around alone in the Garden of Eden. One day he gets bored and forms a woman's body out of sand and, as it starts to rain, Adam gets on top of the sand. I was thinking', "Adam, what are you doin' on top of that sand??" But then the rain turns the sand into Eve. Both of them are in paradise, so they ain't wearing any clothes. Life is sort of just lovey-dovey, the leopards are friends with the birds...you know, paradise.

Then, after their 1,000th time of watching a sunset after making love, Eve starts to get bored. wants a change, so she eats the forbidden fruit. She gets Adam to eat it too. Women! Always lead to fall of a good man, cause that's the way god planned it. After that life gets tough. Adam has to learn to kill animals and stuff. But this is the way things really went down 6,000 years ago. You don't have to read a book to learn history, just watch the movie.

This is a stomach-churner and disconcerting film about two teens in the Garden of Eden. God casts Adam (Mark Gregory) and Eve (film debut and only one by beauty Andrea Goldman) out of the Paradise because Eve decided to eat a forbidden apple that a talking snake, really the demon, told her to eat. The disgraced couple find themselves fighting a lot of various prehistorical creatures and ruthless savages. After getting into an argument about how to get to the ocean, Adam and Eve part ways. She ends up running across a tribe of peaceful vegetable eaters who paint themselves green, taking a particular liking to one of them (Ángel Alcázar) she dubs "Green Man." The two hit it off, have sex and then Adam stumbles upon them, that's why jealousy emerges when he's watching them together by his favorite waterfall.

The beginning of the film follows more or less faithfully the narratives of Genesis with Adam and Eve, the Tree of Life, the Serpent that is the devil, Mortal Sin and their damnation. However, later , the film goes on other paths without following the Biblical canon. Thus our protagonists Adam and Eve begin a long journey through the world encountering many dangers, gathering primitive tribes, cavemen, fighting bloody enemies, a giant bear, Cannibals and even taking place an amazing sea birth. It is nothing more than a thinly disguised excuse for adult audiences to be able ogle underage teenage flesh and pretend like they're watching an adventure movie in the process. This "Adamo ed Eva, la prima storia d'amore" (1983) results to be a partial reboot to the American films: "Blue Lagoon" (1981) and "Paradise" (1982), in addition rips-off "Jean-Jacques Annaud's Quest for Fire¨. An inferior weakly narrated film, silly incidents with disconnected scenes and not much sense. This one really doesn't want to make us feel guilty about it by having the religious angle, but it begins out being the same old thinly-disguised smut all the same. However, the production design is pretty good and the photography is decent with a lot of gorgeous exteriors, attractive landscapes from Spanish Mediterranean coast, Canary Islands, and Italy including mountains, forests, seashore, waterfalls, strings and snowy landscapes, though also contains some stock footage. There is even the Grand Canyon of the Colorado, which seems a bit strange since this is a low budget film and they had to travel to the United States. Or it could be that the protagonist, Mark Gregory, was already in America while he was shooting the trilogy ¨Thunder¨ that was made there and they took the opportunity to shoot some scenes in which Gregory was looking at the spectacular Grand Canyon. Stars Marg Gregory, a B-actor who has a minor cult in certain circles. An avid motorcyclist and expertly trained Greco-Roman school wrestler, Gregory worked in a shoe shop before being "discovered" in a gym in Rome. He was 17 when he played Trash in 1990: "The Bronx Warriors", as he signed an exclusive 3 picture deal with Deaf International Film Company after his selection for "1990: The Bronx Warriors", following: "Escape from the Bronx" , "Thunder", "Thunder Warrior 2", "Thunder Warrior III", "Delta Force Commando", "Missione finale", "Just a Damned Soldier" or "Maledetto Soldato" and his last film: "War Bus II". Nevertheless, he died penniless while living the life of a recluse in Castel Madama, just outside of Rome; and allegedly committed suicide himself in 2013, at 48, then the city provided a cross for his grave, as he did not have the means for a proper burial.

The film was lousily directed by Enzo Doria and Luigi Russo. They were two prolific writers/producers/directors who made all kinds of usual genres in the Sixties and Seventies: Spaghetti Western, Terror, sex comedy, adventures, Erotic , Giallo, such as "I cannibali, Who saw her die ?, Lucrezia giovane, Lezioni private, Last Angels, The Shark Hunter, Return of Clint the loner, Morbosita" , and even they shot a similar film to ¨Adam and Eve la prima storia d'amore¨ titled ¨Blue Island¨ with Sabrina Siani. Rating. 4/10. Below average.

Adam and Eve (1983)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

God creates Adam (Mark Gregory) and then graces him with Eve (Andrea Goldman) but before long they are cast out of the Garden of Eden after Eve eats from the forbidden fruit. Soon the two are out on a crazy adventure that leads them through some dangerous places.

This here was released to American video shelves as ADAM AND EVE MEET THE CANNIBALS so that there should pretty much tell you everything you need to know. This here is 100% pure Italian exploitation and it's just a downright mind-numbing movie from start to finish. It's basically a version of THE BLUE LAGOON but we've got the story of Adam and Eve to tell but I seriously doubt the filmmakers were overly familiar with the Bible!

If you're wanting something to show the kiddies then this here certainly isn't that. No, this here is pure exploitation and it's downright hilarious at times. There are so many crazy things going on in this picture that it would be wrong for me to spoil all of them but if you're familiar with the genre then you already know that bad special effects don't stop them from making a movie. Just wait until you see the scene where a giant big attacks Adam and he has to fight it off. Even better is a beyond awful sequence where Eve is attacked by a bear and Adam and another man has to rescue her. The look of this bear is so crazy that you'll be wondering if someone slipped acid into your drink!

As you'd expect, we've got some really lame performances and the dubbing is pretty bad as well but there's really not too much dialogue. Instead we basically just see these two lovers go from one destination to the next and of course there's always some sort of drama. And yes, there are cannibals, ape creatures and a variety of other weird things on hand. The opening creation scene of Adam was actually well-done as was Eve's birth but on the whole there's really not much of anything "good" here.

Fans of bad cinema are really going to love watching this. It's certainly one of the craziest movies out there and as awful as it is, the thing always has something happening in it and it's certainly never boring. A must see for fans of Italian exploitation.

There are no carnivores in Eden, and Adam's (Mark Gregory) first son may very well have really been the offspring of Handsome Bearkiller (Angel Alcazar), a brief extramarital partner enjoyed by Eve (Andrea Goldman) during the pair's estrangement. Never having seen fighting or killing, the two are totally unprepared to defend themselves after being cast from Eden, and equally astonished to see animals and men feeding off each other. They make their first clothing not from leaves, but from a pterodactyl's wings, the first creature to attack them and the first creature they had to kill. These are some of the interesting "facts" depicted by this imaginative take on the first book of Genesis. It's not as silly as it sounds, the acting and action are really quite good and the different twists to the familiar tale will hold viewer interest while still retaining the Biblical link. The aforementioned Cro-Magnon warrior bearkiller (Angel Alcazar) really steals the show with his valiant ferocity and desire to appropriate the rather helpless Eve from her wimpy inept Adam.

Probably the only reason this title caught your eye is that it stars Mark Gregory from 1990: The Bronx Warriors and Escape from the Bronx. This is his first film after Bronx Warriors and boy is it strange. Both directors of Adam & Eve also co-directed the Blue Lagoon rip-off "Blue Island" a year prior, and this film similarly attempts to capitalize on that as well as 1981's Quest for Fire. Although the Italians did exploit a number of genres in the early 80s, this is an extremely small sub-genre unlike the fantasy and sci-fi rip-offs that were more ubiquitous.

Adam & Eve shares much of the same sensibilities as any other Italian exploitation film of that era. There's some skin, there's some sex, some (minor) gore, a fantasy setting, extremely cheap (but charming) production values.

Surprisingly, this film is really not all that bad. The locations they shot the film are absolutely gorgeous which really set the film apart visually from other genre films of that era. The story of Adam & Eve (from the Bible) is well known and the plot of the film incorporates it surprisingly competently. Once cast out from the Garden, the plot involves encounters with what is best described as a tribe of cavemen and then a violent encounter with savages. Oh, there is the bear scene, and it is gloriously bad...I'm talking worse than Yor. Unfortunately the bear scene is short, but by God, if you like 80s Italian exploitation I guarantee you will never forget it.

I found this little known film on Amazon Prime streaming in a very nice 16:9 print. Personally, I loved the film--but I am a MAJOR fan of Psychotronic film in general and Italian exploitation films from that era in particular. Although most viewers will find films like this laughable and worthy of mocking, I really appreciate them as akin to pulp entertainment. Only folks who share my sensibilities are likely to enjoy this movie--all others should seek out the films it rips off (Blue Lagoon & Quest for Fire).