Ten Violent Women

Flabbergasting is the word for this mighty entry in the canon of Ted V. Mikels, the Grade Z journeyman of 30-plus years of schlock. His films are so terrible, and not necessarily in an endearing kind of way, that you don't know whether to deify or damn the man for persistently, self-reliantly, churning out such endless truffle... his way or no way. Perhaps Mikels is the last of the true independents...

Anyway, this amusing piece of tedium concerns the exploits of some high-kicking gals (and there are eight, not ten, by the way) who, after they get even with some pervert slob at their job in a mine (in a real "Huh?" of an opening), decide to have some more adventure by plotting an intricate heist of a jewelry store and then rip off a "fence", which proves to be their undoing. As the picture lumbers along, the number of women in this club begin to dwindle. Finally, there are two left, who get sent to a tough women's prison (actually, a boiler room, but never mind) where they become at odds with a stereotypical butch lesbian warden (who probably has an 8mm copy of SEVEN BEAUTIES in her desk), and plot to escape.

I have not mentioned the names, nor any distinguishing traits of the girls. So -uh- "impressionistic" is this "uncompromising testament of women getting even in a male-dominated society" full of "dramatic irony" when they meet their retribution in the form of a woman (who is actually more male)... oh to hell with it. There is zero characterization; faint names are dropped here and there, but good luck matching them to the proper girl. In fact, the solely solid character in the entire piece is director Mikels himself, ironically, in his wonderful cameo as the fence whom the too-confident female mob attempts to rob.

But otherwise, this is yet another Ted Mikels home movie that actually got sold for release (if perhaps only on home video). The best attempts at artistry are the Neo-Realistic prison love scenes, which are so simply because they had no lights! That scene alone accounts for the dreariness that pervades this picture. The elusive tone of 10 VIOLENT WOMEN is interesting-- although it attempts to appease the R-rated audience with sex and violence, the movie is actually quite juvenile in its approach.

The completists of the wide wonderful world of Grade Z cinema will probably want to check this film out anyway. (Why else did I sit through Larry Buchanan's MISTRESS OF THE APES?) But for the sane viewer, their Ted Mikels fix will be abetted with THE DOLL SQUAD instead.

There's something liberating about watching a movie with many scenes so dark you can't tell what's happening. You get to make up your own movie. And brother let me tell you no matter how terrible your idea is, it's miles better than this trash. It's not all dark though. There are dimly lit scenes where you can tell what's going on. Savor these moments. Memorize each person's clothing as that will be the only way you can tell them apart when the darkness returns. The most well-lit scenes take place outside. Perhaps the sun should receive a lighting credit. As with every Ted Mikels movie, there's a little bit of cheesecake. But unless you're really hard up its nothing to get hot & bothered over. Avoid this crapper.

TEN VIOLENT WOMEN is a film that starts off as an all-female action movie before turning into a women-in-prison flick around the halfway mark. Whichever way you look at it, it's an awful film, which seems to be the norm for cult director Ted V. Mikels whose terrible BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE-DEVILS I had the misfortune to sit through just last week. It's poorly shot throughout on cheap-looking cameras which shoot footage that is far too dark for the most part.

In any case, TEN VIOLENT WOMEN is an inane film with little plot and some truly terrible acting to behold. A group of women go around committing various robberies and the like before they're busted and sent to a sleazy prison. At this point all of the prison film clichés come out, like the cat fights, the butch guards, and the sadistic warden. Mikels throws a handful of grubby underwear and later topless scenes into his film in a bid to draw in the exploitation crowd, but as with BLOOD ORGY, this is surprisingly tame viewing. It's also a rubbish film with practically no redeeming values whatsoever.

In the history of cinema, you'd have a tough time thinking of a worse filmmaker than Ted Mikels. Although Ed Wood Jr. has gotten a lot of attention by creating abominable (yet sadly funny) films like "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Glen or Glenda", Mikels' record of schlock films is far more impressive (is that the right word?)--with such notable crap films as "The Corpse Grinders", "The Worm Eaters", "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things", "The Astro-Zombies", "Girl in the Gold Boots" (currently on IMDb's Bottom 100 list) and "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice" to his credit (or, discredit). And, this list is only a smattering of the sort of crap Mikels has created and continues to create to this day.

Oddly, however, although I admit that his films are horrible in every way, I make it a point to watch them whenever I can. This is because I am a glutton for punishment and occasionally like laughing at an inept and stupid film. Some of this is because I often watch and review art films, foreign movies and the like--and sometimes I just need a break (especially since some of these can be depressing or pretentious). And, Mikels films are sure a far cry from the norm!!! Eight lady miners (who look NOTHING like miners) decide that this sort of work isn't for them, so they decide to devote themselves to a life of crime. However, things don't go well and they are sent to prison--where there is, naturally, a sadistic girl-lovin' guard in charge (a standard cliché for bad movie makers during the 70s and early 80s). What happens next is for you to discover for yourself....if you can stomach it!

Like any of Mikels' masterpieces, this one features bad acting, an annoying and very invasive soundtrack, inept direction and nothing to recommend it. Unlike some of Mikels' earlier films, this one has a bit of nudity and rough language but unlike his most recent films, it at least appears to have been filmed with a real movie camera (he's taken to using what looks like an iPhone or super-cheap home movie camera for his more recent films). And, unless you like terrible films, there's nothing to recommend this one...nothing. A wonderful example of how bad Mikels can be but not a particularly fun movie to watch.

By the way, I actually found one Mikels film that was, inexplicably, pretty good. One of his earliest films, "Black Klansman", is actually well done and make you wonder how Mikels' films got progressively worse instead of progressively better!

A troupe of young ladies get fed up with their jobs and a moronic, grunting-pig co-worker, and decide to embark on a life of crime. Pulling off the theft of roughly $1,000,000 worth of jewels, they turn to a fence to try to get rid of the gems. But he insists on a trade instead of a cash deal, and they end up with a few bags worth of heroin. Later, the leader of the gang drunkenly tries to unload the drugs - but the buyers turn out to be undercover cops! Thus, the whole gang ends up in stir, where after repeated abuse from the head guard (Georgia Morgan), they plot an escape.

"Ten Violent Women" is one of those trash films that tries to have it both ways, acting as both exploitation and female empowerment. It runs through its paces adequately, but is of no distinction. Making up for the lack of finesse displayed by filmmaker Ted V. Mikels is a largely female cast who deliver enthusiastic (if not particularly competent) performances. The antagonists are especially noteworthy, with Morgan as the kind of authority figure who lusts after some of her inmates and is willing to do favors provided the inmates accommodate her. Also amusing is the very butch Jane Farnsworth as a Bible-thumping guard. Mikels himself appears on screen in a brief supporting role as the sleazy fence, whose comeuppance involves being stomped to death. Sally Alice Gamble is a hoot as the fierce but none-too-bright Sheila, the aforementioned chief instigator.

Exceedingly silly, with dopey chapter headings ("The Chase Begins....."), a sheik character who wants to get back his precious scarab, overbearing stock music, poor lighting, a dearth of true nudity, and so-so pacing. But the bottom line is that if you just can't get enough of female crime flicks, or women in prison features, you may be forgiving of the flaws with this thing.

Five out of 10.