Problemas Modernos

"Modern Problems" was one of those movies that got a lot of play on HBO when I was a kid in the early 80s, and since I was a big Chevy Chase fan at the time, I watched it over and over again. Nearly 30 years later, the film had all but faded from my memory except for a few random bits so when it turned up on Fox Movie Channel over the weekend I decided to give it a shot.

90 minutes later I'm sitting here thinking to myself "Wow, this was pretty bad wasn't it?", and I'm not sure if the film hadn't aged well, or if it simply wasn't a very good film to begin with. All I can say is that I remember enjoying it a heck of a lot more as an easier-to-impress 12 year old.

Chase plays Max, a stressed out Air Traffic Controller who's got serious relationship problems. He's recently broken up with his live-in girlfriend, and his ex-wife (Mary Kay Place), whom he apparently has kept a friendly relationship with, is now "schtupping" (that's an exact quote) an old friend of his from high school (Brian Doyle-Murray, aka Bill's brother). As if that weren't enough, a chance meeting with a leaky Nuclear Waste truck on the highway one night splatters him with radioactive goo, and he wakes up the next morning with telekinetic powers.

You'd think that this would be a license to do a totally go-for-broke slapstick comedy but oddly enough very little is made of Max's newfound abilities till the film is almost over. Chase isn't his usual wild-and-wacky self either, preferring to mope around mooning over his girlfriend (Patti D'Arbanville). Eventually the dysfunctional foursome (Chase, D'arbanville, Doyle-Murray, and Place) go off to Murray's beach house to spend the weekend, joined by one of Murray's clients, an insufferable self-help author played by Dabney Coleman. Coleman is the funniest thing in the film, as his constant jabs and insults finally poke Chase's character into a full on telekinetic meltdown that can only be stopped by a voodoo ritual (?) performed by Murray's Haitian housekeeper (Nell Carter).

"Modern Problems" tries to be quirky and wacky but spends most of the film falling flat on its face. It's got a decent cast and an interesting premise, but its greatest sin is that it casts a gifted comic like Chase and then tells him to be morose and unfunny for much of the run time (till he finally explodes towards the end).

There are a few good bits (Chase using his power to give a guy a massive nosebleed in the middle of a swanky restaurant is a highlight, as is the entire "voodoo" scene) but otherwise "Modern Problems" isn't very "modern" anymore. Easily skippable even for hardcore Chevy Chase fans.

MODERN PROBLEMS is one of those films that is ALWAYS on cable -- and yet no one would ever want to watch in its entirety. Blame Comedy Central. Probably Chevy Chase at his lowest. Although his career has had so many low points, it's hard to say. He must be a masochist who deliberately chooses godawful movies to destroy his career. Or he's a sadist who enjoys inflicting these turkeys on the rest of us. Don't listen to anyone who claims, "Actually, it's not that bad;" they didn't actually sit through it.

Being a Chevy Chase fan I might cut this one a little more slack, but even so there's no denying there's more cold side-effects than are hot ones in this early, but quite minor leading Chase vehicle (which two years later the very successful and iconic 'Vacation' would follow).

Coming from the feature is a cruel, rude and mean-spirited vibe (which was done better in Martin Scorsese's 1985 dark comedy 'After Hours') that sees Chase in quite a dreary cloud of sappiness and finding himself in one degrading mishap after another and to cap it off his girlfriend has just left him because of his clingy nature. One night while driving his car behind a truck, the context in the tanker (nuclear waste) ends up on him giving the abilities of telekinesis and a nice green glow. He then begins use this power in ridding any sort of obstacles that get in the way of reuniting with his ex-girlfriend (which is beautifully played by Patti D'Arbanville).

With a better script (which includes plenty of sexual innuendo), it could have been so much more, but while the cast (featuring Dabney Coleman, Nell Carter, Mary Kay Place and Brian Doyle-Murray) do the best. The one-joke script lets them down. The humour is mainly off the mark, as it never rises above the superfluous material and characters are not particularly engaging (especially Chase's loathsome character). It's a story were the humour contributes, rather than just being there for the sake of it, however it's a awkward mess of staged ideas and plastered visual gags. The special effects are modest, pacing is flat, style seems bland and the film looks quite murky. There's a real lack of passion, but director Ken Shapiro is saved by a few amusing (brisk, but enjoyable) comedic inclusions. But in the end these peculiar touches just weren't enough.

Far from a laugh-riot with a little too much dead space, but 'Modern Problems' remains barely a passable throwaway.

First of all, it is worth nothing that director Ken Shapiro seemingly hasn't been employed since this near-catastrophe was released in 1981. It's pretty safe to say that's a bad sign. Secondly, even a stellar cast cannot make a movie very good (what I like to call "Mars Attacks!" syndrome). Now that I have gotten that out of the way, a quick synopsis : Chevy Chase (that in itself is a bad sign) stars as an air traffic controller who, after an encounter with nuclear waste, acquires telekinetic powers, which he uses against his romantic rivals. The premise in itself is engaging and open to the possibility of great comedy. So what happened?

Well, Ken Shapiro could be blamed. The direction is sloppy; actually it is downright pathetic. The pacing is WAY too slow, the action is ineptly handled, and many of the actors seem bored. And worst of all, the special effects are woeful...I haven't seen so much camera equipment on-screen since the glory days of Ed Wood. Case in point...the scene with the Flying-Airplane-Ashtray (don't ask), where some strange, large object is obviously present in the close-ups, holding up the Ashtray next to the camera. I've made home movies with better effects.

What about the actors? Well, Nell Carter is an absolute hoot; she deserves better. And Dabney Coleman is entirely in his element here as a shady, egotistical author. Brian Doyle Murray and Mary Kay Place are also entertaining. Patti D'Arbanville is a bit lacking in comedic talent; she is given nothing more to do than pout and screech. But the real problem here is Chase. He is just going through the motions here, playing the hapless bumbler bit to death and looking very bored doing it. There is no life to his performance, and it grinds the movie to a halt.

True, there are some funny moments here...Nell Carter gets most of the laughs in a woefully small role, the scenes involving Chase's romantic rival Barry (Mitch Kreindel) are pretty amusing, and one reviewer here has already mentioned Chase's throwaway line "Smells like feet," which for some reason made me laugh hysterically...but the funny moments are few and far between. There is so much BAD to sort through to get to the GOOD stuff, and it just isn't worth the time and trouble. Perhaps in better hands, "Modern Problems" could have been a good movie. This certainly isn't it.

For whatever reason, many people abhor this movie. Hence, my need to provide you with an alternative opinion. First, don't watch it expecting belly laughs as you will be, at the least, very disappointed. The modern problems confronting Chevy Chase in 1981 are still for many the problems of today - the problems of love, hate, jealousy, and revenge. But don't start thinking this is a heavy or serious movie disguised as a comedy. It is in fact a comedic journey of self-discovery that one man endures - with a little help from some nuclear waste.

Guys: It is worth watching if for no other reason than to watch Barry (Mitch Kreindel) get his just desserts in the restaurant.

Girls: It is worth watching if for no other reason than to see how true love can obliterate a man's insecurities.

I have to mention Dabney Coleman because I think he gives one of his best ever comedic performances. He's not too far removed from the part he played as the Boss in 9 to 5. And it is fun to watch him get his come-uppance.

All in all, this is not a great movie, granted. But I could think of a lot worse ways to spend two hours on a Sunday afternoon.