Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

With Diane Lane's beautiful, astonishing, must-get-the-Oscar turn in Unfaithful (since the last thing I really remember seeing her before that was Lady Beware, and if I were to bother reviewing that, my summary would be Viewer Beware, or more unkindly, Lady Beware The Between-Meal Snacks), I remembered seeing this film on the late lamented Night Flight, when it still showed uncut, uncensored, banned, obscure videos and films relating to rock and roll. Ah the good old days of early cable...

This film is a must-see, not just for Diane Lane fans, but for any rock film fan. It is a bit contrived in some parts, but brutally honest in others, and seemed to confront every '80's rock dream - from Tiffany to MTV to Madonna..and beyond - Britney and Xtina, anyone?

Many other reviews here say all there is to say about the film, since I have only seen it that one time, and can't add anything particularly pithy about it. The fact that I remember it all these years later, after just being reminded of the abysmal failure which was Streets of Fire, makes me want to see the Stains play again.

There are scenes I still remember vividly, and while some of the movie will seem forced and a bit dated even for the time it was released, it has a certain honesty that stayed with me all these years - mostly due to a powerful and honest performance by a very young Diane Lane. The same honesty and power she shows in Unfaithful...

A real shame that this movie is not available for home viewing, and should be released on dvd and vhs at a time when Lane is hopefully going to walk away with an Oscar.

I was a student in high school when the film crew and actors/actresses came to Vancouver, British Columbia Canada to film this movie.

They had a radio contest at the local radio station called 14 CFUN and they wanted people to come down to the radion station to sign up to be "extras" in the movie. I had never done this before, but took a chance and was selected. I was to play a "skunk".

We filmed down at the exhibition grounds of the P.N.E. {Pacific National Exhibition}.

I missed 3 days of school to do this movie and had the time of my life! Actually, it was even more fun when I found a friend of mine was also picked as an extra.

I remember meeting and getting the autographs of the Sex Pistols and Clash members who were there. I actually didn't even know that there were other "stars" in this movie until I had found this website and saw the cast list.

I also remember eating way too much "White Spot" {burgers and fries}. It seemed like that is all they fed us. I had been "called back" for a 3rd day of the shoot because they had chosen me for some "close-up shots".....much to my surprise.

I remember the costume and the makeup that we wore as "skunks". We all wore see-through red blouses with very high pumps on our feet. The makeup was kind of "skanky" and the big white stripe that they put down the middle of your hair. I can barely remember what we looked like.

I signed a contract with Paramount Pictures when the movie was still called "All Washed Up". I never did see it. Actually, when I was in Waikiki, Hawaii a couple of years later, we had been watching "sumo wrestling" on one of their channels and had fallen asleep. When I woke up, the credits to this movie were scrolling by!!!!!

I was soooooo upset about it, because I had never even seen the movie.

I have still yet to find this movie and would like very much to attain a copy of it on DVD.

This movie is awesome. I first saw this film in 1983 when i was 15 on a TV show called "Night Flight" (anybody remember it?), fell head over heels in love w/ teenage Diane Lane & have never forgotten the impact this film made on me & watching it recently brought back many memories. I have been looking for this film for 20yrs & i finally found a copy! It basically tells a very cynical & realistic tale totally bashing the music industry. Young female nobody has ambition to be somebody, forms a band called The Stains with her cousins (one, a very young Laura Dern), goes on the unglamorous rough & lonely road with 2 other very chauvinistic rival male bands--a has-been-on-its-last-legs headliner & an up & coming punk band. Fee Waybill of the Tubes is great as the has-been & Paul Cook of The Sex Pistols has another great role as the lead singer of the punk band. BTW, the songs in this movie are very good & very catchy---you will find yourself singing "We're the Professionals!" for days! As the girls rise to the top they're punk hair, clothes & attitude become a symbol of young female power & all the rage with young girls everywhere. they're slogan "We Don't Put Out" becomes the anthem of girl power that sweeps the nation. They're rise to the top is squashed by the backstabbing music industry & the conservative male dominated American media. The fluffy MTV styled video at the end is the icing on the cake! This movie is awesome because it takes on so many issues without ever losing the central story of this film or becoming cheesy or preachy. They really don't make movies like this anymore & I can say that this film is an unequivocal classic with Diane Lane putting on the performance of her life. wow! what an actress. Even the so-called "indie" films of today try too hard to be "shocking" & just end up being predictable & exploitative, never coming close to the realistic telling-it-like-it-is nature of this film. The thing I don't understand is why this film is never shown & why its never mentioned. I hear there is a "Making of Ladies & Gents The Fabulous Stains" with all the actors talking about this film that i would LOVE to get. This movie was also a huge inspiration to Courtney Love I've also heard. Check this film out if you can find it!!!!

Unreleased theatrical feature financed by Paramount was once an '80s staple on the USA network (in their weekend "Night Flight" movie slot). It's a satirical comedy-drama with music which finds angry, rebellious teen Diane Lane caught by reality-TV cameras getting fired from a fast food restaurant; soon, she, her sister, and a cousin hit the road with their barely-rehearsed punk band and find failure, success, unintended exploitation, and life's little ironies outside of their blue-collar town. Reminiscent of the later "This is Spinal Tap", the film has a sense of humor far more sly, less forced and obvious. Lane is so tough at first, one doesn't know how to respond to her (she pushes everyone away); somewhere down the line she begins to soften and becomes more flexible, and you see the desperation underneath her scowl--you see her pathos just once, when she gives the bus-driver money for his brother (a subtle scene that speaks volumes). Harsh in both its writing and directing, unblinking in its teenage hostility, the film still manages to be funny (intentionally so) and with a cutting edge; it's like a breath of fresh air to the disenfranchised. *** from ****

This film deserved a better shot at finding an audience than it got from its studio, which basically declared it unreleasable and threw it away. To be sure, it's not for ALL tastes but it's WAY better than a lot of the teen-oriented dreck that made millions in the 80s..Basically the story of the rise and fall of a street-wise girl (Diane Lane) and her punk rock band, the film has moments of satire and drama that ring remarkably true, even in this day and age. This is the only other film I know of directed by famed Los Angeles music producer Lou Adler (his other was the first Cheech & Chong monster hit "Up In Smoke")....this film has the same loose, anything-goes style but Adler shows that he works well with actors, getting fresh and inspired performaces all around. The only print seen for years of this film has been on USA Network's "Up All Night" and it was ruthlessly edited. I'd like to see this one show up on a premium channel like Cinemax or Showtime so I could see it completely uncut (since the chances of seeing it released on video are no doubt slim to none)