Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

For this film not to be available to the public (with the exception of the odd midnight movie crowd) is scandalous!! It's a touchstone for the next twenty years of pop culture! The film predicts the Madonna Wanna-Be craze by *years*; there's nods to such programming as MTV and such shows as VH1's Behind the Music & Driven; it was co-written by the cool, great Jonathan Demme; it features early screen appearances by later screen/TV stars Laura Dern, Christine Lahti, Star Trek's Brent Spiner (has the line, "You're fired!" ever been uttered more emphatically on film??), Rugrats voice Elizabeth Daily, B-Movie Goddess Debbie Rochon, and it stars newly-minted Unfaithful Oscar nominee Diane Lane, in a performance arguably as solid as the one she's just been nominated for. SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?? Release the film on video/DVD already!!!

I was a student in high school when the film crew and actors/actresses came to Vancouver, British Columbia Canada to film this movie.

They had a radio contest at the local radio station called 14 CFUN and they wanted people to come down to the radion station to sign up to be "extras" in the movie. I had never done this before, but took a chance and was selected. I was to play a "skunk".

We filmed down at the exhibition grounds of the P.N.E. {Pacific National Exhibition}.

I missed 3 days of school to do this movie and had the time of my life! Actually, it was even more fun when I found a friend of mine was also picked as an extra.

I remember meeting and getting the autographs of the Sex Pistols and Clash members who were there. I actually didn't even know that there were other "stars" in this movie until I had found this website and saw the cast list.

I also remember eating way too much "White Spot" {burgers and fries}. It seemed like that is all they fed us. I had been "called back" for a 3rd day of the shoot because they had chosen me for some "close-up shots".....much to my surprise.

I remember the costume and the makeup that we wore as "skunks". We all wore see-through red blouses with very high pumps on our feet. The makeup was kind of "skanky" and the big white stripe that they put down the middle of your hair. I can barely remember what we looked like.

I signed a contract with Paramount Pictures when the movie was still called "All Washed Up". I never did see it. Actually, when I was in Waikiki, Hawaii a couple of years later, we had been watching "sumo wrestling" on one of their channels and had fallen asleep. When I woke up, the credits to this movie were scrolling by!!!!!

I was soooooo upset about it, because I had never even seen the movie.

I have still yet to find this movie and would like very much to attain a copy of it on DVD.

Excellent little rock-and-roll satire. A teenage Diane Lane stars as a young woman who hates her dead-end life. Along with her sister and cousin (Laura Dern), she cons her way onto a tour bus as the nonexistent band The Stains. The gals can't play a lick, but get themselves on the local news, and they ignite like a meteorite - and come crashing to Earth just as fast. It's a biting little picture, and Lane shines brightly in the lead. Ray Winstone co-stars as the lead singer of a British punk band with whom the Stains tour. The movie was barely released when it was made, but it became a cult favorite later on through frequent airings on the USA cable network.

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains may not be the best film to come out of it's time.. but it certainly is not the worst. Many fans of this film probably know it best from when it aired on VH1 a few years back. Most "film buffs" probably have not even heard of it! It is a "fun" film, nothing too deep.. If you've ever considered yourself to be "punk rock" then you would probably enjoy this film. A few former Sex Pistols have roles in Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains. If you get a chance to see this movie I recommend it, but don't expect a masterpiece. It's just a film every post-punk should see. And always remember, The Stains do NOT put out!

With Diane Lane's beautiful, astonishing, must-get-the-Oscar turn in Unfaithful (since the last thing I really remember seeing her before that was Lady Beware, and if I were to bother reviewing that, my summary would be Viewer Beware, or more unkindly, Lady Beware The Between-Meal Snacks), I remembered seeing this film on the late lamented Night Flight, when it still showed uncut, uncensored, banned, obscure videos and films relating to rock and roll. Ah the good old days of early cable...

This film is a must-see, not just for Diane Lane fans, but for any rock film fan. It is a bit contrived in some parts, but brutally honest in others, and seemed to confront every '80's rock dream - from Tiffany to MTV to Madonna..and beyond - Britney and Xtina, anyone?

Many other reviews here say all there is to say about the film, since I have only seen it that one time, and can't add anything particularly pithy about it. The fact that I remember it all these years later, after just being reminded of the abysmal failure which was Streets of Fire, makes me want to see the Stains play again.

There are scenes I still remember vividly, and while some of the movie will seem forced and a bit dated even for the time it was released, it has a certain honesty that stayed with me all these years - mostly due to a powerful and honest performance by a very young Diane Lane. The same honesty and power she shows in Unfaithful...

A real shame that this movie is not available for home viewing, and should be released on dvd and vhs at a time when Lane is hopefully going to walk away with an Oscar.