O Homem das Cavernas

If you're in the mood for some dumb fun, try this. Take the old Raquel Welch vehicle, One Million BC, and make it even sillier and campier, and you get this fun nonsense. A goofy parody of dinosaur films, this flick never takes itself the slightest bit seriously.

Ringo Starr shows some surprising smarts for acting and comedy, playing a cross between Woody Allen and Barney Rubble. Except no talking: just grunts. A lot of grunts. Everybody in the cast grunts. No dialogue is necessary, anyway, the endless sight gags and slapstick bits tell you what little you need to know about the plot. The plot goes something like this: Ringo goofs up and is banished from his tribe. He and Dennis Quaid (Fred to Starr's Barney)wander around encountering odd Jurassic adventures. Look for Tickle Me Elmo's prehistoric ancestors, bug eyes, screeching high pitched noises, short arms, and all; they are definitely a highlight. The cast all seem to having a blast doing the movie, and the fun comes through on the screen. Shelly Long, John Matuszak, Jack Gilford and all the rest make for a good comedic time. There's all the usual dino dung and other similar type jokes, but they work in this movie.

An exuberant cast, a clever script, and some outrageous sight gags make for cool some modern stone aged entertainment. Just turn your brain cell activity down to the "Sub-Neanderthal" level while watching.

I just had a look at the new DVD of one of my all-time favorite comedies (and I don't watch a lot of comedies), `Caveman.' It's one of the VERY few comedies that I can watch more than once. The rudimentary nature of much of the humor doesn't, in my opinion, make it a kid's film, although I think lots of kids would enjoy it. Bumping your head or falling on your arse has been funny since the Jurassic period. That's one of the great constants of human culture. Mix in some stop-motion rubber dinosaurs and a huge bug, and I think you'd have to have a stick permanently implanted up the bum not to at least get some laughs.

After reading some of the other comments, I'd like to make a point or two about this film: Yes, the stop-motion dinosaurs are not realistic. It's a comedy (duh!), and they're supposed to be funny, not realistically frightening a la Jurassic Park. The language spoken isn't Swedish (are you putting us on, dude from Toronto?), but a prehistoric language fabricated for this film. Caveman flicks have been doing that at least since the 1940 version of `One Million B.C.,' and these made-up caveman languages always sound to me a bit like Esperanto, another fabricated language. The language in `Caveman' may have been intended to parody that old film cliché.

The menu of the new DVD offers multiple soundtracks in English, French and Spanish. Be sure to check them out, suckers. There's really no extras on the DVD (some commentary from Ringo might have been fun), but it has an excellent anamorphic picture, which is enough for me. It never looked quite as good as it does here. It's just a good-natured comedy that's executed with style and artistry. It looks great, has some superb comedic actors that hit just the right note, and gets maximum effect from the simple gags it presents without in the least belaboring them (Mel Brooks fanatics, take note).

Like airline disaster movies, one staple of 1970's cinema that was ripe for spoofing was the sub-genre of pre-historic melodrama influenced by "Korg: 1,000,000 B.C."(1966). Enter, "Caveman," a movie as willing to stick it to this genre as "Airplane!"(1980) was willing to do so to the Airport series, and countlessly similar movies and made-for-TV movies. You won't exactly find humor on the level of Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Young Ones, or Daria here, but it's still good for some laughs.

Atouk(Ringo Starr) has a huge crush on his tribal leader's wife Lana(Barbara Bach), but even if he didn't he's severely mistreated by Tonda(John Matousak), just because he can do so. Tonda is a huge thug who'd rather allow his fellow tribe-members to get eaten by numerous dinosaurs(which they call "Machas"), than try to save them. After he tries to "zug-zug" with Lana, he's kicked out of the tribe, and on the way finds Lar(Dennis Quaid) who was previously left to die after being injured fleeing a Macha.

Along the way they run into Tala(Shelly Long) and her blind father, Gog(Jack Gilford) who nearly drowns in a tar pit until Atouk and Lar save him. Tala immediately falls for Atouk, but he's not interested, which is a shame because she was gorgeous. Shelley Long has never looked as good as she does here. If I were in Atouk's position, I'd dump my aloonda for Lana and zug-zug Tala till she screamed like a Macha, and perhaps even afterwards. Evan Kim is interesting as Nook, the leader of the much more articulate cavemen, who are NOT all WASP heterosexuals of normal size, and and decides to join Atouk and his growing clan as they team up to eventually battle Tonda and his clan for both Ool(food) and pride. Atouk is admired by many other primitive people he comes across, partially because he discovers fire, chiropractic medicine, hallucinogenic plants, and rhythm, which is why Starr is perfect for the role.

The big disappointment here is the fact that the DVD has no translation card of the primitive language, which was originally offered to patrons of the movie when it was first released. At least they could've made a translation section as one of the special features. Other than that it was as silly as hell, and well worth seeing.

Ex-Beatle Starr joins a jock and some real actors in this zany stone age romp. I suppose the ringed one will never be a top actor but I always enjoy his films. This stuff was so goofy it kept me in stitches the whole time. Solid fun with loads of laughs.

Deliberate no-brainer comedy stars none other than Ringo Starr. Ringo plays Atouk, a caveman in one zillion b.c. who is considered inferior by the bigger and stronger men of his tribe, including the leader Tonda (John Matuszak). Cast out for attempting to get with Tondas' mate Lana (Barbara Bach), whom Atouk lusts after, Atouk forms his own tribe with misfits such as his good buddy Lar (Dennis Quaid), friendly stranger Tala (Shelley Long), and her blind father Gog (Jack Gilford).

The movie is co-written by Rudy De Luca and Carl Gottlieb, the latter recognizable for having contributed to the script for "Jaws" and having played Meadows in that classic. It's often silly and childish, sometimes a little tiresome, but it's not attempting to be anything more than a goofy good time for comedy fans.

The dialect spoken by our heroes and antagonists is most amusing: "aloonda" means love, "macha" means monster, "ool" means food, etc. "Zugzug" means...well, I think you can figure that out. It's not really that necessary to have a translation handy. The gags aren't always that successful, but the ones that work are pretty funny. One has to love the cartoon physics every time that Tonda tries to throw something heavy.

The cast is lively and engaging. Ringos' hangdog looks are perfect for his hard luck character, and Dennis Quaid is a total hoot as another guy who often can't seem to catch a break. Both the stunning Bach and the sexy Long look good in skimpy cavewomen clothes. The real highlight of "Caveman" is the fantastic effects work of Jim Danforth and David Allen: those dopey dinosaurs are just hilarious and endearing. Note that the critters are credited as playing "themselves", with the exception of the Abominable Snowman, who's played by Richard Moll of 'Night Court' fame.

Lalo Schifrin's music score is most amusing - the main theme is insidiously catchy - and there's plenty of fine location shooting in Mexico.

Incidentally, this is where real-life married couple Bach and Ringo met.

If you attempted to play a drinking game for every time a character name is uttered - especially Tonda - you'd be drunk before long.

Seven out of 10.