Turnê Assassina

"Terror on Tour" is a lousy, putrid and terribly annoying attempt at occult slasher/Rocksploitation movie from the director of the infamous first two "Ilsa" flicks; - namely "She-Wolf of the SS" and "Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks". I've seen copious amounts of 80's slashers already and there are definitely more bad ones than good ones, but "Terror on Tour" is absolute bottom-of-the-barrel unendurable guff. The film lacks anything that remotely resembles a screenplay, the killings are dull and monotonous, the decors and cinematography are ugly, the acting performances are embarrassing and even the numerous topless girls flaunting in front of the cameras are irritating. A couple of losers form a rock band together, called The Clowns, and before as well as during and after every gig the concert hall transforms into one giant orgy with drugs, horny groupies and on-stage violence. Their looks are inspired by KISS and every band member is disguised, so we can't tell which clown is responsible for the gruesome knife- killings that are occurring after their concerts. The band members remain uninterested and unworried, even when more and more groupie-corpses are piling up around them, so why should us viewers wonder who's committing the murders? The killer is probably a very angry Gene Simmons because he didn't give permission to imitate his facial make-up. There, case closed! Most of the killing sequences in early 80's slasher movies are extremely misogynic and sexist, but the chicks in "Terror on Tour" truly deserve what's coming to them… They literally just throw their naked selves to any musician with a mask and paint on his hideous face, and then they look surprised when a knife is planted deep in their A-cup sized chests. This dud definitely earns a spot in my bottom 5 worst 80's slasher list, next to other hopeless titles such as "Blood Lake", "The Stay Awake", "Appointment with Fear", "Hollow Gate" and "Sledgehammer".

The Clowns are rocking hard on stage.Their energetic and insanely cheesy performance includes decapitating mannequins.During the show a dealer is murdered and the groupies are dying stabbed to death whilst being semi-naked.Is the killer a crazed band member?Or perhaps a nutty fan?"Terror on Tour" is an ugly and very dull slasher movie directed by Don "Ilsa:She Wolf of the SS" Edmonds.The direction is lame,the acting is poor and the characters are bland and annoying.Even the horror and stalk-and-slash scenes leave something to be desired.The killings are just stabbings and there is a bit of blood and plenty of naked female flesh.5 clowns out of 10.

This movie was hard for me to watch without falling asleep, but I stayed awake for me to reveil how this movie was. There was little suspense, you knew what this movie was about from beginning to end. just another slasher/mystery movie that had little to watch out for and little enthusiasm in the film. This movie is a tale about a KISS look alike rock group called The Clowns (what a name) that basically goes and lives the fantasy of every rock musician (girls, beer, lame music and no backbone). But this movie tells about the mysterious killer from the beginning of the movie so it leaves little suspense for the viewer to look for. This movie is one of the most lame movies of the 80's when lame rock movies started coming out. I give this one a 3.

What's more fun than seeing KISS-lookalike rock group members mutilate the pretty female groupies in and out of their concerts? If exploitation is your thing, then this'll be the perfect movie for you! This one came from Don Edmonds, who directed the violent exploitation classic ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE S.S. You know you're in for some mindless and tasteless fun, so dig deep through the bargain bin! Come across TERROR ON TOUR and tell the cashier that Jason Atwood of Virginia sent ya'!

For anyone who makes the mistake of sitting though this movie: I had just decided to become an actor and I knew very little about it. I was majoring in journalism in Junior college and took a theatre class to get a date with a girl I liked and got interested in acting. I drove a friend to the audition of Terror on Tour (originally called "Clowns") and the director (Don Edmunds) asked me to read. I told him I wasn't ready as an actor to do a film and didn't know anything about acting much less film acting. He cast me and talked me into doing it. I was patently awful. I over acted every word and indicated like crazy. Above that a year after initial filming when I knew a little more about acting they called me back to shoot two pick up scenes (easy to spot as my hair was much shorter--it went from '79 to '80 nuff said). I was told to yell my dialog as there would be loud rock music playing in the background. The other guy in the scene was producer Sandy Cobe who wasn't an actor and couldn't really handle yelling while imagining loud music. In the end they forgot to add the music so it seemed like I was over acting even more than in the rest of the film. When I saw the film I came very close to quitting trying to be an actor altogether. The only reason I didn't quit is that I figured if I could spot how awful I was maybe I had a chance to learn to do it right. The band members were a real band and had never acting before so you could forgive them their acting. Of the rest of the cast there was (in my opinion) one good actor. Jeff Morgan. In filming he actually seemed to be in the moment and connecting on an honest level when you were talking to him. When I saw the film I felt I could see it in his performance. I never heard from him again and don't know what he's doing now but I do think he escaped the horror of the acting in this horror film. Again I hope whoever has to see me in this film will understand my horror that it still exists.

Larry Thomas