Hog Wild

Hog Wild has Michael Biehn as an All American screw up who gets tossed out of military school being at the wrong place wrong time. It's all quite disappointing to his father who's a blithering idiot but that's beside the point.

He's got to go to public high school somewhere in red state USA where a biker gang headed by Tony Rosato runs the school. Sometimes one steps reluctantly into the role of hero. But when you have the inducement of biker chick Patti D'Arbanville to win, Biehn shows the right stuff.

This gang was about as frightening as the bunch that Harvey Lembeck led in those Beach Party films. Must be their children.

This one is really dumb. Don't waste your time.

When I first saw this movie at a drive in 1980 it seemed to suck. Disclaimer however was back the drive in was just a large Tv in an outdoor livingroom as a backdrop not really your main focus. There was a girl involved and beer so the movie wasnt treated like with siskel and ebert like attention being invested. I watched it again and It was a very good comedy especially compared to teen movies of the time. It did't go for cheap laughs but did have some slapstick,pathos and boistris mirth. Beihn did well he wasn't a caracture and seemed like a real person starting his path to adulthood. Rosato did alot with a little and Rosato who played bean his second in command was hilarious. Casting was near perfect,the story off beat but beleievable. The wanna be biker guy was funny and almost all the bikers. The only mediocre perfromance was the headliner Patti Durbanville. The theme song is one of the best next to say caddyshack. The opening theme will stay in your head more. Lots of good gimmicks the one bikers hand, the Bull needing a translator the loveable punks romping thru the extremely passive high school and community. If your 20-30 you may be triggered because of kids being kids in a class system.

Let me be straight up front with this. You won't go as the title suggests. It's rambunctious fun, in a slightly dry film, with Biehn booted out of military school, returning to his hometown, to find it overrun by a group of biker misfits, the head honcho, Rosato, who only speaks in jargon, he needs a translator. That's the amusing content of the film. Naturally Biehn falls for the head biker's girl (D'Arbanville) and there's a nice little scene in the hot tub with the two. This weak comedy kind of verges on serious as to the futile, unimpressive, and childish exploits of this d.. head motorcycle gang, perhaps the dumbest, you'll ever see, captured. Not without interest, but this is that first film, starting block, that actors want to put behind 'em. Just ask Biehn, and he'd tell ya. Try to explain, the last frame with Rosato, who expertly flips a cigarette. Weak. Nice befitting music score opening.

This is how I resume this movie...

Tell a washed-up story told many times and make it a bad script...

Put some cardboard signs over french signs or copyrighted products to pass Montreal for an American City...

Hire some second rate American actors to play the lead roles...

Shoot this on bad quality film and equipment...

Dub it in the worst Parisian French (yes, dubbed in Paris !) to show it to the French Canadian movie market (don't forget, this is Canadian even if the action's in the States, eh ? Bilingual country, isn't it eh ?)

And voila, a turkey made for order. Watch it once, get bored, forget it !

Not "good bad" in the Plan 9 sense; just bad.

Since it's been 22 years since I saw this movie, I can't supply plot details, but the impression that it made on me -- that it was the worst movie released in the spring of 1980, and I saw every commercially released film that spring -- has stayed with me all these years.

I do recall that there didn't seem to be an original idea in the script or a single energetic performance among the cast, that most of the "funny" lines fell flat, and that quite a few people left the theatre before the end.

Sorry; wish I could add something positive here, but ... well, this bad a review might at least garner it some video rentals by the curious and masochistic ...