A Maçã

I was channel surfing a few weeks ago when this...this...this..THING showed up on Flix. I was mesmerized. I grew up in the late 70's, early 80's and this felt like I was zapped back in time to movies like "Little Darlings", "Over the Edge", and "Xanadu". The whole look was scary. It looked like it was shot in a shopping mall. When I checked out the title, I thought "Where has this GREAT BAD movie been all my life! How come I've never heard of it before?" This is one camp classic that truly deserves a full resurrection. VH-1 should do a whole "Where Are They Now" on this movie. I'd love to know what the "actors" in this movie think of it now. Truly bad in a classicly bad/great way.

I've been waiting for this movie all my life.until now,my favorite film musicals were "xanadu","voyage of the rock aliens",and "the pirate movie", but this one far and away exceeds them all.I'd heard about it for a few years,and finally got the chance to see (and tape) it.this was about three weeks ago,and i've seen it at least a dozen times since then.my friends have stopped coming over because i keep "subjecting" them to it,but i don't care,i'm part of the BIM family now.my coworkers have been giving me strange looks just because i walk around singing "popping power by the hour-SPEED","light my way child of love", the entire APPLE SONG,which i know by heart,and of course"hey hey hey bim's on the way".they may think i'm crazy,but i know someday Mr. Topps will come down and take me away in his holy pimpmobile.

Probably made as a "please God, let what happened to ROCKY HORROR

happen to us!", project, THE APPLE is so audacious, so over the top, so

totally awful that it is simply wonderful. The songs are cheesy, the

acting horrendous, the costumes nightmarish, the concept bizarre etc.,

etc., but when all those negatives are put together, the result is a

positively guilty pleasure to top all guilty pleasures. Please, someone,

release a letterboxed DVD of this film so that all its rocky horrors

squeezed onto the small screen can be seen in all their garish terrible/wonderfulness.......

Proudly taking its place next to "Can't Stop the Music", "Xanadu", "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" and other breathtakingly bad musicals is this rapturously awful piece of celluloid punishment. This one tops all of the aforementioned flicks in the heinousness department because the others, at least, contain some modicum of memorable and, even good, music! Released in 1980, this film is set in the far-flung future of 1994. Music (and apparently most everything!) is controlled by a huge conglomerate called BIM. During a World Music Festival, Stewart and Gilmour, two young, folksy types, pit their sappy love ballad against the over-the-top, synthetic music of Kennedy and Love. They come close to winning the competition, but the evil head of BIM (Sheybal) rigs it so that they lose. Realizing their potential, however, he attempts to sign them to a record deal. Stewart foolishly gives in while Gilmour stands his ground. Once he sees what the money, drugs and sexual excesses are doing to her, he attempts to break her away from BIM. The rather basic plot line takes its cues from The Bible, but is souped up with Rocky Horror Show-style hair, make-up and costuming topped off with ludicrous production design and some of the most dreadful, ear-assaulting production numbers ever to be captured on film. The story is slight to begin with, but is barely allowed to play out in between the endless, increasingly-bad songs. The numbers include a trip into hell, a plethora of couples writhing and posing on beds, a thoroughly zany enforced-exercise sequence and several tacky onstage concert sequences. Fans seem to be split on which songs they like or hate more...the disco-esquire BIM songs or the love ballads cranked out by Gilmour. None of the songs in the film are particularly memorable though, even if one can't get the imagery that goes with them out of one's head! It is astonishing that Stewart could actually carve out some type of career after this. Her fresh face and amiable persona somehow won out. She actually enjoyed a fairly healthy TV and movie resume in the wake of this film. Gilmour dropped off the face of the earth entirely, apparently. His singing isn't all that bad and he had a sexy body (shown off to good advantage at several stages of the movie) but he could not act at all and occasionally resembles Will Farrell! Kennedy and Love were also virtually obliterated by this turkey. Love was quite awful, but Kennedy actually appeared to have a certain amount of talent and presence and it's a shame she was sunk before she even got started. Sheybal had a long career as a character actor and he always strikes a distinctive note, but his singing here is disastrous. Ackland pops up briefly near the end and also can't sing, but manages to provide a little presence in a dual role. The film makers believed that 1994 would bring huge gas-guzzling cars with pointy ends and lots of paraphernalia attached, but aerodynamics actually won the day. However, their insight into the way the music business has evolved isn't all that far off the mark! Useful as a party-enhancing laugh machine. Look high and low, far and wide, but it is unlikely that a more splendiferously hideous film will be found.

I remember seeing this film on late night television back in the early 80's. I thought it was a strange yet intriguing piece of work and was constantly on the lookout for repeat showings. I did manage to catch it another time in the mid 80's but never again since. For years, I was the only person I knew of that had seen "The Apple," much less heard of it. I wondered if I had imagined the whole crazy thing until I came upon a copy of the soundtrack album in a local record store that specialized in hard to find and obscure music. Finally, some hard evidence that this film existed!! A friend of mine, with whom I co-produce a local public access film review program, prides himself on his ability to get copies of hard to find movies. So I presented him with the ultimate challenge: Get me a copy of "The Apple." His unrelenting persistance paid off and last Fall he presented me with my request. I got it home and popped into my VCR and WOW! The film was just as bizarre and entertaining as I remembered! The costumes! The music! The biblical parallels! Alfie and BeBe! Obviously, everyone who has seen it feels passionately positive or passionately negative. But as for me, everytime I see it, I get nothing but the guiltiest of pleasures. If you're lucky enough to get the opportunity to experience "The Apple" do not hesitate!! If you like shiny outlandish costumes and make-up . . . If you can't live without garish production numbers . . . If limited acting (or abundant overacting) ability enhances your enjoyment of a movie . . . "The Apple" is the one for you! Take a bite and enjoy!!