Férias do Barulho

Take a typical 80's B-comedy, and give the two male leads to two actors who would go on to awards and world fame.

Believe me or not, Depp and Morrow take two stock characters and make the material seem that much better; suddenly Jack and Ben hold the film together, rather than just reacting to everything within a narrow character description. Okay, so it's not art, but it's interesting from a film education perspective, if nothing else.

The script and direction aren't bad either, for a 1980's sex romp. Would have liked to see the director go on to better material. Ah, well.

7/10, for effort and sheer amusement value.

Obviously this isn't a movie to be taken seriously and it may even be arguably offensive to women but I would take 'Private Resort' any day over the supposed 'comedy' flicks that feature the likes of Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan. There isn't much in terms of story. It's pretty much about two young men in their early twenties who go to a private resort to get laid. Meanwhile a jewel thief looks to steal a diamond necklace from a martial arts expert grandmother. It's definitely very silly but highly amusing. There's plenty of slapstick and overall cheesiness but the humour works and it has the right energy. Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow's on-screen camaraderie is a delight to watch as they provide the funniest scenes. Both actors have come a long way since and it was fun to see them as their young selves playing horny kids. Hector Elizondo is funny too. There's plenty of nudity to keep the viewer further entertained. It also depicts the 80's fashion (with big puffy hair and funny clothes). Overall, it's a fun little flick that has some nostalgic value.

Private Resort (1985)

*** (out of 4)

Incredibly stupid but funny teenage sex romp has two teens (Rob Morrow, Johnny Depp) staying at a rich Florida resort where there's plenty of beautiful women to try and get in bed. Also on hand is a jewel thief (Hector Elizondo), a muscle bound ladies man (Andrew Dice Clay) and various other nuts. If you want high level comedy of Billy Wilder then you best stay away from this film but if you want juvenile humor mixed in with beautiful women getting naked then this film is just for you. This is clearly a rip of Porky's and all the comedy is incredibly dumb but it's still funny. Elizondo steals the show as the wannabe Mafia guy but Morrow and Depp are also fun to watch. Leslie Easterbrook from the Police Academy films also stars (and yes, she's naked).

This is a lesser member of the 80s sex romp genre. It's the second film of the yet unknown Johnny Depp. That's the only reason I checked it out. It's a T&A romp in a Florida resort and hotel. Confident Jack (Johnny Depp) and his more reserved friend Ben (Rob Morrow) have fun and hijinx trying to hook up with all the hot young women. They constantly run into jewel thief 'The Maestro' (Hector Elizondo), the resort manager, and the jerk Curt (Andrew Dice Clay).

Girls, I'll tell you up front that you absolutely see Depp's butt. He struts around naked and so does Morrow. Clay slaps the guys around. There are some slapstick. It's exactly what you expect and none of it is terribly funny but it is somewhat cute. It's all very silly and stupid.

The only thing to raise this above all the other pointless '80s sex romp is the combo of Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow. They are a couple of fun guy buddies. They are a likable charismatic duo. Without them, I couldn't possibly give this a 6/10.

Released in 1985, "Private Resort" stars Johnny Depp (who was only 21 during filming) and Rob Morrow as two adolescent guests at a Florida resort for the weekend. Their only interest is chasing beach beauties, but fate has much more in store for them.

My title blurb is true: I've never seen such an assortment of bodacious females in any other movie. I'll put it like this: Take any dozen similar-themed movies and I assure that "Private Resort" contains more beautiful women than all of them in just the first half hour.

The top female, by the way, is the one with whom Andrew Dice Clay's character intends to cheat; the one the protagonists try to hide from the girlfriend in the apartment (it's impossible to pinpoint her name in the credits and, besides, I think she's uncredited).

Second place goes to Emily Longstreth, who plays Patti. Speaking of whom, she fell out of acting entirely by the 90s and reportedly fell into substance abuse, mental illness, and living in a homeless shelter in New York City. There's also credible reports that she died in January, 2015 (please correct me, if this isn't true). In any case, she shines here as Rob's potential girlfriend and shows-off her physical beauty in a white bikini in the last act.

Aside from the women, there are a lot of compelling antics, like zany chases in the hotel and butchered haircuts. Despite the boys' obsession with females, the movie drives home the point of landing the right mate, who's beautiful inside and out.

I've heard the movie criticized as misogynistic, but this is laughable in light of the focus on women and the celebration thereof. I suppose these critics object to the excessive and unnecessary top nudity and the like, which I agree with and this explains my somewhat mediocre rating. In other words, the ladies are incredible and this is a really fun beach comedy, but I can't in good conscience recommend it due to the tasteless elements.

The move is short 'n' sweet at 1 hour, 22 minutes, and was shot at Ocean Reef Club, Key Largo, Florida.

GRADE: C+