Junior

JUNIOR (or HOT WATER) is a Canadian film that's amazingly trashy, but in a very good way. The film starts out with these two female convicts who are released from jail (the two women look pretty good for jailbirds). Anyway, one of the funniest moments I've ever seen happens the minute they leave prison: they meet the pimp/drug dealer and what ensues ALWAYS makes me laugh out loud whenever I watch it or think about it. It's so over-the-top exploitive, violent and unintentionally funny that the whole beginning of JUNIOR was worth the whole one buck I paid for the video. The beginning of film is a must see for lovers of trash. Not that there isn't more trash afterwards (there's lots more) but once the story settles down at the waterfront hotel/bar place, well, the level of lunacy seen at the beginning mostly disappears (except for a few places here and there, certainly when Junior is around). What's fun about JUNIOR is that the producers knew they were making an exploitation flick and they makes no bones about it.

I actually like almost everything about this genuine "So Bad It's Good" movie. The Canadian locals pretending to be the US. The bad over-acting. The all-over-the-map story, that veers from one genre to the next but eventually settles in full horror at the end. There are loads of deaths, a great boat scene, attempts at rape, an elderly woman who looks like a man in drag, some beefcake, gratuitous nudity, and some chainsaws, of course. The only thing missing from the whole "kitchen sink" package was some lesbian scenes between the two gals. Had the film included some lesbian action, JUNIOR would have been a complete smörgåsbord of exploitation elements under one title. Arf!!!

I rate this 2 stars as an average film but rate it 8 stars as a trashy film.

This movie combines several exploitation genres in a high energy, highly entertaining way. It includes Women In Prison, Good Old Boy Action Comedy, Horror, Soft Core Sex, Women Stand Up and Fight Back Against Town of Rednecks, and more! It is not, as the box suggests, just another slasher film. If you are looking for that, you might be disappointed. If you like campy humour, and lots of beautiful women in bikinis (and often out of them, too), you can't go wrong with Junior.

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Hot Water aka Junior; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 1.25 Direction: 1.00 Pace: 0.75 Acting: 1.25 Enjoyment: 1.00

TOTAL: 5.25 out of 10.00.

In Hot Water, Junior is a man-child with a problem similar to Norman Bates. His Mother. The worrisome thing is Junior's mommy is still alive and as mad as a hatter suffering from vestiphobia on Ladies' Day at Royal Ascot. She's only too happy to cheer him on when he wants revenge, all too happy to whisper in his ear to instruct him. Some mothers are just bad for their sons.

John Maxwell and Don Carmody deliver a slasher flick with a twist. Two ex-cons, KC and Joe, fresh out of the women's pen, have decided to make a new start and go straight. They've bought a lakeside property hoping to turn it into a profitable business and home. Luckily for the viewers looking for a Dark Thriller, it's not long before the women realise their dreams will be tougher to achieve than they originally planned. For one, it would appear that their nearest neighbour, Junior, is nuttier than a coconut tree - and not in a funny way either. The first meeting they have with Junior and his cohorts sees Joe turned upside down and dangled over a whirring outboard motor propellor. KC comes to the damsel's rescue with her trusty shotgun. Only to have the Sheriff step out from the shadows to announce that he's also Junior's friend. Talk about bad luck; the local psycho has friends in high places. But this is only the beginning of the girl's troubles. Will they win the day, or will Junior and his mates rule the roost? As it goes, the story isn't too terrible. Maxwell and Carmody could've enriched their characters a tad more. Sadly, there's no real depth to them. The mysterious stranger, Luke, who lives on the houseboat, is a perfect example. There's not much to his character, and that works to build his mystique. But it's not enough to make the viewers relate to him. Even a vague backstory showing his personality better would pull the audience into his story and the film more: You need to get the viewer to invest themselves into the tale a little. Without that investment, the story becomes dull. And that's the case here. No matter what happens to KC & Joe, or anybody else in the story, you don't care. In the finale, you find that you're indifferent to the outcome. You're not cheering for the heroines' survival. And that's an awful thing for this type of picture.

Sadly, Jim Hanley wasn't up to capturing this story on film. His directorial style is lacking. There are copious scenes that merited better, starting with the propellor torture of Joe. The set needed to be better lit because you hardly make out the whirring prop. The scene is supposed to send chills down the viewers' spine in the apprehension of a messy kill. However, the killing machine's veiled in shadow, making the threat less intimidating to the viewer. Then there's a motorboat chase on the lake. Sadly, it comes across as less than thrilling and action-packed. It's more like a damp squib at a funereal convention. It's trying to be funny, but the attendants are waiting to bury it forever - dead or alive. And there are plenty more missed opportunities to empower the film. Though, I do have to state the ending sequence is nearly there. It comes across better than the others, and the final twist helps. One reason many sections fail to envigorate the viewers' emotions is Hanley's slow pacing. This failure is particularly noticeable in the boat chase. The excitement needed ramping up, as did the speed of his cuts and splices. The point-and-shoot style he employs with the meandering tempo does nothing but make the chase tiresome.

Surprisingly, the cast is okay. Two actors give the impression of being professionals and not some amateurs looking for a break; Jeremy Ratchford, who plays Junior and Ken Roberts, who portrays the Sherriff. These two guys made the movie more watchable for me.

Hot Water isn't a movie I'd quickly recommend. It's average to the extreme and could've been much better. But if you see it on a streaming service for free and you're at a loose end for an hour or so, feel free to check it out. It should pass the time.

Junior, after you've sorted out those loose ladies, fetch my IMDb list - Killer Thriller Chillers, to see where I ranked Hot Water.

Take Care & Stay Well.

I'm not at all familiar with the hicksploitation genre outside of its out and out horror entries, so Hot Water was a bit of an education for me. It definitely comes under the mantle of horror mind, but it isn't the slasher or TCM clone it was marketed as, more a fun and trashy, even suspenseful hicks plus city gals equals bad times tale. Hookers KC and Jo get released from jail and find themselves rich after a run in with their crazy aggressive pimp. They decide to head out and start a new life, which they plan to do by setting up a marina in a backwater town, not counting on despicable locals, especially a retarded momma's boy by the name of Junior, who proves to make their stay pretty stressful, as well as the mean local sheriff. I was a little bothered by the pairs lack of logic here, I'm all for female empowerment and all that chit and KC and Jo make for highly appealing heroines, but I can't see anyone other than the most bull headed no brain trying to set up shop in a territory where just three people like them, as opposed to literally everyone else. Still, their unbelievable stubbornness marks them out as appealingly spunky and its good to see a film like this where the female leads have proverbial balls from the get go. The comely Suzanne DeLaurentiis (daughter of Dino?) is a blast as the tough and brassy KC, though I would have liked her even more had she not been sporting brunette hair as opposed to her seemingly natural red, since as we all know redheads are awesome to the max. Linda Singer is a nice contrast as the blonde and ditzy Jo with an amusing habit of talking about movies at relevant but inopportune moments and they have a fun chemistry, supported by Michael McKeever and Cotton Mather as their charming beaus. On the villainous side of things Jeremy Ratchford is effectively sleazy and unpleasant as Junior, packing a good lumbering menace, while Ken Roberts is suitably officious and scummy as the sheriff. The smart pace and build up of events is what really gives this one a kick though, things start with unwanted intrusion but grow to attempted rape, fish-hook violence, a terrific chainsaw attack and verbal abuse a-plenty amongst other things, lots of fun stuff here and a bodacious, surprisingly intense finale. The big downside is that there really isn't much in the way of bloodshed here, there are a few bits where full on brutality would have really worked but it just isn't there (although what is there was still enough to make the astoundingly cretinous BBFC of 1986 cut this one by nearly ten minutes for its UK video release. There's a bit of nudity though, which is pretty rad as the stars are fine. Overall this is real solid stuff, sweet locations, decent amount of the good stuff, could have packed more punch but still cool, check it out says I.

JUNIOR is the story of two perfectly-made-up, super model "inmates", named K. C. and Jo (Suzanne DeLaurentis and Linda Singer) and their adventures after getting out of prison.

After suffering and escaping the travails of their fiendish pimp's assault, K. C. and Jo wind up under siege by Neanderthal hillbillies.

In between attacks, they find time for being latched onto by leeches, romanced by a local Romeo, and nude sunbathing.

JUNIOR is a ludicrous, developmentally stalled "thriller" from the glorious 1980's. The heinous hicks are terribly, awesomely portrayed, helping to turn this mess into an idiot classic!

The title character's (Jeremy Ratchford) pop-eyed lunacy is unsurpassed! Then, there's "mama" the mute-man-in-a-wig matriarch of the slimy clan. A total hoot!

The best character by far is K. C. with her Tawny Kitaen mane. She's also the only one who seems to have a pulse, and acting ability.

For this movie it's important to be sufficiently inebriated. Even then, you'll either laugh, cry, or smack your brain with a pipe wrench over this one...