A Criatura

This movie is clearly a low-budget Alien knock-off. A hand full of explorers, comprised of a cast of television regulars, investigate Titan, one of the moons orbiting Saturn, for a life-form, that's seemingly done away with all of the previous crew that visited for the same reason. The acting is pretty much sub-standard, and the script is a case of sometimes it's so bad, it's funny, especially if you watch it late enough to grab you in a relaxed frame of mind. The ever entertaining Klaus Kinski makes a guest appearance here, albeit brief, gives this a bit of a shot in the arm, with some funny nonsensical lines and casual demeanor in what's otherwise meant to be a tense serious situation. The Creature itself is obviously a guy in a big rubber suit, but you could arguably say the same thing for Alien. The other effects in the movie are OK, with a notably gooey pumpkin head explosion in one scene. All in all, not altogether bad, but there's not enough here to sustain the 97 odd minute running time. Maybe worth catching on a slow night.

Maybe I shouldn't, but I feel like on a situational basis I can readily forgive clear aping of pre-established pictures. Maybe those involved wanted to tell their own vision of a similar story, maybe they were on contract, maybe they just wanted an easy paycheck. Certain similarities to 'Alien' and other properties are undeniable, and even the one-word title is decidedly on the nose. None of this inherently means 'Creature' can't be appreciated on its own merits. And hey, there are some recognizable names and faces here! Unfortunately, the moment we get past the superficial bits, the experience begins to degrade. It's not that this is altogether rotten, but the entertainment value never really rises above "moderate."

Imagine, if you will, browsing the Internet and stumbling across trailers for 80s or 90s B-movies, the type that are immediately so outlandish and blunt that one can only react with tempered bewilderment. Think 'Eliminators' (1986), 'Metalstorm: The destruction of Jared-Syn' (1983), or 'Nemesis' (1992) as points of comparison. Now imagine one of these trailers realized as a full-length film that rides on the coattails of a highly respected sci-fi horror flick. That's the experience of watching 'Creature.' A fair portion of the visuals are pretty well done: special effects, creature designs, blood and gore, aspects of the production design and art direction, costume design, makeup. Elsewhere, chiefly interiors, the sets are less readily impressive. All this would be fine if not for the writing and direction, which impact the acting in turn, and other fundamental building blocks of the project. The tone varies between heavy-handed and overdone, lackadaisical and sluggish, airy and nonchalant. Only in moments of abject violence or frightful imagery does the feature seem to strike the right chord, yet for otherwise lack of meaningful atmosphere, tension, or suspense, these peaks aren't enough to carry the day.

William Malone's direction struggles to attain balance between moments of heightened emotions and violence and quiet moments that lack tension, and the same can be said of the score. Though the effects and genre visual elements look great in and of themselves, how they're employed is often somewhat senselessly over the top and forthright, unable to achieve the desired effect. This applies as well to the acting, with infamous legend Klaus Kinski particularly standing out like a sore thumb. Ninety-nine minutes drag on nigh interminably as scene writing, dialogue, characters, and the narrative at large fail to build momentum, let alone sustain any; for all the good ideas here, the plot is kind of all over the place, and there's far too little of the necessary refined touch to make anything stick. However much one wants to draw comparisons to other movies, 'Creature' could claim some strong potential all the same - but as it presents, it's instead largely so uninteresting that the viewing experience becomes a question of keeping ourselves occupied so we can maybe watch it with half our attention, for that's all the more it really earns.

Once again I find myself in the position of wishing I could say I like the picture more than I do. There are surely some worthwhile components here and there. From top to bottom, however, the realization of it all just limps along so blandly that it struggles to produce or maintain excitement or basic engagement. Most action sequences are just uninspiring, even the climax, and the ending is plainly weak and ham-handed - including the abrupt cop-out excuse for why one character just vanished for a substantial portion of the runtime, as though Malone and co-writer Alan Reed literally just forgot about them for most of the screenplay. Maybe, after all, I'm being overly generous in my assessment. I suppose there are worse ways to spend 100 minutes, but that's just it: these are 100 very long minutes, and since that time is best spent only half-watching, why commit to it at all in the first place? 'Creature' isn't downright awful, but even if you're a diehard fan of someone involved, unless you're desperate for genre fare then I can't readily conceive of recommending this.

My reaction to hearing about Creature, "Klaus Kinski in a creature feature? Count me in, baby!" My reaction after watching Creature, "Ehhh, sh!t."

The story of Creature revolves around dueling spaceship companies (haha) who end up discovering on Saturn's moon, Titan, a creature who's been in slumber for over 2,000 centuries. That's alotta snoozin. So obviously when this creature wakes up it's gonna be hungry as hell. And low and behold it is. The crew discover that the German Spaceship Company has touched down before they have, and when they land they also learn that may have been a godsend. Because they're all dead. Well, besides Klaus. He managed to stay alive. Yay! Well, Kinksi, the romantic waitress from Pee Wee's Big Adventure and the rest of the American Spacemen are trying to figure out to get off this rock and survive the Creature's wrath while doing so.

Didn't I just make that sound awesome? No? Oh. Well, like my summary the movie isn't very awesome either. But it's not totally worthless. Klaus in his minuscule screen-time plays his part in a pretty likable way. The gore though not a lot wasn't that bad, the sets were pretty good but too dark, and the cheesy writing and decision making were enough to make you smile. The ending especially was chock full of stupidity. Anyways, all these ingredients made a decently cheesy flick. Oh, it was a tad too long as well.

I have to leave my biggest qualm (word of the day) for the end of his utterly pathetic review. The Creature was a total disappointment. By the looks of it on the cover it looks like a freak monster ant-eater type thing. And it's cool. But when it's on camera it didn't shine at all. To make matters worse here the creature may possibly be the slowest villain in history of capable villains. Jason does that slowass walk thing but he manages to keep up. This thing literally takes 2 second steps, but still it manages to keep right up. There was one scene where they had the Creature in the distance trudging forward while the guy's screaming "Hurry up!". The dude's freaking out for no reason because the creature probably made about 3 feet in all the time he was panicking.

What a stupid review, huh? Anyways, if you like Alien ripoffs, Klaus Kinski, that chick from Pee Wee's Big Adventure, little bits of nudity and gore then check out Creature.

Two corporations are competing to mine a 200,000 year old archaeological find on the Saturn moon Titan. The crew of the U.S. ship Shenandoah crashes on the lunar surface, only to find the Germans beat them there. But strange things are abound as the German ship is deserted except for a pesky alien. Lone survivor Hans (Klaus Kinski) tells of the horror his crew encountered from a mind controlling alien, but no one is quick enough to combat it this go around either. It's probably been about 20 years since I last saw this and this low budget production has held up really well. Director Malone is definitely trying to ape Ridley Scott's trend setter, but he ups the gore factor substantially. Malone also seems to be having fun here, as evidenced by the female lead coming up with a way to kill the creature by recalling a screening of THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD (1951). He even has a character reading a novelization of his debut feature SCARED TO DEATH (1981). The cast is good with the great Kinski doing his psycho German guy routine (shocking, right?). I wonder if he caused problems on the set as his character disappears, but then comes back zombified with clearly a double in his place.

The main problem with this movie is the poor photography. It's just too dark. I'm guessing the darkness was used to hide the low budget set pieces. The other problem is slow pacing, but the decent gore keeps you watching.

The big question I had: what is Klaus Kinski doing in this thing? Just three years earlier he was in 'Fitzcarraldo'. What happened? That would be like Tom Hanks going from 'Forest Gump', to three years later starring in 'Leprechaun 4: In Space'.