Blood Beat

So, following the very much perfect Deadly Games, things took a turn for the weird, but I couldn't really say bad. Now, let me preface my review by saying that Blood Beat is one of the weirdest films that I have ever seen in my life.

From the extremely awkward close ups, to the really awful dialogue, to the terribly loud classical music that pretty much conceals any real words coming from the actors, to some really weird female orgasms, to a Japanese samurai killer, this is all just really weird.

The plot, from what I could tell was this: A brother and sister return from college to visit their parents in Wisconsin. The family is very fond of deer-hunting by the way. Anyways, the brother decides to bring home his girlfriend to stay with him at his parent's house. As soon as the girlfriend meets the mother, she gets this really peculiar look on her face. The mother starts to become really erratic, draws really abstract paintings, and becomes mentally unstable. She somehow can see that the girlfriend is evil, even though she is actually really sweet. The girlfriend is creeped out by the mother. Regardless, a samurai ghost starts to kill people throughout the area. And whenever the ghost kills people, the girlfriend gets a massive orgasm that practically makes her levitate.

Like I am not even kidding. Whenever the ghost stabs someone with the sword, the girlfriend has the most incredible orgasm that people could only dream to have. Like what in the actual hell? It was so weird, but was kind of cool too? Anyways, the samurai ghost causes the house to have an earthquake, people start dying, the family obtains really weird mind-trick powers (that have horrid special effects), and an epic mystical fight between the mother and the girlfriend happen.

Now, this may sound confusing. But I would try to urge you to watch the film, because it was one of the most unique cinematic experiences I have ever had. The filmmaking wasn't bad at all (except for the cheesy effects), but the acting, although horrendous, was probably intentional. Nothing made sense at all, but it was highly entertaining.

While many people left the theater, about thirty of us remained, and we laughed, loudly expressed our happiness or anger, and ultimately had a blast. I have never screamed out "WHAT?!" in the theater so many times in my life. It was so weird and made no sense, but it was totally enjoyable.

I would highly recommend this to anyone who wants to enter a cinematic void, and escape the mass amounts of horrendous blockbusters that consume every AMC theater. Also, if you enjoy female orgasms from ghost samurais stabbing people with their sword, then here you go.

PS: Despite how horrendous the special effects were, I will rest my case that it beats a lot of modern CGI, especially in Justice League.

You could call Blood Beat a slasher film, but that would be too easy. It might have all the trappings of one (mostly one secluded location, a sword twirling villain, a decent body count), but it marches to the beat of its own wonky drummer.

I'm not saying Blood Beat is good, but nothing this unique and odd can be totally bad. I was riveted from start to finish, so it must have done something right. Mostly, I just couldn't believe my eyes. I found it all rather well shot and appealing looking and the addition of a Japanese samurai as a villain is certainly not something you see a lot of. There's also an incredibly odd sequence (in this movie? Shocker!) where a young woman's masturbation seems to beacon the killer to her location. It sorta felt like a similar moment in High Tension.

Blood Beat is a hard one to recommend, because everyone's threshold for strange, artsy trash is different, but it's worth giving a shot. You might enjoy it.

"Blood Beat" follows a young woman named Sarah who goes along with her boyfriend to his family's rural farmhouse in Wisconsin to spend Christmas. Their celebrations are soon interrupted by her boyfriend's mother's apparent psychic visions, followed by the spirit of a Japanese samurai soldier armed with a sword who begins decking the halls with body parts.

I think it's probably inarguable that "Blood Beat" is the strangest Christmas-set horror film that's ever been made. It's not really a "Christmas film," though for some reason it is set during the holiday; it's also not entirely a slasher film, as it is littered with supernatural goings on and psychic extravagances that go without explanation.

The most baffling (and alluring) thing about the film is that next to nothing is elucidated for the audience; the psychic connections between the characters, the ghost of the samurai, the utterly bizarre dialogue--it all comes and goes with a casual passiveness that is rather astounding. I have read that the French filmmakers who made the film were on drugs during its shooting, which does not surprise me in the least. However, I will admit that, despite its logical inconsistencies and bizarre structure, the film is actually well-shot, especially for having been made on a shoestring budget. It looks fairly professional and slick at times, save the odd camera filter edits that go wild in the final act. The atmosphere is at times creepy and oppressive, and the wintry woodsy setting is well-captured, adding a chilly element to the proceedings. In some ways, the film reminded me of its equally strange contemporary "Satan's Blade."

Overall, I found myself consistently perplexed and amused by "Blood Beat," mainly because so little of it makes a shred of sense. One can try and put the pieces together themselves, though I'm not sure they were designed with the forethought to be put together in the first place. The film is utterly bizarre, and I say that as someone who has seen their fair share of weirdo genre flicks. If nothing else, "Blood Beat" is a true B-movie one of a kind. 6/10.

A family's Christmas reunion gets off to a bad start when the son brings home his girlfriend, leading to an awkward feeling of deja-vu between her and the boy's psychic mother. Weird things begin happening, the weirdest of which happens to be the presence of a glowing samurai warrior who's murderous tendencies appear to be linked to the girlfriend's orgasms.

"Bloodbeat" is one of the more bizarre films you could ever see. What we have here is a slasher shot in Wisconsin by a French director with a ghostly samurai as the killer. It's actually pretty effective for the first two thirds of the running time, particularly a creepy home invasion and ensuing chase. Through some splendid editing, this sequence is interspersed with the girlfriend's writhing and upward-thrusting in bed. It's also undeniably cool seeing a samurai as the villain in a slasher. During the final third, however, the film veers off in an unsatisfying direction with over-the-top antics and ridiculous special effects. Disappointing, but not enough to ruin the film for me. Oh yeah, excessive overuse of violin chords too.

A family with a few secrets of their own are terrorized by the spectre of a Japanese samurai warrior at their home deep in the woods.People begin to die,some by sword,some by arrow before mother's two kids step in and dispatch the sword-wielding samurai with their newfound magical power."Blood Beat" is a strangely fascinating film to watch.It has tons of flaws:confusing plot,lousy sound and cheap optical effects that made me laugh.There is some nudity and gore(knives entering bodies,a bloody stomach and neck wound)to keep your mind briefly occupied,but I'm still trying to understand this bizarre supernatural slasher.Wish me good luck.6 out of 10.