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They're Playing with Fire (1984)

* (out of 4)

Married college professor Diane Stevens (Sybil Danning) seduces her student Jay (Eric Brown) and then asks him to do a favor for her and her husband Michael (Andrew Prine). Before long the husband's rich mother and grandmother are dead and Jay feels that they set him up.

THEY'RE PLAYING FOR FIRE is one of those movies that you should start around one thirty in the morning. You know, just when you're starting to get tired but you want to watch something. This is without question one of the strangest movies I've seen from this era and especially since it really doesn't know what it wants to do. I became aware of the movie thanks to a review by Roger Ebert where he pretty much went off on the picture and it's easy to see why he would.

The film starts off like a teen sex comedy where the sexy teachers seduces the boy. We then get a couple really graphic murders and the film turns into a murder mystery. As the movie plays out there's a hooded killer going around killing people in some rather graphic ways so out of nowhere this film turns into a slasher and you'll be surprised at how much blood the film got pass the MPAA. This film really is all over the map in terms of what it's trying to do but those who enjoy horror films will want to count this one as a slasher.

The film is pretty darn bad but thankfully it's so weird and bizarre that you can't help but keep watching. Danning appears naked throughout 40% of the movie and that alone makes it worth watching. If you didn't see enough of her in HOWLING II: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF then you'll be happy to know that there's even more nudity here. Prine is good in his role as the husband but it's always nice seeing him. The real problem with the cast is Brown. He's just not all that interesting. I'm not sure if the director made him give this type of performance or what but it makes for a very shallow and very boring character. Just look at how nervous and awkward he appears to be during the sex scenes!

THEY'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE really is a lousy movie but it has enough nudity and enough blood to make it worth viewing.

The voluptuous Sybil Danning is apparently considered to be the chief attraction of this film for most viewers, but the plot also holds some inherent interest as a murder mystery. Unfortunately, the film is visually ugly and murky, and it's further hampered by a totally arbitrary, out-of-the-blue resolution. (**)

If I'd had a teacher at college who looked like Sybil Danning, I wouldn't have got much work done. Come to think of it, my teacher was a middle-aged man with a beard, and I still didn't get much work done. Aah, those lazy, hazy college days....

Eric Brown plays Jay Richard, the English student who gets to boff his beautiful, busty professor Diana in exchange for doing a few jobs: varnishing her yacht (not a euphemism) and sneaking into the home of her husband's mother and grandmother to scare the old women enough so that Diane and hubbie Michael (Andrew Prine) can be made executors of the estate. As is par for the course in this kind of trash, things don't go according to plan, with a masked murderer on the loose causing all sorts of problems for poor Jay.

The incredible Ms. Danning is the main reason to watch this otherwise lacklustre thriller, the hard-bodied hottie regularly stripping off to give us a good look at her amazing attributes. Without her to steam up the screen, the film would be largely forgettable, with a dumb plot that will have you screaming at Jay throughout, "Go to the police, NOW!" (but bang Diane one last time before you do).

What starts as a saucy slice of teenage wish-fulfilment slowly turns into a sub-standard '80s slasher, with the bodies piling up, and Jay teaming up with Diane to solve the mystery. The killer is fairly unimposing - far removed from unstoppable giants such as Jason and Michael Myers - and has a tendency to speak like Elmo from Sesame Street, which makes him even less scary.

Unmissable stuff for fans of its voluptuous, frequently naked female star, but as a thriller/horror, it's merely passable.

After recently viewing this somewhat forgotten 80's trashy movie. That's part mystery thriller, part slasher movie. The plot is quite interesting we get a student named Jay Richards who has an affair with his teacher Diana Stevens (Sybil Danning), but that's not all she and her husband want him to break into his elderly mothers house to scare them and of course that goes wrong when grandma pulls out a rifle and the young student runs away, and no sooner a masked stranger is already in the house ready to kill.

Okay this movie lacks logic and the storyline doesn't really make much sense, but the who dunnit angle does actually work, and I was geniually surprised when the killer is unmasked at the end. And the chemistry between Eric Brown and Sybil Danning was actually believable and spot on, and the sex scenes were probably the best thing about this movie. But there are several bad points to this movie, like for a start the pacing is quick enough and I did find myself getting bored at times and a lot of the performances were awful and the death scenes simply weren't up to scratch, they lacked imagination like the scene where the girl gets hit with a baseball bat, was just painful and not for the right reasons.

But there are a few small blessings in this movie, like Sybil Danning is just simply beautiful and has a gorgeous body, and one of the only cast members to make an actual effort and Eric Brown was okay he had the innocence wide boy routine rather well, despite some rubbish dialogue.

All in all "They're Playing With Fire" is not a terrible movie, in fact I found it quite fun and stupid at the same time, but I couldn't help that feel that if this movie was in more capable hands, then this could have been a hell of a lot better.

I have what I call "The Adrienne Barbeau Theorem," which is as follows: Big breasts, in and of themselves, are not enough reason to watch a terrible movie. Ironically, there are two movies that strongly test my theorem, and one of them is Adrienne Barbeau's "Swamp Thing." The other is an abysmal '80s slasher flick titled "They're Playing with Fire." Sybil Danning plays an English professor (so much for realism) who seduces one of her young students (Eric Brown) in order to make him a patsy in a murder plot in which she's involved. Despite its familiar ring, this plot line is several generations (not to mention quality points) removed from "Double Indemnity" and its ilk. In fact, the movie's slasher motif is so sordid, even for this genre, that it's painful to watch. The movie would be deservedly forgotten, were it not for Danning's astounding sex scenes.

These scenes, particularly the first one, are as jaw-dropping as anything you're likely to see in a mainstream, R-rated movie. While not as anatomically graphic as your average porn video, Danning in the altogether amply displays enough, er, enthusiasm to get her point across. In fact, she's so enthusiastic, you lose any sympathy for the kid she's seducing. Here's this gorgeous, buxom blonde twisting the night away on top of him, and he can't think of anything better to do than *make conversation* with her! Obviously, the kid needs an education in more than English.

Other than the all-too-brief scenes in which Danning demonstrates why a date with her would fetch a small fortune on an auction block, the movie's only element of interest is in seeing Alvy Moore, who played Hooterville county agent Hank Kimball on TV's "Green Acres," hitting a career low as a gas-station manager who's dumb enough to hire and re-hire the kid as an attendant even after he's dumped the job on the promise of some loot from Danning's English professor. The only thing that could have made this movie more bad-memorable would be to pair Danning with fluttery Hank Kimball: "Welcome to Hootersville, I mean Hooterville! Sorry, I was blinded by your headlights, I mean my car headlights. The car is strangely stacked, I mean built, I mean..."