Embalsamado

(**1/2 out of *****) In spite of some mediocre acting and a somewhat rambling storyline, this tasteless sickie has enough suspenseful and shocking scenes here and there to at least make it interesting. Christopher George (who was in several of these kinds of movies around this time) runs the title establishment, where he holds seances with community mothers and yells at his son (Bill Paxton!) for taking too long to embalm the cadavers. Mary Beth McDonough (from "The Waltons") plays a sleepwalking teenager who witnesses her father's murder (although no one believes her), and George's real-life wife, Lynda Day (who was in the awful "Pieces" with her hubby in the same year), plays her mother. Oh, and there's a creepy, pale-faced killer in a hood and cape running around stabbing and draining people with a large embalming needle. There are gratuitously prolonged shots of needles piercing stomachs, but there are also some genuine scares and a pretty good climax. Plus, you get Bill Paxton (who deserves the credit for this movie's two and a half stars) in an early, over-the-top performance, before he toned down for big-budget blockbusters (and yawn fests) like "Twister" and "Titanic." David Wallace plays McDonough's blonde-haired, beef-cake boyfriend, and, supposedly, Michael Berryman (from "The Hills Have Eyes") is in this thing, but I'll be damned if I spotted him.

HIGHLIGHT: Paxton, with full manic glee, conducts an imaginary Mozart symphony with an audience of dead bodies slumped in chairs behind him (the climaxes of both "Happy Birthday To Me" and "Madhouse" -- also ‘81 slasher films -- are curiously similar. I guess homicidal maniacs love an audience, dead or alive.)

Mortuary (1983)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

A woman and her boyfriend think that there's something strange going on at a local mortuary and she believes it might be linked to the mysterious death of her father. Before long they discover that the mortuary owner (Christopher George) and her mother (Lynda Day George) are holding seances there and might know more than they are saying.

If you walked into a horror film in 1983 then you were more than likely getting into a slasher picture. The slashers were all the craze during this period and it was rare to see a film that didn't try to push the gore factor. MORTUARY is a film that isn't the most popular thing today and it's probably because there's not too much gore and violence. Instead of that stuff this film tries to deliver suspense and drama and it's actually a lot better made than you'd expect.

What I enjoyed about this film is the fact that it really did try to build up an atmosphere and scare the viewer. The film takes it's time telling its story and the mystery aspect of it was pretty good. Even better are the scenes where the killer, dressed in black and wearing a white mask, stalks the young girl. There's a sequence where he chases her around her house and it's very well-directed and it manages to have a great jump scene. The film also benefits from not going the gore route, although there are a few bloody murders scattered throughout.

The film also benefits from some nice performances including Mary Beth McDonough and David Wysocki. They played the lead kids doing the investigating and they at least keep you entertained and hold your attention. Bill Paxton is also very good here in a supporting role as the weird nerd who works at the mortuary. I've always been a fan of Christopher George and he too is good here. This would turn out to be his final film as he suffered a fatal heart attack before this picture was released.

MORTUARY has some flaws including the pacing and I'd argue that the ending doesn't work as well as it should have. Still, on the whole I thought the film was quite entertaining and especially when compared to what most horror films were doing at the time.

After her father's mysterious death Christy suffers from sleepwalking and night terrors.Making things worse,no one beliefs her claims of a ghoul faced killer lurking in the shadows.When she learns her mother is in a coven of witches,Christy begins to distrust everyone in her life.It's up to Christy's boyfriend to save her from the hands of crazed embalmer played by Bill Paxton,who looks like black metal musician.Fairly decent slasher flick with several jolts of suspense and gruesome deaths.Not a lot of blood and gore,but plenty of breasts both living and cadaver to enjoy.The ending is kind of quick after all the build up,but it is also pretty surprising.Fans of early 80's slasher flicks should give this one a try.

I think perhaps you know your film is in trouble when you have to disguise it as something it is not. The cover on the video cassette when we rented this movie read, " Before your funeral, before that last shovel of earth is put over you...make sure you are really dead." That sounds intriguing. This makes me think I am going to watch a film about some sick b**tard who is going to attack (whoever) and then attempt to bury them alive. That sounds interesting to me, more than that, it sounds like a great premise for a horror film. But as I watched the film, I kept waiting for something, anything to happen. But it never does. And that is unfortunate because there are some great elements to the film that could lend it the credibility it needs to reach cult status. Bill Paxton has one of his first starring roles, you have the husband and wife team of Lynda and Christopher George and you have a good premise. What this film does not have is execution.

The film begins on a promising note. A man is murdered in his backyard in broad daylight. Next, two friends enter a warehouse to collect some tires that one says his former boss owes him. They begin to hear voices and decide to check them out. They end up seeing what looks to be a black magic ritual and leading this ritual is one of the kid's former boss. His name is Hank Andrews and played by Christopher George, he is ripe with suspicion from the outset. Is he the killer? He could be since he is performing the mumbo-jumbo with a bunch of ladies dressed in black cloaks.

Soon the boys separate and then one of them dies, without the other knowing. This sets up the rest of the film where everyone is trying to figure out what the hell is going on. We are introduced to Bill Paxton as the mortician's son and then there are the usual players in the hero and the heroine.

The problem with this film is that it is not scary enough for horror purists, not nearly enough gore for a film about embalmment and another major problem with the film is it tells you who the killer is about an hour into the film and then for the last half hour all you have is the hero trying to stop him. I don't mean to be cynical but even an episode of Scooby Doo doesn't reveal the villain until the final two minutes of the show. I think this ruins the film because up until that point I wasn't thrilled with the film but I wasn't bored either. But the last half hour of the film is just the killer playing Mozart and talking to his victims he is about to kill while they are in a catatonic state. I don't see how the director could possibly see this as interesting, freaky, scary or entertaining. There are just too many plots cavities to make this a real cheesy classic like some of the other horror quickies that were offered to us in the early 80's.

There are some good elements to the film, one of them being the music and the other being Bill Paxton's performance as a mortician's son who just happens to be a couple cans short of a six pack. First, the music reminded me of Friday the 13th overtures and it worked quite effectively here. The few times that there was a little tension in the film the music contributes nicely to it. I cannot say it is on par with some of the greats like Halloween, but it certainly isn't a nuisance. Secondly, Bill Paxton is just about the finest thing in this mess of a film. I know there are many people out there that happen to think that Bill Paxton is one of the most under-appreciated actors working today (I am one of them). Here he gets to ham it up for the camera. He has a few memorable scenes which some of the other reviewers have commented on. There is a scene that has him running through a cemetery with flowers in his hand that had me cracking up. Also his final few scenes where is talking to himself, you can see he is doing is absolute best to pull off what the screenwriters have doomed him to say, and he almost does it without looking like a complete idiot. Bill Paxton is a credit to the film and without him it may not even be as good as it is.

All in all Mortuary is a waste of time. Many films tried to cash in on the horror craze of the 80's and this was one of them. There is really nothing to remember about this film as it created more levity surrounding it than sheer terror. And although that is not it's only problem, it is a major one. There are some very good cheeseball horror films that have entered my V.C.R. Some of those include The Prey, The Burning, The Forest and The Beast Within just to name a few. These are the types of films that aren't going to win any Oscar's but they will grace the pages of Fangoria. And although you may find Mortuary in one of the back issues, even they would have to admit that this is an unfortunate misfire.

5.5 out of 10--It receives a passing grade because of the eerie music and Bill Paxton.

Okay so this isn't the greatest film in the world. It's not even the greatest horror film, but fans of Bill Paxton have got to check out this movie. Paxton puts his all into making every one of his characters entertaining and this film is no different. Bill really goes overboard with this character and it's a good thing because otherwise the movie would be pretty boring. My friends and I had to rewind one scene several times we were laughing so hard at Paxton antics. The film does contain a fair amount of suspense but it is "the great" Bill Paxton that makes the movie worth while.