Conan, o Destruidor

While the original 'Conan the Barbarian' was more dramatic, the sequel is played more for laughs. Nonetheless, it is still a highly entertaining sword and sorcery fantasy flick. The music is again outstanding and carries the movie where the dialogue fails. Of particular note is Wilt Chamberlain's impressive performance as the immense Bombatta. He has a tremendous screen presence, more than just his stature (plus he had to do his own stunts!).

There are lots of memorable scenes throughout the movie. Not a cerebral film, just good old-fashioned fantasy!

Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) offers Conan the barbarian (Arnold Schwarzenegger) to bring back his love Valeria back from the dead. Conan and his sidekick Malak (Tracey Walter) is to escort Taramis' virgin niece Jehnna (Olivia d'Abo) to find a key and a jewel horn. Her bodyguard Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain) accompanies them but Taramis tells him to double-cross Conan. On the way, Conan saves wizard Akiro (Mako) and Zula (Grace Jones) and they join the ragtag band of travelers.

It's sillier than the first movie. Its saving grace is that it's fun as long as you don't take it seriously. I think the dialog actually got more clunky. There is certainly nothing quite like this. Grace Jones looks crazy awesome. Mako and Tracey Walter are making jokes. Wilt Chamberlain is actually acting. At least he's not much worst than Arnie. Olivia d'Abo looks really pretty. This is one crazy group.

Boy, did this one take a wrong turn at Albuquerque! Although it's still pretty entertaining, it's played far too much for laughs.

Ahnuld is back, and this time he gets more dialogue, a big mistake. He sounds more than a little ridiculous with a large part of his dialogue. Instead of Gerry Lopez, we have Tracy Walter, a fine actor, but too comedic for this (yeah, he's the comic relief, but Conan shouldn't have comic relief). Mako is good and Sarah Douglas sizzles as always. Grace Jones, well, is Grace Jones. If you are looking for subtlety, look elsewhere. And, speaking of subtlety, there's "Wilt, the Stilt." As an actor, Wilt makes a great basketball player. Olivia D'Abo is cute, but little else.

The movie has its moments and the finale is pretty good, but there's a lot of junk in the middle. The fight between Conan and Toth-Amon (Pat "Bomber" Roach) is fantastic, but the campfire scenes after are just plain stupid. Tracy Walter's character gets annoying with the constant Shaggy and Scooby jokes (you know, "I'll wait here. Wait for me!"). The basic story is good and in keeping with Conan traditions, but it descends into camp at the worst times.

Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway were quite familiar with Conan, having written the character for Marvel Comics. How much of their story is in the final film is a puzzler. The elements that work are straight out of Howard and Roy Thomas' comics. The goofier stuff, who knows?

The first film was epic adventure. This is more of a glorified B-movie. It's fun when you have a group of friends together and can "MST3K" it; but as cinema, it's not 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Director Richard Fleischer has done better. Still, it's a great "guilty pleasure" film.

For fantasy-geeks like myself, this 1984 outing of the legendary swordsman is an interesting mix of highs and lows. The cinematography, costumes and settings are a high-point, remaining loyal to Frazetta's incredible illustrations.

Gone, unfortunately, is the first film's solid, adult screenplay. Howard's original, "Nietzschean" Conan is watered-down here, the director deciding to play for laughs (but Conan and his world just is'nt comedic).

Like the dialogue, the casting is sometimes hit and miss. Although Grace Jones (as the wild warrioress Zula) has been criticized as "over the top", she puts in a solid, believable performance. Sarah Douglas also shines as Queen Taramis, although we don't see enough of her! Arnie is adequate, as is Mako (who reprises his role here as a helpful wizard).

The film suffers most from poor special effects (an unforgivable crime for fantasy lovers)! It looks like they spent most of the budget on actors and settings, but even by 1980s standards, the monsters Conan faces were absurd.

Lessons were not learned, ending with the debacle of "Red Sonja" a year later. Arnie admitted that film to be "the worst he ever made". "Destroyer" amounts to harmless entertainment, lacking conviction, but watchable all the same.

I have been captivated by Conan's heroic fantasy world for many years. For this reason alone I am rating this film as 6/10. Do not expect a continuation of the first Conan film. 'Conan The Destroyer' is too light in its scope and Conan is not the same man anymore. The villains are also not as menacing.

Having said that it was good to see Grace Jones and Sarah Douglas and also Conan's companions had good lines and were very funny at times.

As a side note I found the adjective 'Destroyer' in the title quite misleading and unfortunate. For those of us that read the Conan novels we see Conan driven by his own motivations, and fighting his battles only if he had to and not for the sake of destroying. The film distributors could have picked something else to promote the movie.