- Dry Goods Clerk: You wanna buy that dress for a cook?
- Leonard Hatch: If it's all right with you.
- Dry Goods Clerk: Crazy. I never heard of men buying women's clothes before!
- Leonard Hatch: [looking around, secretivly] Pst, hey. There are no women. The cook just likes to dress up like one!
- Sheriff Emmet: What's your name?
- Leonard Hatch: Me?
- Sheriff Emmet: Uh huh.
- Leonard Hatch: Roger B. McDivett, sir.
- Sheriff Emmet: What's the B stand for?
- Leonard Hatch: Bananas.
- Hospital Attendant: Oh, Excuse me, Mr. Kahn, Luncheon is served
- Leonard Hatch: In Xanadu did I, a stately pleasure dome did decree. And there, from force of habit, I only dine with royalty.
- Hospital Attendant: Your Majesty, your knights await.
- Leonard Hatch: And my days, as well.