Mahogany, a morena explosiva

This movie is a roller-coaster of camp, from start to finish. It is like a bunch of gay men sat down to figure out how to dress up Diana Ross and put her in different outfits all done to a never-ending loop of Diana's own song. The montage of Diana as fashion model is perhaps one of the funniest and campest scenes in a movie, and of course was copied almost shot for shot for the Beyonce montage scene in "Dreamgirls". It has to be seen to be believed.

But no-one can inspire a drag queen like Ms. Ross who never lets plot or story-line interfere with her chances to soft pout or give us long enigmatic looks. The good thing is the plot and story-line is so thin and transparent, she doesn't have to struggle too much. The storyline is simple....girl from the projects with big dreams leaves behind the bleakness of Chicago as she is "discovered" by Anthony Perkins who can't quite figure out if he is gay in the movie (as he was in real life) or straight. He veers from camp to psychotic misogynist sometimes in the same scene. The result is unintentional hilarity.

Part of the rags to riches subplot (if you can call it that) is the Billy Dee Williams character who we know is the true love of Ms.Ross. He is a local activist in Chicago who runs for political office. This part of the story is boring, because Diana isn't dressed up and mincing though every scene. It is also boring because Billy Dee's character is almost as clichéd as the rest of the story. Fighting the white honky sometimes with words but sometimes with fists. He is down-to-earth and hard-working as well as fearless. We are supposed to want him to win. Ms.Ross makes a decision that happiness trumps fame and glory and that is the end...or kind of the end. Actually I don't remember the story, because the camera barely moves from Ross the whole time.

If you love high camp then this movie is for you. At one point Diana Ross says, "I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.." Oh Diana, you are. You are doing the right thing. Fun fact, some of the frocks on display were designed by Ms. Ross, and the whole camp drag-show was put together by her then lover, Berry Gordy.

This move is camptastic!

Poor inner-city girl (Diana Ross) just wants to be a successful fashion designer but can't get a big break. She finally does get a break, not as a designer but as a model. She becomes world famous and eventually gets the chance to show the world her designs. Oh, and there's some stuff about an up-and-coming politician (Billy Dee Williams) she loves and a homosexual photographer (Anthony Perkins) who "understands the needs of a woman."

Cheesy kitsch from Berry Gordy. The story is trite and the performances are mostly unimpressive. Anthony Perkins does ham it up, which is the primary reason to recommend this. Once his character is gone the movie goes downhill fast. Also features B-movie legend Nina Foch and the film debut of Bruce Villanch. Diana Ross shows her limitations as an actress but at least she does so in hilariously awful fashion. Speaking of fashion, don't eat before seeing this movie or you might lose your lunch at the sights of some of the terrible dresses on display. It was the '70s, baby. Diana sings the theme song ("Do You Know Where You're Going To") that plays throughout the movie. It didn't impress me much at first but damned if it wasn't stuck in my head by the end. It's not a good movie but there is so-bad-it's-good value.

Watch for the ghetto photo shoot scene. As Diana and Billy Dee argue there's this background actor in between them whose eyes just go from one actor to the other as they say their lines like he's watching a tennis match. All of the other actors behind them look away from them, pretending they aren't talking loudly right in front of everybody. But not this guy. I don't know if he was an actual actor or an extra or what but sticking him in the middle of the scene turns a dramatic scene into comedy. A perfect example of the kind of quality that went into making this.

Tracy is a secretary and display worker at a large Chicago department store, but she wants to be a fashion designer. Brian is running for alderman hoping he can improve his struggling neighborhood. Photographer Sean thinks Tracy should be a model named Mahogany, and he claims to like her fashions.

I thought Diana Ross did a good job, somewhat charming, very determined to succeed despite obstacles and not willing to let anyone stand in her way. She and Billy Dee Williams were good together. Anthony Perkins started out normal but ended up crazy, which is no surprise considering his most famous role. I liked the theme song and the jazz that was played in some scenes where Sean and Tracy were together. The movie started out good but took a sharp turn downhill about halfway through and showed promise of recovering but didn't really deliver. That's not to say there wasn't quality work, but I just wasn't impressed.

The movie's primary lesson seems to be that success does not always bring happiness. I can say this without a warning because the movie starts with Tracy being a success at something (it's not clear just what) and returns to her days before being 'discovered'.

The fashionable word for Mahogany is "kitsch." It's a guilty pleasure that you know is bad, but you just can't help enjoying it. Casting Diana Ross as a fashion model was truly inspiring since it gives her an opportunity to look sensational throughout. This she does with little effort. Billy Dee Williams is fine as her idealistic boyfriend intent on changing the world rather than his clothes, but the most fun is provided by Anthony Perkins whose performance could be subtitled "Norman Bates's Greatest Hits." As the neurotic and gay photographer, he chews the scenery like never before, and gives a sensational performance.

This slick but predictable tale of fashion-world fame resembles, by turns, a diluted version of Valley of the Dolls. Only in this valley, the only doll is black beauty Diana Ross, piloting the whole vanity vehicle like a Sherman tank. She plays Tracy Chambers, a gorgeous secretary from the mean streets of Chicago who finds fame and fortune (but alas--poignant sniffle--not happiness) as Europe's top model/designer, Mahogany ("Meeeee! Mahogany!"). As her lovely theme song flows from the soundtrack, Ms. Ross throws a tantrum in a fountain (which ends up on a Revlon billboard); does a wax-covered striptease; and wears a number of eye-popping, often hideous fashions that she designed herself, including a Sea Monkey costume and a sugar glider made out of pantyhose. But ultimately, what she really wants is love--as does every woman is this sort of film since the invention of the movie camera.

Limp though it may be, there is some enjoyment to be had for camp devotees. The photography and music are breathtaking. The cast looks great; the acting is okay, considering that everyone is forced to mouth silly, soapy dialogue about love and selfishness. There are a fair number of unintentional laughs, too, but by the end, you just won't care anymore. Really, Mahogany is about audience gratification. Basically, the film tells us that success is "Nothing But Heartaches" (to quote Diana--sorry, couldn't resist), so you may as well stay home and clean the oven. And if you believe that idiocy, I've got some prime Florida realty to sell you.