Eskimo Nell

The writer of this film is Michael Armstrong. He was also director/writer of a previous Tigon film 'The Haunted House of Horror'. During the making of that film he experienced some very unpleasant run-ins with an individual representing AIP (the American distributors). This resulted in Michael's script being re-written and a very different film to his original concept being produced as the end product. This film 'Eskimo Nell' parodies those experiences. Listen to Michael's voice over in the 'extras' section of the DVD of 'Haunted House of Horror' for a graphic description of his experience and learn who some of the characters in 'Eskimo Nell' actually represent!

This is a very rare creature indeed--a British sex comedy that is actually funny! This movie, probably inspired by Mel Brook's original version of "The Producers" is about three young men--an aspiring director (played by "Mark of the Devil" director Michael Armstrong), his virginal penguin-obsessed screenwriter, and the screenwriter's lothario flat-mate--who are all trying to break into the British film industry. They meet a sleazy producer (Roy Kinnear) who wants to make a film version of the famous bawdy poem "Eskimo Nell". To raise the money though he gets them to sell three very different versions of the movie to three different backers: a foul-mouthed American ("Big Dick")who wants to make a hardcore porn movie, another guy who wants to make a "kung-fu musical" to showcase the two "talents" of his girlfriend, and an arty dilettante who wants to make a gay Western ("with a lot of bottom smacking") featuring his transvestite boyfriend.

It gets worse when the producer runs off with the money, and the director has to find a fourth backer (simply to avoid the lawsuits), and goes to his society girlfriend's mother (no doubt modeled on puritanical British busybody Mary Whitehead)who runs a "decency" society and wants to make a clean family film! Needless to say, the whole thing goes horribly, horribly awry. Reels from the different versions get mixed up, a guy's willie gets caught in a clapboard, and one character delivers the immortal line: "What's my motivation for having an erection?" The movie is quite funny both in its conception and in its execution. It doesn't slather on the naked dolly birds quite as much as a lot of other British sex comedies of the era perhaps, but an almost unrecognizable Mary Millington does show for a 10-second "Benny Hill"-style speeded-up striptease.

As far as the sex goes, this probably won't inspire all the hairy-palmed Michaelangelos out there to turn their ceilings into a scummy Sistine Chapel, but it is definitely FUNNY and pretty entertaining, which is a lot more than can be said of the vast majority of these films.

Although touted as an "X" rated British sex comedy from the early 1970's this film is really a satire of adult film making. Obviously, given the subject matter, there is nudity but it is tame by contemporary standards. The presence of many mainstream British comedy actors correctly implies that this is largely a comedy.

A trio of would be film makers try to launch a production. Would be director Dennis Morrison (Michael Armstrong, who also wrote the film), would be producer Clive Potter (Terence Edmond) and would be screenwriter Harris Tweedle (Christoper Timothy) team up with low rent producer Benny U. Murdoch (Roy Kinnear). Murdoch hopes to make the movie, based on the naughty poem Eskimo Nell, with his favorite star Gladys Armitage (Diane Langton), she of the really big breasts, but first must raise the money. He has three interested parties who are each willing to put up a third of the money. Big Dick (Gordon Tanner) is a loud American producer who wants a "hard core" version, featuring a laundry list of perversions, and starring his "friend" Billie Harris (Beth Porter). Financier Ambrose Cream (Richard Caldicot) wants a kung fu musical version starring his "friend" Millicent Bindle (Prudence Drage). Similarly financier Vernon Peabody (Jeremy Hawke) wants a gay western version starring his "friend" Johnny (Raynor Burton). Its up to the trio, principally writer Tweedle, to come up with the three scripts required to raise the money. Unfortunately Benny U. Murdoch is not to be trusted with money. The trio, already on the hook to deliver three films, have to get money for a fourth version from Lady Longhorn (Rosalind Knight). She, the leader of a moral reform group, wants to produce a morally uplifting family film starring her children Hermione (Katy Manning) and Jeremy (Christopher Biggins). We then proceed to make four completely different versions on one budget! Lady Longhorn, proud of her version, arranges a Royal Performance. Obviously, with four distinctly different versions, one can foresee the misunderstandings arising from getting the correct print to the premiere.

Roy Kinnear is somewhat "over the top" in the best sense of the phrase. Michael Armstrong comes off best in his scenes showing the actual filming of the versions. In the early scenes Christopher Timothy presented as a virgin (in the sexual sense) "bird" lover (in the penquin sense) but there is no payoff. Gordon Tanner is constantly aggravated by his mindless "friend" Beth Porter. Rosalind Knight is fine, albeit in a typecast role, but her son Christopher Biggins is memorable. The balance of the performers are generally adequate.

The enjoyment of this film is likely to depend, in part, on your film knowledge. Anyone who has responded to the advertisements of the film's "X" rating will be disappointed by the tame topless displays. On the other hand anyone who is up on the "urban legends" of movie business will recognize many elements. The seedy producer (Benny U. Murdoch is a B.U.M.) trying to raise money from multiple backers (i.e. Mel Brook's The Producers). The writing of multiple versions of the scripts to turn one story into four films. The numerous "friends" of the potential backers. The performances (i.e. Beth Porter stealing her character from Jean Hagen in Singin' In The Rain) and take offs on actual characters (Gordon Tanner is a great Darryl Zanuck/Jack Warner, "Will you shut up and let me yell in peace!"). They even satirize the conventions of the "caper" movie in trying to get the right version of Eskimo Nell for the Royal Performance.

I probably rated the movie higher than the average man on the street because I recognized and appreciated elements such as these. I believe that the film is an acceptable "time waster" for any viewer but will be more fully appreciated by film buffs.

Nobody could claim that this is a great film, but it is amusing and does portray well a certain moment in time in the British film industry. It is well enough made, indeed, this is the second feature from the man who would later direct the recent, Casino Royale and The Legend of Zorro and he certainly establishes something of a CV for himself with this. A keen group are out to make a film and a greasy executive/agent ably played by Roy Kinnear helps them raise the finance. Unfortunately everybody who can invest will invest only if the film is of the particular genre he wants and includes his latest girlfriend or even boyfriend in one instance. This means numerous versions have to be made and Cambpell certainly has fun here. For us though most of the fun is in the original setting up with interviews and casting. There is plenty of nudity but it is not in your face and as they say, essential in the script. One particular tableaux presumably for the porno version is well done and a cry from one of the more pretentious thespians is classic; 'But what is the motivation for my erection?' Stars the writer of this and director of Mark of the Devil, Michael Armstrong, who also worked with Pete Walker.

This is not one of those tacky seventies sex comedies. It's tacky, it's definitely seventies but don't expect the usual gratuitous nudity. Allegedly this is a witty criticism of the state of the British film industry - although 'witty' is quite an exaggeration.

Director Martin Campbell eventually ended up making some of the world's biggest blockbusters but you'd never guess from this. In his defence, this was only his second film and the budget he had seemed to be financed by a couple of books of green shield stamps.

Although now this feels like a pilot for a late night seventies ITV sitcom, it's not without merit. It's plot is quite funny but its amateurish production and less than clever writing really lets this down. Since this thinks it's a cut above the typical seventies sex-com it really should have demonstrated that claim but it doesn't. Perhaps I was expecting something which actually lived up its reputation?

What is unforgivable is that for the first eleven minutes Katy Manning hasn't made an appearance yet! Dr Who fans will of course know that Katy Manning was the most gorgeous 'companion' ever, if not the sexiest woman ever to appear on tv. She doesn't have the biggest part, sounds like she's got laryngitis but she brightens the whole thing up. That's needed because despite it being a comedy, there's no sense of fun in this. The characters are either cold and uninteresting or unlikeable. Nobody on screen seems to be enjoying themselves so neither does the audience.

My poor review might just be because this isn't my kind of picture - give me some Marx Brothers any day!