The Gardener

Last night I saw this film, which missed the possibilities of developing an interesting story, with endless dialogs and bad performances. But I wouldn't put the blame on Joe Dallesandro. After all he plays a tree or something like that, so he delivers his line as plant-like as possible. He is a beautiful tree to look at, though, and I believe this is what this film is all about, including his legendary derrière. Poor Katharine Houghton tries to deliver a dramatic performance in the line of a giallo fatal heroine to no avail; James Congdon as her husband is rather boring (especially with Little Joe around), and Rita Gam is simply having a good time. I lived in Puerto Rico when this film was shot, but I did not hear anything about it being made. It was fun to watch a few theater people that were my friends, playing minor roles (Esther Mari, the cook; or Orlando Rodríguez and Janet Gómez as the couple Houghton visits).

Warhol entourage beefcake Joe Dallessandro portrays Karl, a gardener in the employ of a wealthy but neglected housewife(Katharine Houghton, miles downstream from her earlier success in GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER). His command of the botanical arts is impressive, but his references are tough to check considering most of his previous employers have died. Suspiciously.

Houghton's garden is soon the envy of her upper-crust clique, and her reserved and perpetually bare-chested gardener becomes the object of much lustful flutter among her female friends. The household staff(native to the South American environs where this is set and filmed) are less enthusiastic about Karl's presence, and they warn their housemistress of his evil wizardry. Shrugging off this superstitious cautioning, she becomes increasingly drawn to Karl...but when people around her begin to die mysteriously, she comes to suspect a tenebrous connection to the flora cultivated by her brooding and sexually Svengali-like greenskeeper. The bizarre eventuality of this mystery is the manifestation of Karl's true nature. It seems he is...quite literally...a tree.

While THE GARDENER is a semi-creditable example of an under-the-radar horror film ethos, it's not likely to have strong appeal to a mainstream viewing integer. Sluggishly paced and lacking 'comme il faut' shocks and bloodshed, it does otherwise manage to build an obfuscous atmosphere of weblike mystique.

A mellow horror high for some, probably a harsh toke for others...5/10

This film has 5+ names so it took me a while to find it streaming on Prime. It's a hard film to review because most of the actors are actually good? They're accomplished stage actors and you can tell. The beautiful elephant in the room is a shirtless Joe Dallesandro who slinks through various scenes like he's in a porno...but I'm blaming that on the unexperienced director since we know Little Joe can/could do more than that.

Unfortunately the story is incredibly boring. Even the lowest budget film can be a fun watch if the plot moves at a good clip but this just meanders along, making it feel interminable. It's good acting with bad writing and directing.

Katharine Houghton ("Guess Who's Coming to Dinner") stars as Ellen Bennett, a well-to-do American living in Costa Rica. She makes a big mistake when she hires the hunky but mysterious "Carl" (Joe Dallesandro, "Flesh for Frankenstein") as her gardener. The man has a "green thumb", to put it mildly, and soon the Bennett estate is overflowing with lush vegetation. However, Ellen finally wises up and realizes that there's something really "off" about this guy.

"The Gardener", a.k.a. "Seeds of Evil", is a flat, disappointing "horror" film from writer-director James H. Kay. It was the only feature film he ever got around to making, and it's no surprise. It's pretty much a dud, albeit one that I *wanted* to enjoy more than I did. It's rather a wash as a horror film, even in uncut form (although this is partly because it's too dark to really see the nastiest bits). And the horror really only occurs towards the end, when Ellen is concerned about the behavior of her visiting niece (Cass Fry, in *her* only film credit).

Houghton is sincere and fairly appealing, although the viewer will likely get annoyed over her clueless nature. Ellens' husband John (James Congdon, "4D Man") is at least more wary of Carl than she is, but he never really does anything about it. Dallesandro is of course as boring as always, although if one is a fan, they'll appreciate how well his physical attractiveness is played up - most of the time he parades around topless, and he even has a few nude scenes. The only real standout here is Rita Gam ("Klute") as Ellens' friend Helena.

Although pleasures to be had watching this are few and far between (Kay can't even deliver a great ending), it *does* have a haunting score composed by Marc Fredericks, some fun local color (it was actually filmed in Puerto Rico), and some amusing psychedelic touches.

It's not one I'd recommend, unless your curiosity gets the better of you.

Four out of 10.

I picked this movie up in the USED section at my local Record shop and I have to say, by the cover artwork and synopsis on the back, I was excited to take it home and pop it in. The whole project is really well-done in that way. But that's about it. The film was very 70's, which for me, is a good thing. For most viewers though, this would prove to be a cheesy example of an era that might be better off forgotten. The music is pretty bad and so are the clothes. It's not stylish, its like the Brady Bunch.

There is no good gore in this movie. The acting is decent and the guy who plays "The Gardener" is semi-creepy, but the plot just fails. It's not scary in the least bit and the only good scene in the film is the very last one.

I had high hopes, I really did. I wanted to like it more, and I still do. I've watched it three times now and I still fail to see how this is a horror movie. It's more like an off-beat romantic drama with a twist. If I had to compare it to something else, I'd say a mix between "Rosemary's Baby," "Play Misty for Me," and "Alice in Wonderland" (the live one) but not as good as any of those films.

4 out of 10, kids.