Vampira

Though it has been several years since I saw this film, I recall enough to wish I could find it on video..or better DVD.

I happen to like David Niven and found this film rather enjoyable. I would expect that one would need to be able to grasp some of the subtle humor that a good number of Britcoms are known for to really enjoy some of the more funny bits.

Almost so bad it's brilliant, this is one of the more strange versions of Dracula. Set in London in the seventies we see an older Dracula (David Niven) hosting parties for young people at his castle. He's searching for suitable blood to bring his former lover Vampira (Teresa Graves) back to life. Only trouble is when it works she is now black much to Dracula's distaste. They must try again with the help of Marc (Nicky Henson) who unwillingly gets samples of blood from girls.

It's certainly a camp version of the Dracula story, but it has a certain charm and is obviously being played for laughs.

David Niven has a role that is clearly beneath his stature (in his first scene, he is reading a Playboy magazine), and Clive Donner's direction is almost embarrassingly crude (the dreadful copy I saw made it look even worse than it is, but it's crude nonetheless). Still, the movie has some unexpectedly clever lines (Dracula's assistant to his master: "I cross my fingers, sir" - Dracula's response: "I'd rather you didn't"), and (don't crucify me for this) I really found it more enjoyable than Polanski's overrated "Fearless Vampire Killers" - mainly because it has no pretensions of greatness. (**)

This movie often gets accused of being a "Young Frankenstein" rip-off, but the producers only altered the title from "Vampira" into "Old Dracula" to cash in on the tremendous success of Mel Brooks horror spoof. The truth is that "Vampira" got filmed prior to "Young Frankenstein" and it also can't hold a candle to that film, as this is a truly poor and almost pitiable attempt at comedy. The great cast, including David Niven and Peter Bayliss, do whatever they can, but Clive Donner's direction is uninspired and especially Jeremy Lloyd's screenplay is anemic and almost entirely devoid of laughs and creativity. In Transylvania, Count Dracula and his male servant Maltravers are hosting tourist tours in the old castle, and every once and a while this also allows them to restorage their blood reserves. When a group of Playboy models visits the castle, they discover that one of them has the same and extremely rare blood type of Dracula's deceased wife Vampira. But, as mandatory in lame comedy, the samples get mixed up and the count's beloved wife resurrects as a feisty black girl. Reason enough for the old-fashioned Count to travel to swinging London where his conservative life-style naturally conflicts with the free-spirited mentality. The best parts of the films are the dialogs between Niven and Bayliss, and even those are lukewarm at best. Everything else is downright pathetic, with as absolute low points Dracula's "night on the town" and the predictable finale with atrocious make-up effects.

Someone, please, bite THEM and put them out of their misery....really bad acting, really bad plot, yuck, yuck, yuck! yucky! This one is just so bad I can't believe that David Niven even lent himself to starring in this. He must have been short on cash to star in this dog. Oh, and the music! It's this music that is really trying to be hip and disco, don't forget, this was made in 1974, the start of the disco era. There are not enough words to say how bad this movie is, but I keep having to say them because IMDB will not let me post unless I have 10 lines! Please, if you see this advertised on TV, do not watch! It is a big waste of your time. Unless you are stoned or something and then maybe you would laugh your head off. Otherwise, stay away! On a scale of 10, I give it a 0!