Cycle Vixens

This movie is what you would get if you crossed Easy Rider with Thelma and Louise, and had a 14-year old write the script. The ending is so odd that I sat in my bean bag frozen in awe of it's sheer lunacy. I only wish enough of you would see this movie to actually make the Worst Movie List, but doing so would probably double the total viewers who have ever seen this film.

OK, there are those likely to pan this movie as intolerable and unwatchable. I'd like to point out that they've probably seen it on VHS released as "Cycle Vixens" (the original title was the more poignant "Young Cycle Girls".) In that case they are to be excused. The poor editing (I suspect the dub comes off of late night TV) ruins the true beauty of this film. No film demands the unedited, seen-at-a-drive-in experience quite like this one. Three young beauties living in suburban hell decide to throw caution to the wind and ride their cycles to California (beaches, boys and beer!). En route they encounter peeping toms - whom the girls at first happily grant a free look, then berate the dirty pervert (something they may regret later), corrupt cops, and junkie rapists. On the lighter side, they do have a blast at a 70's version of a water park, rock out to station 108 with groovy pot smoking teens, and have a laugh riot with Jerome and his morbidly obese girl. All the while the girls grow, both internally and externally. Although heartbreaking to watch them living in the cold, emotionally dead households they come from, you too shall be liberated with them as they open up like butterflies emerging from the cocoon while "cruisin down the road". The only reason to continue living for america's youth seems to be a glimpse of the pacific ocean, and these girls carry on their shoulders the hopes of America's 70's youth culture with great courage. Do they get to the promised land (or ocean)? Why do they regret mocking hulking semi-retarded perverts? Who is "cool Jinx" and is he really cool? I would tell you, but these are things you simply need to experience for yourself. If all you can find is the horrific, heavily edited VHS "Cycle Vixens", well you should watch it, but realize you're only catching the tip of the iceberg.

Three young girls living in a small Colorado town decide to take a trip on their motorbikes to California "to see the ocean". Two of the girls are sisters and go with the blessing of their widower father. The third has to sneak away from her strict parents. What follows is a long series of tragicomic misadventures. These "female hitchhiker" movies are one of my favorite 1970's exploitation genres(if they can really be called a "genre"). This is a little different in that the girls are on motorcycles rather than hitch-hiking, but otherwise this is in very much the same vein as movies like "Thumb-Tripping", "Girls on the Road", "Joyride to Nowhere", "The Hitchhikers", "Teenage Hitchhikers", etc. As in these other movie, there isn't so much a plot here as a random series of picaresque adventures.

This particular movie is really a confused mixture of feminism and exploitation. The girls get peeped on, molested, and even raped by about every guy they meet, but they also manage to stick together and eventually take revenge on all these loutish males. In some ways this very low-budget movie actually anticipates the later Hollywood blockbuster "Thelma and Louise". It's too low-budget and exploitative to quite be the feminist fantasy that movie was, but it's not entirely just a male fantasy either (despite the tight shorts and somewhat loose morals of the three protagonists). In a typical scene, for instance, two of the girls are rolling a number in a gas station bathroom when they see a male pervert spying on them, so they respond by flashing theirs breasts and asses at him (yeah, THAT'LL teach him). But after he (perhaps understandably) actually approaches them, they beat the hell out of him and run him off.

This movie definitely has its problems. It's even more low-budget than most of these type of films. The dialogue is very banal and the acting is atrocious. The single theme song gets very irritating and the end is both an egregious rip-off of a much more famous movie and is also very weak to boot. As an exploitation film it's pretty tame compared to some of the other "female hitchhiker" movies (like "Teenage Hitchhikers"),and it's definitely tame compared to many of co-director Bethel Buckalews other films (like "Sassy Sue" and "The Pigkeeper's Daughter"). Still, it's pretty unfair to criticize a low-budget movie simply for being low-budget. And while I'm not going to say it's technically a better movie than "Thelma and Louise", I find its confused message and its strange mixture of feminism and exploitation far more HONEST (with the exception of the crappy ending anyway) than that of the slicker, more "politically correct" Hollywood film.

Only gave it a 1 because there IS no zero on this scale.

I saw the movie on post at Fort Bliss in 1981, and I still can't get the horrible thing out of my head.

Pathetic acting, screen writing, directing, and continuity editing make this the quintessential icon for material that should never have been filmed.

Watch this movie once, and you'll never see another bad film again in your life.

For this reason and this reason alone, it is probably worth watching . . . ONCE.

Seeing it more often could be hazardous to your taste.

This movie is so bad, it's embarrassing. I think it's intended as a sort of morality fable on the dangers of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. But the story is so muddled it's hard to tell. I hope they did not pay someone to write the screenplay.

This might make good subject material for Mystery Science Theatre, or as something to giggle at while stoned. Other than that, don't bother.