The Bitch

Before she became Alexis Carrington Colby in "Dynasty", Joan Collins was Fontaine Khaled in "The Stud" and then "The Bitch", both based on novels by her sister Jackie Collins. You could consider this to be a genesis story...

It's been said by some reviewers in recent years that the film doesn't live up to it's title, and that Fontaine isn't really even a bitch at all, she's just a wealthy, liberated woman. But at the time the book and the film were released in 1979, in the wake of the feminist movement, this kind of woman was most certainly seen in that way. A manipulative ball breaker in a fur coat. It's an image that Collins has clung to ever since because it became her fortune. It's true that Fontaine is more of a bitch in the book, where the way in which she affects the people around her is more pronounced, but the film brings her to life in ways the book can't (basque, suspenders and all). Fontaine uses men for her own gratification (usually sex or money), is utterly monstrous to her employees (both domestic and business), she even seduces her own chauffeur then discards him the next day as a quick and disposable one-off, and (in the film version but not the book) she even schemes with the Mafia to make sure her best friend's horse loses a high stakes derby so she can profit from it herself. By today's standards, we've seen women behave far worse in film and television in the decades since "The Bitch" was made, with every wicked female character tripping over themselves to out-do their predecessors in all types of settings from soap operas to sci-fi. Every couple of years, a new one comes off the conveyor belt, desperate to make their mark by being more deplorable than the last. To be a bitch has become something a cliché. But back in 1979, Fontaine Khaled was at the forefront of that whole wave and very much the prototype for what later became Collins' most famous character; the queen bitch herself - Alexis Carrington Colby in the 1980s TV series "Dynasty". In fact, the two characters are virtually identical in almost every way. Both are the former wives of wealthy businessmen, both had extra-marital affairs and were divorced by their husbands after their infidelities were discovered, both live jetset lifestyles with their ample (if undeserved) divorce settlements, both are dressed and groomed to the nines, both are chauffeured around in Rolls Royces, and both are vengeful, man-hungry, devious, manipulative, glamorous and, of course, bitchy. It's surprising that author Jackie Collins never sued Aaron Spelling for plagiarism.

The Bitch was never high-brow cinematic art, nor was it ever trying to be, but it is now something of a semi-camp classic. Its lurid, shallow, and often quite silly. There are about a dozen named "sponsors" in the credits who supplied the film's outfits, jewels, cars and furniture, firmly stamping the word "consumerism" all over it. Coupled with the endless nudity and bedroom romps, it's the culmination of 1970s exploitation films. But it's also quite fun. It has a great disco soundtrack (if that's your thing), and a memorable opening credits sequence with Collins becoming the artificial creature she was born to be, her mask constructed step by step, before your very eyes. Artifice becomes artistry. And all to her very own theme song, naturally, because she's THE Bitch. Even viewed simply as a time-capsule of a hedonistic bygone era, it's a far more polished film than it's predecessor, "The Stud", which I find to be the lesser of the two (but that's just me). But watching Collins in BOTH films, during the lowest point of her career and stooping to do soft porn is something of a guilty pleasure in itself. Bear in mind this is years before Madonna was parading around in next to nothing and shaking her cakes at any camera that would pay her the slightest attention (her entire career was built on it). But more importantly, it's interesting to see how this springboarded Collins into her prize role on "Dynasty" two years later, and her subsequent ascension to showbiz royalty after the years she spent as a has-been B-lister who would do absolutely anything for the money. A prize role, incidentally, for which she was not the first choice and for which she probably wouldn't have even been considered if it wasn't for her portrayal of Fontaine Khaled. Additionally, this was only the third of sister Jackie Collins' novels to be adapted for the screen, and she too would rise to greatness in the decade that followed. As Jackie herself once said "It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it." Love them or hate them, you've got to smile at just how game the Collins sisters were back then.

Don't mire yourself in expectations set by present day standards, and just enjoy "The Bitch" for the occasionally fun ride that she (oooops), I mean *it* is. 5/10.

Unfortunately, "The Bitch" is neither campy enough nor trashy enough to live down to its sensational(istic) title. In fact, apart maybe from a pool-orgy sequence, it is rather quaint. Joan Collins' character is hardly even a bitch - she is just rich and liberated. She does get to flash her magnificent bare body, which should be enough to get a rise out of most viewers, but this film is more of a promo for disco music than anything else.

This movie begins where The Stud left off. Fontaine is down and out, but she has plans to get back on her feet again. She is an interesting character; rather complex and obviously driven by sexual desire. Maybe this desire is about pleasure, maybe it is about being in control of her life. She is a very determined woman who goes after what she wants with everything she has. This movie is worth seeing if you like Joan Collins (she is in top form!) or really strange and not very good movies. I happen to like all sorts of movies. I find lots of bad ones enjoyable! Joan Collins gets to wear a lot of excellent ensembles and she plays a very good bitch! There are some good scenes, but the intro music is really quite terrible. I was embarrassed for it. Other than that I think you should watch it with an open mind and revel in how random a movie can be.

Joan Collins seems to delight in filming some of the most trashy novels written by her sister Jackie, and playing the part of the most outrageous character in the book. How else can one explain her roles in the films of "The Stud" and its sequel "The Bitch"? Viewers comments in the IMDb database for "The Stud" probably say all that really needs saying about both of them. I find watching such films is rather like attending an unwanted disco party - it is painful whilst it lasts, and after it is over, I am left to ask myself what made me waste so much time doing something so futile. In the case of "The Bitch" this analogy is particularly appropriate as the lighting for much of the film is very like what one might expect to find at a disco, and is probably equally capable of leading to a headache. However there are usually short periods of enjoyment to provide some small consolation during even the most futile party. Watching this film, the consolation for me was a very short pool party which was free of psychedelic lighting effects and was not only more restful on the eyes but also quite amusing to watch. In consideration of this I will rate the film at two out of ten, rather than giving it only the one that it really deserves.

If you take "The Stud" as the height of the hedonistic campy and thrashy disco 70's then this is not your movie as it is a major let down.

Joan Collins revives her role as the hedonistic and sexually liberated Mrs. Fontain Khaled (read as "BITCH") is now divorced after her husband found incriminating evidence of her bonking Tony (The Stud.. if you remember) and is now doing every one in sight. She must be really bored with her sex life because in a few hours of her arrival in London she screws her driver????

And so the saga of sex and sin continues...and unfortunately the sex scenes in this movie can be summerised in one word.."AWFUL" The actors actually look so bored and lifeless it is amazing, plus there is the obligatory pool-orgy.

The only thing to ss in this movie is when the main titles roll, and as the title song comes on, we see Joan Collins without any make up (looking as pale as a milk ). As it continues she does a total make over and by the end completes looking like the BITCH she loves to play.

Worth only for die hard J.C. fans, but they may be disapointed.