- Richard DeVere: We're about to have another lecture, are we?
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: If that's what you want to call it...
- Richard DeVere: In that case, I'll be brief. I'm fed up to the back teeth with the way you keep rushing over here with some little quibble about the way I'm running this estate. I know for a fact that you have no real quarrel with the way I'm doing it, so why do you keep finding fault? I'll tell you why: firstly, because you want to prove to everybody that you're still Dame High-and-Mighty around here, and secondly, because you rather enjoy coming over here... to see me.
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: Oh, there's a note attached. "My mother and I would be so pleased if you could spend Xmas day with us at the Manor." "Xmas" - makes it sound like a skin complaint.
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: "Since the death of her husband, Audrey has left Grantleigh Manor and moved down the drive." They think I live in a pothole!
- The Rector: For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful.
- [Marjory stifles a laugh]
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: Marjory?
- Marjory Frobisher: Sorry! Um, got a bone in my throat.
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: Do watch out for bones, everybody. You can't be too careful with avocadoes.
- Marjory Frobisher: I was surprised to hear she'd got married at all, I mean she wasn't very attractive, was she?
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: Oh, let's not mince words, Marjory, she had a face like a ship's boiler.
- Richard DeVere: When I say I want to know all about pig-breeding, I want to know the full facts. All you've told me here is that pigs are dirty little pink things which go 'Oink!'
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: [Audrey and Brabinger have started their homemade honey business and are tasting their product] We've made a start. From now on we can only expand.
- Brabinger: Especially if we keep eating the honey, madam.
- Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: [laughs] We don't want you to get stuck in the front door like Winnie the Pooh, do we?