- Joey Popchik: When a man says what's right, what's good, what's real, and what's true, then his mouth is ten feet tall.
- Doctor: Mrs. Popchik, as you know, the eye is the second most sensitive organ on the human body. Your young daughter's eye muscles are extremely weak. They can barely hold up what she sees. If any part of the human body has a tendency to break down, I'm afraid the eyes have it.
- Jinks Murphy: Hey, don't tell me my business. I've taped more hands than you've got in your whole head.
- Dr. Bowers: One minute you're standing in the wings, and the next minute you're wearin' 'em.
- Dr. Bowers: Spats, you've got six months to live.
- Spats Baxter: [Stunned] Six months from now.
- Dr. Bowers: From your last visit. That was five months ago.
- Spats Baxter: Four weeks to live. Thirty days.
- Dr. Bowers: This is Februrary, Spats.
- Joey Popchik: With the woman that you love at your side to stand behind you, a man can move mountains with his bare heart.
- Joey Popchik: It was the late great Gloves Malloy who said how hard it is to say what there are no words for.
- Spats Baxter: Say, do you think you could write a Broadway score?
- Dick Cummings: Oh, it's been my lifelong dream, for years!
- Joey Popchik: Gentlemen of the jury, the state cries out that the murder of Gloves Malloy be avenged. It cries so loud that I finished law school as fast as I could so that poetic justice could be served and so that I personally could prosecute the man responsible, Vince Marlowe.
- Joey Popchik: Fightin's for suckers. I'm goin' to night school to be a lawyer. These hands are for readin' books.
- Hood: Here we are in the country, Mr. Marlow.
- Announcer: Fight with them! Laugh with them! Love with them! And even die with them the death of heroes who will live forever!
- Vince Marlow: The thing of it is...
- [Chuckles]
- Vince Marlow: I don't keep that kind of cash around.
- Joey Popchik: You got it, and I want it!
- Vince Marlow: That's right. I got it and you want it and you'll get it when I give it! Got it?
- Taxi driver: Thirty cents.
- [after getting a $10 bill]
- Taxi driver: I can't break a ten, mister.
- Spats Baxter: Don't break it - enjoy it.
- Jinks Murphy: Boss, I can't hold up the overture any longer! What shall I do?
- Spats Baxter: Hold up the overture.
- Doctor: Spats, it may not show up on the x-ray, but your heart is pure silk too.
- Host: The La Chez Maison is proud to present, in her eighth month, Miss Troubles Moran!