Matilda

I knew exactly what I was getting into with Matilda. I knew it was a movie starring Elliott Gould as the manager of a boxing kangaroo. It was the most absurd premise I'd ever heard, but since it was Robert Mitchum's time as Star of the Week on Hot Toasty Rag, and since he's one of my favorite celebrity boyfriends, I wanted to show my loyalty by watching every movie of his I could get my hands on. My logic was, if he had to suffer through making such a terrible movie, the least I could do was support him by watching it.

Well, I made it through twenty minutes. It took that long for Robert Mitchum-who, thank goodness, got the respectful "and" in the credits-to show up. He's attending a fight featuring Matilda the boxing kangaroo, and he looks at a publicity poster outside the event. "That is absolutely preposterous," he says in his fantastic voice. I agreed with him so very much. I could practically hear his spirit whisper over my shoulder, "Honey, you've seen 74 of my movies. You don't have to sit through this one." So, I fast-forwarded through all the scenes Bob wasn't in. I still managed to see a man in a kangaroo costume hop around a boxing ring, Elliott Gould act like an idiot, and Clive Revill pretending the man-kangaroo is his family. I felt so sorry for director Daniel Mann, who once directed heavy dramas like Come Back, Little Sheba and Hot Spell. The only bright part of the movie was Robert Mitchum's beautifully thick, wavy hair.

Extremely bad, deservedly one of the biggest financial disasters of the decade. There was little potential in a supposed feel-good kiddie movie about a boxing kangaroo trying to beat the human world champion, but it didn't have to be this bad. For instance, they could have trained a real kangaroo instead of using a ham actor in a cheap, heavy, molting kangaroo suit that bears no resemblance to an animal, even with the animatronic facial expressions. And if you've ever wondered why Elliot Gould's career tanked in the late seventies, this is a big reason. He tries to make up for the bad kangaroo by hamming it up and desperately trying to be cute. And they didn't have to have such an annoying, sexist romance subplot either.

Incredibly bad, but not enjoyably bad like an Ed Wood film. For serious Bad Film buffs only.

The main problem as I see with Matilda is that there is no sense of enchantment in what is clearly a most improbable tale. The film would have to be handled that way for any chance of success.

Matilda is a tale written in the 30s by Paul Gallico updated for the current 70s times. In it Clive Revill who is the only one in the cast to sense that this should be a fantasy in his performance tells the tale of how he came to America from Great Britain with a trained boxing kangaroo. The beast has a punch like Dempsey and no one can stand up to him.

Elliott Gould who sees possibilities here as an animal act agrees to be their agent. One night the real heavyweight champion who's had a few steps in the ring. Larry Pennell gets nailed and goes down for the count. The act is made.

It's also not pleasing to mobster Harry Guardino who controls Pennell. The best scenes in the film are some of his inept hitmen trying to carry out a contract on a kangaroo. Things are most pleasing to sportswriter Robert Mitchum who wants to take Guardino down.

In Lee Server's book on Robert Mitchum, actor/stuntman Gary Morgan who got into the kangaroo suit to play Matilda said that the producers actually tried to convince critics this was a real kangaroo. The littlest kid out there could see that wasn't the case and they roasted the film.

It sure didn't help trying to put over a lie like that. But there's more to it. I think that it might have worked with some special effects and an animated Matilda. Even with that though Matilda still would have had a long way to go to succeed as fantasy.

This film's problems are numerous and in your face from the get-go. Start with the ridiculous toupee worn by the British former champion who owns Matilda, the boxing kangaroo. Matilda is a guy in a fur suit. He looks less like a real kangaroo than I look like a blue whale. The script and dialogue are pure garbage. But Elliot Gould, who had just done Nashville, The Long Goodbye and A Bridge Too Far and was still considered a star, read the script and thought it was fine, which shows how bad his judgment was. This was the beginning of the end for his career, which was probably inevitable since he was always a talentless hack anyway. To say Gould embarrasses himself here would be an understatement.

I suppose this was intended as a kid's film, but I saw it when I was about 8 years old and I hated it then too. What a piece of crap.

There are many, many examples of wonderful classic Hollywood actors appearing in films that are total garbage....and you wonder why Clark Gable would star in "Parnell" or Gene Kelly in "Xanadu" or Cary Grant in "It All Came True". I don't know if they had agents who were out of their minds or the studios were holding loved ones captive in order to force the actors to make these dreck films...but in yet another example, somehow Robert Mitchum starred in "Matilda"...and you wonder WHY!

"Matilda" is the story of a boxing kangaroo...and this one dons boxing gloves and boxes people! Does this sound ludicrous? Of course! And, when you think about it, so was seeing Francis the Talking Mule playing football or Mr. Ed trying out for the L.A. Dodgers....but they really DID make these movies no matter how ludicrous the premises would seem!

When the story begins, an ex-boxer brings Bernie Bonnelli (Elliot Gould) his boxing kangaroo, Matilda, to meet him. Bernie is shocked that the animal can box and he teams up with a sports writer (Robert Mitchum) to sell the public on the boxing beast. Unfortunately for Bernie, the kangaroo knocks out a top boxer who is owned by the Mob...and they vow to get revenge. In addition to these folks, Ms. Smith is an animal rights advocate and she vows to stop the animal from entering the ring.

The way that Elliot Gould deals with the animal rights activist is just amazing....both stupid AND incredibly sexist. When she's in her hotel room showering, he breaks in to see her. When she comes out in a robe, he makes a few sexist remarks and grabs her...kissing her very soundly. Suddenly, she's under his spell and remains so throughout the film!! Talk about stupid and offensive!!! This is exactly the sort of writing you see through the movie--terrible beyond belief though the actors seem to try their best with an utterly ridiculous plot and less believable dialog.

But it's not all about stupid writing. The movie also suffers horribly from the Matilda costume. Obviously there's some guy inside the suit...and the creature is one of the creepiest animals I've ever seen in a movie. It's MORE creepy than the creatures in "Cats" or the title character in "Sonic the Hedgehog", that's for sure!

So is there any reason to see this? Well, if you like seeing actors like Gould and Mitchum committing career suicide, then by all means watch it! And, if you are a bad movie buff, it's also worth seeing. Otherwise....steer clear, as it's junk...and that's being charitable!!