Malibu Beach

With school officially over, "Dina" (Kim Lankford) gets a new job as a lifeguard at the local beach. Later that night she and "Sally" (Susan Player) are driving around and they just happen to get a flat tire. As they are fixing it two young men by the names of ""Bobby" (James Daughton) and "Paul" (Michael Luther) come along and offer to help out. Soon, as they become better acquainted, they begin to hang out and have a lot of fun. So much for the rather basic plot. To make things worse, there really isn't much comedy to be found and the music essentially consisted of about 3 or 4 songs played over and over again. Yet even considering all of that, this movie wasn't a complete waste due in large part to the beautiful scenery and the feelings of nostalgia this film managed to create. Likewise, both Kim Lankford and Susan Player weren't bad to look at either. Hey, it's great to be young and like most "Beach movies" this film celebrates it. But even so there are better beach movies out there. Still, for what it's worth, I suppose it will suffice on a cold, rainy night if absolutely necessary. As a result I rate it as only slightly below average.

Malibu Beach doesn't have much in the way of a plot, but it doesn't really need one:it's more than happy to wander aimlessly from scene to scene with a 'why worry?' attitude that is perfectly suited to its carefree teenage characters, all of whom are far too busy living for the now to think about the bigger picture.

There's sexy young lifeguard Dina (the gorgeous Kim Lankford), handsome high-schooler Bobby (James Daughton), promiscuous babe Glorianna (Tara Strohmeier), desperate nerd Claude (Roger Lawrence Pierce), Margie the hot-dog stand girl (Sherry Lee Marks), and the older (but none the wiser) bodybuilder beach-bully Dugan (Steve Oliver) to name but a few. As the viewer, we get to tag along with these regulars of the beach scene as they party in the sun and frolic in the hot summer nights.

While it's far from ground-breaking stuff—a series of frivolous vignettes in which our on-screen pals party, swim, dance, race, fight, and hook up with each other—it's a lot of fun while it lasts, a reminder of a time of life when all that mattered was having a laugh with your friends (whilst trying to attract the attention of the opposite sex).

"Malibu Beach" is one of several beach-themed movies Crown International released in the late '70s/early '80s. Until its recent resurrection in several DVD box sets of Crown International movies it was pretty much forgotten, and it doesn't take too long when watching it to guess why. To be fair, the movie, while low budget, never looks really cheap. (Except maybe for the scene with the shark's head, which looks worse than the shark built for the Italian JAWS rip-off GREAT WHITE.) The movie also has an attractive and likable cast. But the movie quickly becomes boring because there is essentially no plot here - it's just a bunch of vignettes loosely connected with each other. And the various attempts at humor throughout are extremely predictable with their execution and punchlines. Still, I will admit that the movie could have been much worse to sit through.

Ingredients needed for a good coming of age teen beach sex comedy:

1 A couple of hunks with blonde hair, blue eyes, lots of pecs and no discernible personality as main characters.. CHECK

2 A nerd with a bowl haircut and thick glasses who gets on everybody's nerves because INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE NEVER ANY FUN.. CHECK

3 Two sexy young girls on vacation who start off hating our heroes but gradually, through the course of the film.. CHECK

4 At least one prudish middle-age adult who start off disapproving of the teenage hormones that surround him but gradually, throughout the course of the film.. CHECK

5. A female lifeguard in a swimsuit who is a total bombshell.. I wonder who'll be the first to pretend to be drowning so they can.. you know.. tee hee.. CHECK

6. A pair of dopey cops who try to stop the party for reasons unknown, but always end up losing.. usually tied up, with their trousers down and a pair of humiliating boxer shorts exposed.. CHECK

7. A campfire scene where everybody confesses their deepest darkest secrets and past mistakes cos, you know, even silly little films like this can have a SOUL too.. CHECK

8. Who can forget the classic skinny-dipping bit? Better make it at night though, and at a distance.. that way the young starlets won't get too embarrassed.. CHECK

9. The mandatory final love scene, which involves lots of kissing, drippy background music.. but not much in the way of movement. Oh well, as long as she's got a nice rack.. CHECK

10. Put a nice montage of all the lead characters playing on the beach over the end credits, just to show that even though summer may be finished, THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP ARE ETERNAL!! Bless.. CHECK

Oh yeah.. I almost forgot about the dog who is trained to steal bikini tops. That's a laugh, seeing this puppy with a bra in its mouth being pursued by a Playmate while she flops all over the place. Comedy gold! Benny Hill, eat your heart out! Oh, I can't go without mentioning.. wait, is anybody there.. HELLO? HELLO? I haven't finished yet!! 0/10

This movie has just about everything you would expect from a beach movie: Bullies, nerds, lifeguards, sharks, obnoxious brats, police, drugs, "chicken" races, horny teachers, sluts, topless beach babes, and surprisingly a bikini top stealing dog!(this gag was repeated in the classic "Hardbodies").Hey, with so much thrown into one can, you have to like something! And I like it a lot.This movie, I believe accidently, came off as a genuine "slice of life" movie that could have been better if it had stuck to the characterizations and not tried to be something for everyone.It was a nice try though!