Malibu Beach

"Malibu Beach" is one of several beach-themed movies Crown International released in the late '70s/early '80s. Until its recent resurrection in several DVD box sets of Crown International movies it was pretty much forgotten, and it doesn't take too long when watching it to guess why. To be fair, the movie, while low budget, never looks really cheap. (Except maybe for the scene with the shark's head, which looks worse than the shark built for the Italian JAWS rip-off GREAT WHITE.) The movie also has an attractive and likable cast. But the movie quickly becomes boring because there is essentially no plot here - it's just a bunch of vignettes loosely connected with each other. And the various attempts at humor throughout are extremely predictable with their execution and punchlines. Still, I will admit that the movie could have been much worse to sit through.

This is one of the few 70's drive-in movies I actually remember seeing in a 70's drive-in--well, sort of. My older female cousin had actually taken us to another drive-in movie, but she was occupied with her boyfriend, so my younger cousin,my brother, and I got out of the car to wander around and we saw bits of this movie showing on another screen--namely the recurring scene with the dog stealing girls' bikini tops. It's pretty tame and goofy in retrospect, but it sure is pretty memorable when you are ten years old.

Seeing the entire movie years later, I can't help but have some misbegotten affection for it. It is one of those free-spirited, anarchic late 70's teen films with no real plot to speak of except for a bunch of California teens cruising around, partying, and having sex (ironically, pretty much what the young drive-in audience at the time was probably also doing). The lead Kim Lankford, who plays a female lifeguard having her first sexual experiences, never really appeared in anything after this, but she was an appealing beauty and quite memorable here. Co-star Tara Stroheim was involved in a lot of Roger Corman-type 70's drive-in fare like "Hollywood Boulevard" with Candice Rialson. The actress with the most interesting career, however, is no doubt Susan Player who was in "The Pom-Pom Girls" (a somewhat more famous drive-in movie a lot like this), but she also appeared in Italian sex comedies like "Cugini Carnal" ("Carnal Cousins")and the British-Italian exploitation film "The Adolescents" with Koo Stark.

You don't need to know any of that to enjoy THIS movie though. It's no cinematic masterpiece by a long shot, and it's fairly tame as far as sexploitation flicks go, but is an enjoyable time capsule of a bygone era.

Another teen centred comedy from the 1970's revolving around the beach, bikinis and the summer time. It's a comedy but the generic kind with no laughs, as it plays more like a romantic comedy. There are several different characters but we don't get to know them too much.

The cover poster art depicts a running gag where a large dog steals women's bikinis while they are lying on the beach. It was slightly humorous at first then got repetitive and wasn't funny. The end pay off wasn't anything special but we saw the collection of bikinis near the end. We wonder how they trained the dog to partake in this.

Overall it's a carefree teen summer comedy with some brief skin shown. Nothing and no character really stands out. The song playing throughout was decent.

Malibu Beach doesn't have much in the way of a plot, but it doesn't really need one:it's more than happy to wander aimlessly from scene to scene with a 'why worry?' attitude that is perfectly suited to its carefree teenage characters, all of whom are far too busy living for the now to think about the bigger picture.

There's sexy young lifeguard Dina (the gorgeous Kim Lankford), handsome high-schooler Bobby (James Daughton), promiscuous babe Glorianna (Tara Strohmeier), desperate nerd Claude (Roger Lawrence Pierce), Margie the hot-dog stand girl (Sherry Lee Marks), and the older (but none the wiser) bodybuilder beach-bully Dugan (Steve Oliver) to name but a few. As the viewer, we get to tag along with these regulars of the beach scene as they party in the sun and frolic in the hot summer nights.

While it's far from ground-breaking stuff—a series of frivolous vignettes in which our on-screen pals party, swim, dance, race, fight, and hook up with each other—it's a lot of fun while it lasts, a reminder of a time of life when all that mattered was having a laugh with your friends (whilst trying to attract the attention of the opposite sex).

Ingredients needed for a good coming of age teen beach sex comedy:

1 A couple of hunks with blonde hair, blue eyes, lots of pecs and no discernible personality as main characters.. CHECK

2 A nerd with a bowl haircut and thick glasses who gets on everybody's nerves because INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE NEVER ANY FUN.. CHECK

3 Two sexy young girls on vacation who start off hating our heroes but gradually, through the course of the film.. CHECK

4 At least one prudish middle-age adult who start off disapproving of the teenage hormones that surround him but gradually, throughout the course of the film.. CHECK

5. A female lifeguard in a swimsuit who is a total bombshell.. I wonder who'll be the first to pretend to be drowning so they can.. you know.. tee hee.. CHECK

6. A pair of dopey cops who try to stop the party for reasons unknown, but always end up losing.. usually tied up, with their trousers down and a pair of humiliating boxer shorts exposed.. CHECK

7. A campfire scene where everybody confesses their deepest darkest secrets and past mistakes cos, you know, even silly little films like this can have a SOUL too.. CHECK

8. Who can forget the classic skinny-dipping bit? Better make it at night though, and at a distance.. that way the young starlets won't get too embarrassed.. CHECK

9. The mandatory final love scene, which involves lots of kissing, drippy background music.. but not much in the way of movement. Oh well, as long as she's got a nice rack.. CHECK

10. Put a nice montage of all the lead characters playing on the beach over the end credits, just to show that even though summer may be finished, THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP ARE ETERNAL!! Bless.. CHECK

Oh yeah.. I almost forgot about the dog who is trained to steal bikini tops. That's a laugh, seeing this puppy with a bra in its mouth being pursued by a Playmate while she flops all over the place. Comedy gold! Benny Hill, eat your heart out! Oh, I can't go without mentioning.. wait, is anybody there.. HELLO? HELLO? I haven't finished yet!! 0/10