- Gen. George S. Patton: It's all a bunch of crap! If Roosevelt were alive, they never would have done this to me. So, I hired a couple of Nazis to help me run the military government! Who else knew how to do it? And those God damn Russians! There isn't a man on the Generals' Staff that won't admit privately that we are going to war with them next.
- Gen. George S. Patton: I'm through with these Cossack bastards! Drunk or sober. Now, tomorrow or ever!
- Gen. George S. Patton: You want your gold? General, you'll get your gold. I personally will go out and find it for you. Do you hear that sir? I will find every God damn bar! And when I do, you have my assurance, that I will come right back here - and shove each and every one 'em right up your sweet, red, Commie ass!
- Maj. Joe De Lucca: I always wondered what happened to you.
- Mara: I waited for you.
- Maj. Joe De Lucca: Did you? I waited in chow lines longer than you stayed around.
- Col. Donald Rogers: Someone's butting in. Somebody that I can't buy off.
- Col. Mike McCauley: Who?
- Col. Donald Rogers: Patton! George S., Jr.
- Lucky Luciano: Hey, De Lucca, you're Sicilian, ain't you?
- [De Lucca shakes his head yes]
- Lucky Luciano: How's your family?
- Maj. Joe De Lucca: They're all dead.
- Col. Mike McCauley: I may drink just a little bit too much and play with the girls a little bit and *steeeeal* a little bit; but, you're out of your God damn mind if you think I'm gonna kill General Patton!
- Hilde: I have ready a bath for us. Yes?
- Col. Mike McCauley: With bubbles?
- Hilde: With lots of bubbles.
- Maj. Joe De Lucca: The first time I walked into a courtroom I looked around. I asked my father, who are the whores - and who are the spectators?
- Theresa von Rodeck: Somebody has been asking questions about us.
- Col. Stewart: Who?
- Theresa von Rodeck: A man called Peter Shelley. What would your General Patton say if he knew you had a German mistress?
- Col. Stewart: Oh, come on, Theresa. Half the American army are living with German girls.
- Shelley Martin Webber: You accept the commission?
- Herr Schroeder: It will be difficult... but I cannot resist.
- [starts to chuckle]
- Shelley Martin Webber: Just one more thing, Herr Schroeder: I have very little time.
- Herr Schroeder: We have that in common, my friend.
- Maj. Joe De Lucca: The war was made-to-order for you, Martin. You stole from both sides with equal grace.
- Shelley Martin Webber: Listen, which was the greater immorality? My petty crimes, or the war itself?
- Maj. Joe De Lucca: "Petty crimes"? You're lucky you weren't shot!
- Shelley Martin Webber: [Naming his price for the "hit," after taking a look in the dossier and seeing who the intended target is: Gen. George S. Patton] Five hundred thousand American dollars.
- Col. Mike McCauley: [silent pause] For that, I'd do it myself.
- Shelley Martin Webber: [shrugs indifferently] Auf Wiedersehen.
- Col. Mike McCauley: [Webber makes to leave, but McCauley, reconsidering, stops him] How much?
- Shelley Martin Webber: [Very matter-of-factly] I never bargain. You wish a man killed. I didn't ask you why. I'm sure you will profit. But *I* must also benefit from my silence. So you pay in advance, 500 thousand in small bills.
- Col. Mike McCauley: Everything you need is here in the briefcase. Background information, habits, staff... everything.
- Shelley Martin Webber: When?
- Col. Mike McCauley: As soon as possible.
- Shelley Martin Webber: December - sometime in December.
- Col. Mike McCauley: It must look like an accident.
- Shelley Martin Webber: It will.