Bog

BOG is one of those movies that cannot be described in words. Well, that is, if the words "atrocious" and "stomach-churning" and "mind-boggling" aren't in your vocabulary. The kissing scene, Jenson's ode to "the dummies," the gratuitous laboratory scenes and Adrianna's monologue dealing with the tribulations of the Namin/Wadna/Crat creature are all featured players when it comes to the hilarity of this stinker. I'm afraid, though, that the monster (or man in monster suit) takes the cake, ahem, rice-cake that is. Don't get me wrong, this film is great. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I love it!

I purchased the movie as I am a devout fan of Gloria DeHaven and had never even heard of it before. From the first scene I became aware of the poor quality of the film (which was factory-sealed) and also the mundane acting. The scary parts were just plain stupid. Gloria DeHaven was good in her roll as Ginny and the love story line was pat. I just couldn't believe that an actress of her quality could have stooped to such a clunker. I was also aggravated that I couldn't find a date anywhere on the tape. I knew by the cars and fashions that it had been done in the 70's, but the date on the cover said 1988. Not possible. Was this monstrosity ever released in theaters? Dear God who would have paid to see it? Looked like the most low-budget horror flick ever!!

There must be many different ways to look at BOG. I, however, can't find any of them. One has to wonder why the creators of this cinematic gem never chose to insert a "The" before the title, why an actress obviously plays two parts, or why the titular "bog" in question is actually a lake. Possibly the only defining moments in this film can be seen during the preview. Pay special attention to the cop who, completely off-cue, screams out "Look, look! Hey, look over there! Look!" Now there's some classic dialogue.

I remember watching this as a kid and it was bad, but saw it again recently and it was worse! It is a film featuring a monster within a lake that is barely seen, lots of talking within labs and a really old cast of unattractive leads that we have to watch two of them make out for what seems like more time than the creature is present on screen! Not a good film in the least, but it is entertaining in its presentation and I am surprised this one never got riffed on MST3K cause it features film whose length fits their time frame, was rated PG so not a lot of worry about cutting stuff out and it is a very bad movie!

The story has a guy dynamite fishing, who accidentally releases a strange creature in a lake. The movie is called bog, but a bog is generally like a swamp, but with less water. Well, this guy is killed and two couples come to this place to drink beer and fish. Well the guys did, the wives came along to complain. The monster gets them and we have a couple of older people trying to figure out what is killing people, a sheriff who keeps losing deputies and a monster that doesn't look that bad getting virtually no screen time.

The monster kills people, but you really see nothing of the attack. One of those films featuring implied monster attacks. The cast, as I have said, is old. When the two girls on bikes ride through it was a breath of fresh air that was not there long enough as they get attacked. There is a swamp hag who kind of mumbles her lines to the point you cannot understand her and a guy who resembles Torgo who promptly gets killed when he leaves her shelter even though he should have known they'd be safer waiting inside her place.

A lot of films were made during the 70's of the lower budget horror variety and some of them work. Shock Waves, Dawn of the Dead and countless others that were still really good. This one was one of the many that were just plain laughable in their execution. Why would any filmmaker think that anyone would want to see a couple of people old enough to be grandparents making out? Though, honestly, that is the most horrific scene within the movie...

After an explosive beginning, featuring senseless fish slaughter, and the unforgettable theme song "Walk With Me", BOG unfolds.

When two beer-guzzling imbeciles lose their crabby wives to an unknown horror, the sheriff (Aldo Ray), Dr. Wednesday (Marshall Thompson), and Ginny Glenn (Gloria Dehaven) are on the case.

Simultaneously, the two aforementioned fishermen follow the town moron into the wilderness, where the local hag (Dehaven again) tells them the legend of the creature they encountered.

In another neck of the woods, Wednesday romances Ginny, while "Walk Witth Meee" plays once again. Where might one purchase this musical masterpiece? Further deaths occur.

BOG IS A SHOWCASE FOR: #1- Aldo Ray, who rants and emotes in a way that Bill T. Shatner would envy! #2- Hundreds of impossibly huge sideburns on parade! #3- Loads of scintillating, pseudo-scientific gobbledygook! #4- That melodic treasure-beyond-price, "Wwwaaalkk Wittthh Meeee" to work its magic in our very souls! #5- The monster, which is -understandably- barely shown, until the finale, when the ludicrous lobster-man causes laughs aplenty!

EXTRA POINTS FOR: #1- The monster's growl, which is a combination of a rhinoceros, someone farting through a trumpet, and my grandfather snoring! #2- The filmmaker's bold decision to play "Wwwwaaaallllkkk Wwwwiittthhh Mmmeeeeeeeeeeee" over the end credits! Bravo!...