Linda Lovelace Para Presidente

There's a disclaimer at the outset of this movie warning that the content is guaranteed to offend just about everyone. Here in the 21st century, one should heed that warning. There are all kinds of offensive racial and sexual stereotypes that would have naturally raised hackles in 1975, let alone in the present. The movie is about the campaign (fictional) of Linda Lovelace, known mostly for starring in the seminal '70s porn movie Deep Throat, for president of the United States. Lovelace is nominated by a group of six walking caricatures (representing millions of people each), including a really butch lesbian, a really effeminate man, an actual neo-Nazi, a token black, a Chinese man (not played by an Asian, of course), and a Catholic priest. After being convinced by her (literal) Uncle Sam to run for president, Lovelace embarks upon a nationwide tour, giving speeches and hopping into bed with as many helpful young men as possible. Now, in case you're still uncertain about this movie's virtues, there is definitely no reason anyone under 18 should be allowed within 100 yards of the film. There's nudity and sex, although there isn't much violence. But, seriously - she's a porn star playing herself, so there's naturally some softcore scenes thrown in to get the attention of male viewers. If the rampant sex doesn't put you off, then maybe the over-the-top characterizations will. Among the cast are Mickey Dolenz as a near-sighted bus driver, Art Metrano (Police Academy) as a sheikh, Scatman Crothers as a pool hustler named Super Black (!), Kennedy impersonator Vaughn Meader as a lusty preacher, and Joe E. Ross (Car 54, Where Are You?) as a dirty trickster in politics. Like some other movies of the late 60s and early 70s, the major theme here is of chaotic wackiness. As the lead, Lovelace is fine playing herself. There's not much plot, there's a ton of offensive material, and nudity abounds. But if you see it in the right frame of mind, perhaps viewing it as an artifact of its times, this isn't a terrible film. (For a fun bonus, check out all of the protest signs near the beginning of the movie. Pure genius putting the AA people next to the AAA people.)

At a political convention staged in an open field, during which we're treated to such zaniness as Polish jokes and pie fights, "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace is chosen, unbeknownst to her, as candidate for President of the United States. Following this too-long-at-15-minutes intro, we see Linda address a crowd of admirers. "Thanks for coming," she tells the crowd, then, following embarrassed giggles, "I guess I'm really blowing it." More laughter. And these are the good jokes.

Not that anyone would've expected any better from this sloppy farce that plays like a dirty-minded Three Stooges movie--only not that good. While everyone else in the movie overacts shamelessly (apparently cast members were directed to simply run around like idiots, shouting nonsense--in a "kooky" accent if possible--while the cameras rolled and everyone hoped for the best), Lovelace manages to walk through her movie with relative dignity. And walk through she does, wearing the type of pained smile one sees on wives enduring a visit from their mother-in-law, stopping occasionally to lose her dress, showing off her silicone-injected breasts and indulging in some simulated humping. Lovelace claimed, years later, that she was coerced into making "Deep Throat," yet she seemed so much more at ease and natural in that movie. It's "Linda Lovelace for President" that she seems to be making under duress. Along for a paycheck (and not a very big one) are Scatman Crothers and ex-Monkey Micky Dolenz in small roles. This rare pop culture oddity is worth a look if you can find a copy, though its entertainment value is solely derived from its unabashed awfulness and seeing the late Linda Lovelace make a pitiful attempt at launching a "legitimate" film career.

What a dumb movie! There are lots of character actors you'll recognize in it. Watch for the dirty old man and see if you recognize him. One even changed his name so he wouldn't be associated with it. Lots of worn out puns over and over and over. It might be funny in states where pot is legal. But like I said, there are only two good reasons to watch this movie.

A country-looking, healthy-skinned, lithe and robust Linda Lovelace reads lines clunkily, but has a gentle, unpretentious charm in this Altman-derivative idjit jamboree, a sketch comedy about the state-of-the-art fellatrix's run for the Oval Office. (Yes, it IS oddly prescient!) In Lovelace's memoirs, the account of the making of this movie (directed, according to her, by old blaxploitation hand Arthur Marks) is hellacious; what's on the screen seems like a blend of HEE HAW and a Maoist-era Godard movie (in its cheapness and improvisatoriness, that is). I especially liked the young bohunk who married an orangutan and gave birth to a talking chimp who sounded somewhere between Minnie Pearl and Minnie Ripperton.

The plot has adult film star Linda Lovelace running for President as the only person the leaders of a political party could agree on. She goes on the campaign trail in a film that is full of political and social commentary humor, not to mention jokes of the lowest denominator.

The film-making is poor. its the sort of scatter shot "lets make a movie" with grade C stars and comedians running about in jokes that are best described a vaudeville or burlesques last gasp. Its the sort of film that is similar to Groove Tube, Loose Shoes, American Raspberry or Kentucky Fried Movie, except as a political campaign. The problem is the material, that which isn't old to begin with, isn't very good. To be certain some of the material is funny in a one off sort of way but mostly is just stupid. The sad thing is that Lovelace actually comes off a pretty good screen actress. certainly she's more real than many of todays adult film stars who try to cross over into mainstream films. Its a shame she never had the chance to do something more than be infamous.

Supposedly this exists in 3 different cuts PG,R and X. The version I saw had the X rating attached to the end, though most of the offensive material was some language, soft core sex and nudity and I seriously doubt it would get an X or NC-17 today. Nothing is exciting in any sense of the word.

Its bland. its dull. Its (mostly) unfunny. Its a turkey