Drive-In Massacre

Granted this isn't a classic movie, but it can be kind of fun if you catch it in the right frame of mind - or if you've been drinking heavily. Basically the title tells all: psycho on the loose at a local drive in movie theatre killing everybody, and even the filmmakers don't know who the killer is. Lame, yes, but how can you miss gems like the title being misspelled in the trailer, (as "Drive in Masacre") The musical score is almost as bad as a record by "Jandek" - if any of you know who he is. An obvious latex dummy is decapitated in the first scene, then we see two Pillsbury Doughboy-looking cops questioning the owner of the drive in (he kind of looks like he's dressed as the devil for Halloween) The audio quality is awful during the first few scenes, so it's difficult to understand what is being said (not that it really matters, though) We get soap opera clichés involving pregnancy in between the first two gory killings, until the two cops go 'undercover' by dressing in drag just like what you saw in "The Town that Dreaded Sundown" trying to catch the killer, but just providing the audience with a few laughs instead. They interrogate a suspect 'Engleson' and the first cop obviously stutters his line while speaking to Engleson ("Do you know what that Engle ... *cough* ... do you know what that is Engleson?") A brief foot chase ensues, but leads nowhere except to an opportunity for the camera man's shadow to be visible on their backs several times here, and in the next scene. This is all good cheese ball fun for about the first 55 minutes or so, but after that, a 'so bad it's good' type of movie just turns terrible as they then try to pad out the short running time by showing that little leprechaun looking guy Germy loitering around the drive in, and then another ten minutes of padding involving the cops chasing an unrelated suspect though a warehouse - and the guy they're chasing looks like the same guy playing "Austin Johnson", only he's wearing a really crappy looking wig. If this sequence, and the lengthy opening credits scene were edited out of the film, the movie's running time would barely be about 55 minutes. This is capped by a twist ending that was probably lame even in an actual drive in, and it's even worse when you see it on video.

If you're looking to kill an hour and ten minutes, you definitely could do worse than this movie, it's better than some here have said.

I find many of the old horror movie titles as part of packaged releases from Brentwood and other companies, twelve titles for $5.99, fifty titles for $20.00, etc. Therefore, many of these films have not been remastered and have lousy sound or picture quality. This is very true for the version I saw of "Drive-in Movie Massacre". I couldn't understand most of what was being said in the opening sequence, and I had to increase the brightness of my television to figure out exactly whom was being shown at the end, and I think I know who it was -- due to the context -- but it wasn't clear.

However, despite its sound and picture problems, this film couldn't have been any better in crisp shape 30 years ago. I was only 4 and 5 in 1976 and recall only one time being sneaked into a drive-in; my understanding of drive-ins, however, is that when things on the screen got boring, people honked their horns. I read that that was why Sam Raimi kept up the pace of "Evil Dead", to prevent horn-honking. I imagine that there was much honking during screenings of this film. The ending is laughably absurd; it MIGHT have worked in 1940, or 1876, and it might scare little four year olds who are still afraid of the bogeyman and have parents who try to keep them well-behaved by using his appearance as a threat, but for teenagers or adults, it's "Oh, Jesus" lame.

This is on top of the film being highly padded, with a minutes-long scene of one character's carnival-gazing and another set in a warehouse that doesn't make a lick of sense. However, I found this film mildly amusing, in a movie-night-with-your-drinking-buddies sort of way. It has touches of camp, sometimes intentional. The manager of the drive-in, filled with angrily-told stories of self-pity, amused me, and I thought that the actor playing "Germy" often hit some spot-on moments, his pathetic 'am-I-a-good-boy?' eagerness to help with the investigation and wounded reaction when finally being pushed too far helping to ground the film.

This is not the worst film of its genre, and I'd watch it again with friends who want to make fun of something while we get drunk.

During the first two thirds of the movie it seems that all the people involved are giving their best and despite it's evidently low budget, movie does resemble a real movie, has some decent practical effects, makes you interested in it's story and undeniably has a certain interesting atmosphere. However, in the last third of the movie whole thing breaks apart with a try at a comedy and a filler warehouse sequence which drags on for too long and is painfully boring to watch. If it continued like it's first two thirds, the movie could have been a nice mediocre movie for the fans of the genre, but like this, it's not very good. I give it 4.5/10! If you do decide to watch the movie, do keep your expectations really low!

This was actually pretty watchable for the genre it was made in. In no way was this film intended to be anything else but B-movie fare at a drive-in very much like the one portrayed within (minus the murders we hope). A nice touch is that it contains the semblance of a storyline. Instead of following the killer around as in most slasher films, they follow the two policeman that are trying to find him as they interview potential suspects. The very novelty of seeing it told this way made it fun for me. Some other moments, such as the not-too-seamless voiceover by a character named "The Great Germy", are so awful that it's almost an inspired kind of awful.

You basically have to have gone to the drive-in yourself years ago to see how dead on some of the portrayals of the patrons are. Yes it's schlock, but it's mostly amusing schlock and perfect for a boring saturday night when you had nothing else to rent; provided of course your video store even carries a copy of this.

For those who'd like to buy this and have no idea what they're in for; just ask yourself the following: Do you like such movies as "The Prowler", "He Knows You're Alone" and "My Bloody Valentine" ? Heck, did you even KNOW these films existed ? If the answer is "yes" to both, then you'll like this film, but don't pay more than 5 or 6 dollars for it. If your only exposure to slasher films has been Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Halloween and maybe a Friday The 13th film or two, then you will probably not like this film and stay far far FAR away.

DRIVE IN MASSACRE was meant to scare the patrons of the actual drive-ins that dotted the landscape of it's day. Starting off with a gag-inducing theme song, the horror gets under way.

A madman is lurking among the rows of cars, and beheads a pair of amorous customers. With a sword! As usual, the cops are stumped. Cantankerous, bullet-headed manager, Austin Johnson (Newton Naushaus) is no help at all. He just hates everyone and everything. Could he be the killer? Or, could it be Germy the "halfwit" janitor? Why is he so twitchy? And, Why is he wearing Pinocchio's hat? Hmm?

Meanwhile, in spite of the gory murders, the drive-in fills up the next night. Unsurprisingly, another couple is dispatched, this time in shish kebab fashion. And, on it goes. At no time does it seem like a bad idea to keep the drive-in open. Even when someone is killed every night!

This movie's biggest problem is that in between deaths, it's an extremely dull police investigation, conducted by the world's most lackluster detectives. They're more like fast food-loving carpet salesmen. While chasing a suspect, one fears that they could drop dead at any second!

By normal standards, this is a debacle. However, on the schlock scale, this is pure gold!

P.S.- Watch for an uncredited George "Buck" Flower as a marauding, bug-eyed maniac!...