- Charlie Lightcloud: Smoke! Something's on fire.
- Grandpa: Fire, hell! That's smoke talk. Chester Walkingbear over at Big Springs. I thought that old dog-eater was dead by now.
- Charlie Lightcloud: What's it say? You know I can't read smoke talk.
- Grandpa: A lot of good it did to send you to school, can't even read your own language! He saying, get ready for big whoop-up. Watch squaws. Joe Lightcloud comin' home!
- Charlie Lightcloud: An Indian can be fine, hardworking American citizen and not a lazy bum--like some white men think!
- Grandpa: Tongue of viper, should strip you naked, paint you red, horse drag you 'cross river.
- Charlie Lightcloud: Not now, Grandpa.
- Grandpa: And don't call me Grandpa. Scorpion squaw should work more, talk less.
- Annie Lightcloud: Watch out, old man!
- Joe Lightcloud: Where's old Grandpa? Is he still alive?
- Grandpa: Damn right, he is!
- Joe Lightcloud: You don't look a day older.
- Grandpa: Day older than what?
- Joe Lightcloud: [singing] Jump down, spin around, let's have a party; Look who's back, Stay away, Joe; Choctaw, Chickasaw, come and drink and party, Welcome back, Stay away, Joe; Stay away, Joe, they call me; Stay away, Joe, oh yeah; But if you need me, call, a-hoop and a-holler and I'll be there; Hey!...
- Joe Lightcloud: [singing] When two lips are ripe for the pickin', Who crops up, Stay away, Joe; Love 'em, Leave 'em, Screamin' and kickin', Hey--ho--giddy-up!--Hey, look at him go! Stay away, Joe, they call me, Stay away, Joe, oh yeah, But if you need me, call me, a-hoop and a-holler and I'll be there! Hey!
- Frank Hawk: What's he doin' to her?
- Joe Lightcloud: If a guy did that without music, they'd throw him in jail.
- Frank Hawk: That no-good son of an Apache!
- Joe Lightcloud: What's happened now?
- Mary Lightcloud: Why don't you find out, while I rescue a certain white man from being scalped by wild Indians--*female* Indians!
- Grandpa: You bad Indian.
- Charlie Lightcloud: Now, Grandpa.
- Grandpa: Don't call me Grandpa!
- Charlie Lightcloud: She's only half Indian.
- Annie Lightcloud: I'm half Mexican. I'm proud of it!
- Grandpa: We invite friends to celebrate our great good fortune, and this half-breed scorpion squaw will not feed them.
- Grandpa: In old days when we have whoop-up, we have *whoop-up*! When friends come to my father's tepee, they get buffalo. Big, fat buffalo!
- Joe Lightcloud: Annie, what's eatin' you?
- Annie Lightcloud: You remember the cow you ate last night? It was da bull!
- Joe Lightcloud: You mean, Bronc was so stoned he couldn't tell the difference?
- Annie Lightcloud: That's right.
- Joe Lightcloud: What would you say if I were to get you a big, strong blue-ribbon stud that weighs about 780 pounds?
- Charlie Lightcloud: Why, I'd say that's a lot of bull.
- Annie Lightcloud: So would I!
- Glenda Callahan: Mamie, you take that shameful thing off!
- Mamie Callahan: It's a mini-dress. I made it myself.
- Glenda Callahan: Mini-dress, hell! It looks like your underwear.
- Joe Lightcloud: I like it.
- Glenda Callahan: Baby, dear, don't you wanna be good?
- Mamie Callahan: How am I gonna be good if I never get any practice?
- Joe Lightcloud: Let me buy you a beer.
- Deputy Sheriff Hank Matson: I'm on duty for another 10 minutes.
- Joe Lightcloud: Well, look, I'll tell you what, when you get off duty, come out to Glenda Callahan's and I'll buy you all the brew in the house.
- Deputy Sheriff Hank Matson: I'll see you there, Redskin!
- Joe Lightcloud: Look, I been thinkin' about you and me.
- Glenda Callahan: Yeah, I know how you was thinkin'.
- Joe Lightcloud: No, Mamie's nice, but, she's just a baby. I like a woman with--maturity.
- Joe Lightcloud: Look, honey, you just don't up and get married like that. You got to plan these things. You know what I mean? You got to get to know each other better.
- Mamie Callahan: Oh! You mean like this!
- [Jumps in Joe's arms as he falls back down on the her bed]
- Annie Lightcloud: Oh, Carlos, Carlos, did you fill the water tank on the toilet?
- Charlie Lightcloud: Three buckets full. She can flush all day.
- Grandpa: You stay away from me, old squaw.
- Annie Lightcloud: Where's your new clothes, Grandpa.
- Grandpa: Mail order suit stink! Wolf skin and blanket, good enough.
- Joe Lightcloud: You know what you are? You're a phony! That's what you are. You like to feel sorry for yourself.
- Mary Lightcloud: Joe, don't lecture me!
- Joe Lightcloud: Well, not me! If I goof I'm not gonna sit around and lick my wounds like some old hound dog, I'm gonna get out and do something about it--and fast!
- Lorne Hawkins: Look at all the other people that made a go of it. Look at John Smith and Pocahontas!
- Mary Lightcloud: Oh, Lorne!