Catalina Caper

For starters, I usually don't watch Tommy Kirk movies. Most of us who have seen this piece of celluloid dung saw it on MST3K. When Volume 1 came out and included the films without the running commentary, I decided to see how bad some of these things actually are. My God what a fool I was.

The "plot" here is that some thieves decided to pull a bait and switch using a stolen scroll on some rich guy. The scroll gets lost due to incompetence while they're showing the goods to the rich guy's lackey. This could be a poor plot (not good, but would suffice to make a B movie) except for the fact that they decided to throw in a bunch of kids who get mixed up in the whole thing. Between the lousy music (Little Richard did OK, but the others were terrible), dancing, scuba footage, and attempts to develop love interests there should be something holding this together besides bad jokes and a loose caper "plot." On top of all of this, the "talent" seemed to not really care what was going on, so the results are predictably crappy.

For God's sake, don't watch without MST3K.

Even by 60's beach party movie standards, this is really cheesy. Actually, awful is a more accurate term. I guess this was intended to be a fun beach party movie but somewhere along the line, it turned out to be a physically and psychologically draining experience. Bad acting all around. Lots of awful music, including a little number in which Little Richard humiliates himself. And a lot of *ahem* comedy that falls flat on its face (quite literally in the case of the obnoxious pratfall guy who serves as the would-be comic relief). And to top it all off, thrown into this mess, making the movie even more convulted than it already was, is a subplot involving an ancient scroll stolen by a bunch of bungling jewel thieves.

This movie was turned into a classic episode of the dearly departed MST3K, so I can't really say this movie turned out to be a complete waste of film. But if you dare watch this soul-sucking movie without the company of Joel Hodgson and his robot pals, you might end up with the urge to jump out the nearest window to put yourself out of your misery.

Catalina Caper is relatively painful. The plot, if you can call it that, involves a group of kids hanging around the beach for some summer fun. A piece of artwork (aka "the scroll") is stolen by this guy who looks like Drew Carey for his boss Duval, who talks like Al Capone. He tries to keep said scroll from this other crime boss Lakapolous. The kids get involved in the case, so that's where all the exciting action takes place. Don Pringle is the main hero of the story. He spends most of his time chasing after this weird dark haired girl. Oh and then there's this other guy in a suit running around trying to expose Duval and he gets into all these slapstick situations that are really, really dumb.

In between the little tidbits of story, you get little music breaks. This includes an appearance by Little Richard! You also get to see some...guys sitting around singing and then this other chick singing a song called "Book of Love". Yeah...not much else to say about that. Not only to you get to hear their great songs, you get to watch all the kids dance too! The way they move looks really painful at times. Makes you just want to jump right into the movie and dislocate a hip with them! They danced like fools in the 60's. Mindless zombie beach goers.

This movie is best viewed in the MST3K version, lots of great jokes there. Joel & the 'bots do a beautiful job of tearing this one apart. See it for a lot of good laughs. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a rockin' scuba party to get to. I feel a dance number comin' on!

Tommy Kirk was signed to a four-picture deal with Executive Pictures Corporation and "Catalina Caper" was the first picture of that deal. Kirk subsequently did not make any further films with Executive Pictures, which should be an indication as to the quality and financial success of "Catalina Caper." A group of teens, led by Kirk, find themselves sucked into international intrigue over a forged and stolen scroll. The film is a bizarre hybrid of a Beach Party and Flint comic spy picture, but lacks the fun of either of those films. The Beach Party films were not exactly big budget musicals, but those films look like lavish MGM musical productions in comparison to the bottom of the barrel production values of "Catalina Caper." Outside of a few catchy musical numbers from surf bands you've never heard of, there's nothing to make this film worth watching. It wasn't even all that enjoyable on a camp level. Go ahead and skip this one.

You'd have to be out of your mind or detached from all common sense to find some redeeming value in this clunker. The plot seems to concern guys, girls, sand, a scroll and Mork & Mindy's Exidor doing pratfalls. Oh, and there are musical numbers, many musical numbers. These elements are strung together very loosely to form some sort of plot, but what's there on screen will make you scratch your head. Little Richard pops up and sings a catchy little dittie and shows everyone else involved what talent is. Best part of the film is when all the girls slap all of the guys and storm off. The next scene is a musical number and then everything is forgotten! Oh to be young and foolish and working on a beach picture. Mary Wells sings the title song "Never Steal Anything Wet."