Catalina Caper

By now, everyone should know that the beach movies in the mid '60s were at the bottom of the cinematic barrel. Little more than excuses to have a bunch of sexually inactive teenagers party, they make you gag time and again.

Which brings us to "Catalina Caper". It is actually possible to like this movie. All that you have to do is rent it and go straight to the Little Richard scene. If you watch only that scene, then the movie is rather admirable. But if you watch any other scenes, then you see that the movie is pure flotsam. A jumbled story of muscle men and big-breasted women foiling a Greek millionaire's heist, "Catalina Caper" will make you roll your eyes. But let's face it: Tommy Kirk never starred in any good movies.

If you really want to watch this flick, then watch the "MST3K" episode where they mock it. Joel and the 'bots have a marvelous time with this one. Servo even sings a song about the woman whom he calls "Creepy Girl". I believe that it was Crow who made a joke pertaining to the Greek guy's name.

There are only three things that I can say complimentary about Catalina Caper, one was that it offered some nice scenery of Catalina beach and the beach city of Avalon, Little Richard sang a number and Tommy Kirk got a needed paycheck. After his exile from Disney Studios and mainstream Hollywood, he probably needed the work and as we know he was taking work from wherever.

I'm sure it was the tourist board of Catalina Island that commissioned Catalina Caper, just make lots of nice cinematography of our island and then put some kind of story on it. Kirk plays a kid from Arizona where they don't have beaches, he's a self described 'desert rat' and he's there with buddy Peter Duryea to learn the beach scene.

Little does he know that he gets himself innocently involved in the stealing of an ancient Chinese scroll from the Ming dynasty by the parents of one of the beach kids. Despite his parentage the kid is honest and the beach gang unite to return the scroll and save the parents from jail. It's all frighteningly dumb.

A few laughs from Robert Donner who rivals some of the great slapstick comedians of the day in number of pratfalls he takes as an inept insurance investigator. The songs which are just grafted into the film are all right. Kirk and Ulla Stromstedt are clearly too old for the parts they play.

Catalina is a beautiful place from which dumb stories are located.

You'd have to be out of your mind or detached from all common sense to find some redeeming value in this clunker. The plot seems to concern guys, girls, sand, a scroll and Mork & Mindy's Exidor doing pratfalls. Oh, and there are musical numbers, many musical numbers. These elements are strung together very loosely to form some sort of plot, but what's there on screen will make you scratch your head. Little Richard pops up and sings a catchy little dittie and shows everyone else involved what talent is. Best part of the film is when all the girls slap all of the guys and storm off. The next scene is a musical number and then everything is forgotten! Oh to be young and foolish and working on a beach picture. Mary Wells sings the title song "Never Steal Anything Wet."

By itself, CATALINA CAPER is a fourth-rate beach party flick with a few pleasant but forgettable rock songs (including one by Little Richard, of all people!) and a lame art heist plot grafted on. As an episode of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 with ribbing by Joel Hodgson & Co. that's far more funny and clever than anything screenwriter Clyde Ware came up with, it's a scream! Just goes to show you *can* satirize comedy if you're talented enough! Tommy Kirk tries real hard to act like a romantic leading man, but even Cary Grant would have a tough time in this melted marshmallow of a movie. And hey, is Del Moore, The Man Who Would Be Jack Benny, actually durable character actor Max Showalter, a.k.a. Casey Adams? Sure looks like him! Anyway, this movie has some nifty eye candy in the form of babes of both genders in show-stopping swimsuits (swimsuit designer Anne Cole is the *real* star of this movie, if you ask me), but it's best seen and enjoyed accompanied by the MST3K gang's zingers.

This movie has very little going for it besides the performance of Tommy Kirk, the funny hat that chubby comedy-relief guy wears, and the cinematography of Ted V. Mikels. But it does has an ace up its sleeve - Robert Donner!

Yes, Robert Donner, that renowned character actor justly beloved for his roles as Yancey Tucker on "The Waltons" and Exidor on "Mork and Mindy". However, the movie's makers, apparently afraid that Mr. Donner, with his overwhelmingly dignified presence, would steal the show from the "stars", forced him to make a series of embarrassing and incredibly forced pratfalls. Oh, the ignominy of it all!